Plunging in

[2sure]

I am sorry. I am sorry I didn't write this well. I am upset and confused and embarrassed.

 

It is going to take a lot for me to make it all make sense.

 

It's OK, we understand. Try it again with more cow bell.

[happy stillmore]

You gotta have the cowbell.

[Goodbye]

Wouldn't this belong in the infidelity section?

[all_fluttery]

Wouldn't this belong in the infidelity section?

 

I am sorry. Yes, it probably should be there. I am sorry to have posted in the wrong place.

[all_fluttery]

It's OK, we understand. Try it again with more cow bell.

I take it that this means it is time to put on my big girl panties. Okay, I will try.

[all_fluttery]

OP: how's the relationship with your husband otherwise?

 

And as for why his wife doesn't have much sex with him? Cause he's probably her version of your husband. Or maybe they've just stuck together because of habit.

 

Don't forget that part of what makes this so exciting is that its new and forbidden fruit! Is he attractive otherwise?

 

I realize I didn't really respond to all the points here. How is the relationship with my husband? Well, when he is here we speak politely. He asks me how things are going with me then proceeds to tell me all about his work. I tell him things that need to be done around the house and he tells me that he will get right on to it all and promptly does exactly none of them. I try and politely let him know that some sex would be nice and he promptly climbs aboard, does his thing for a couple of minutes, then rolls off and goes to sleep.

 

Is the boss attractive? It depends on your definition of attractive. A pot bellied man two inches shorter than I am who is going bald. No, he is not particularly attractive.

 

But he is nice.

 

My husband is more attractive. Almost 6', he keeps in shape, dark hair, dark features.

 

Is he nice? I'll have to get back with you on that.

Edited October 15, 2013 by all_fluttery

[all_fluttery]

this doesn't sound authentic to me

Why? Because the situation is all screwed up? Life is all screwed up. And some things have been skewed to keep people who read here from recognizing me in real life. I didn't do so well at that.

 

Life is messy and confusing, never so simple as what is found in a porn novel.

[all_fluttery]

"dog gone it, he was so nice I offered a BJ"????

 

Really?????

 

What, this is never happened to you? Perhaps if you tried being nice, once, just to see what happens.

[hollyhillcourt]

What, this is never happened to you? Perhaps if you tried being nice, once, just to see what happens.

 

I hope you are kidding. I only thank people I am not in a committed relationship with words from my mouth.

[all_fluttery]

this reads like a Dear Penthouse letter to me. The story doesn't quite hang together...the boss just happened to drive by? You just happened to run into him on the street? The husband didn't think it was weird that you called the boss to fix the plumbing problem?

 

My suggestion for next time is to work on the story continuity a little bit more, and maybe flesh out the characters and the sex? Maybe you could be a party at the boss' house, you are all drinking, you're making eyes at the boss, and he pulls you into a room for quick passionate sex or something like that (i.e., not relying on coincidence to get with the boss)?

 

If it's real, then make it make sense!

 

I take it from this that you must therefore be an expert on penthouse letters?

 

Geez, a party at the bosses house and making eyes at the boss? Puleeze. That has even less resemblance to the real world. Don't you think a snarky little man who has been following around behind the employee's wife like a lost little puppy dog for about six months would be a better approach?

 

But then I am no literary critic.

 

Maybe he was just a nice man and it happened just the way it was said.

 

(Being critical is not a way to find out which version it is, just as a subtle hint. LOL.)

Edited October 15, 2013 by all_fluttery
eta: the LOL

[all_fluttery]

...offered a BJ... lol

 

Women are not supposed to do that? Seriously?

[all_fluttery]

Just in case this is just not bad mommy porn my advice is either leave your husband or stop the affair- he works his butt off for you and this man you are with- neither of you is worthy of him- get over your poor me phase and get counseling and get out of this situation-

 

In case this is a serious reply and not an attempt at a whack the mole post, why leave? A single woman makes far less than most any man does.

 

He works his butt off because he wants to. For all intents and purposes, his job is such that he can work as hard or as little as he wants to. He LIKES being on the road a lot, he LIKES putting in extra overtime. At the same time I see you have not put any reference to how hard I work keeping the home fixed up, (something he never has time for, by the way, because he is so busy WORKING HIS BUTT OFF.)

 

Somehow he is more worthy than another man who will leave his place of work to check out a leak under a sink at the home of an employee he has sent hundreds of miles away, go out and buy the repair parts and expect no form of recompense for it? Who takes the time to ask that employee's wife how things are going, who takes the time to ask that employee's wife if there is something she needs or needs help with?

 

Puleeze, worthy is as worthy does.

 

Oh, you mean go to one of those counselors who tries to convince you that there is really nothing wrong, it is just in your head and oh, by the way, the best way to fix it is if you take off your panties, spread your legs and let me get my dick wet? Is that the type of counseling you are referring to? Or is that just most all of what I have ran into out there.

 

Puleeze, I have been there and been through that.

[all_fluttery]

Then another kiss and ... dog gone it, he had been so nice to me and he is such a nice guy, I offered to give him a bj. And I did right there in the kitchen.

Golly, and who was it, that said, "nice guys finish last"? Wow!

 

Not me. Oh by the way, maybe it is because finishing last means you take longer doing the task. In that sense, what is so bad about a nice guy or being one?

[all_fluttery]

You need counseling.

 

And I hope you are not a stay at home mom, terrible way to shoot yourself and your family in the foot.

 

I am a stay at home mom who works part time because the hubby sees no sense in her working at all. He is of the opinion that tit would be great to stay home and watch TV all day long.

 

My family and their feet are my concern and are my responsibility to look out for. Or are you saying that the child of a woman having an affair with some other guy is somehow put in a worse place that a woman who suffers in silence? Just askin'.

[all_fluttery]

I like OP!

 

I actually thinks she sounds really kind and cute and flustered!

 

And I wish there were more people like her. The world would be a better place, if more women took to giving blowjobs to semi strangers as a heartfelt though messy means of thanking them!

 

The number of random acts of kindness would skyrocket! Guys would trip over other guys trying to lend a hand!

 

"Thank you so much sir! I'd never get that stroller up those stairs myself! Is there anything I could do to thank you and show my appreciation? I just wouldn't feel right about if I didn't do something in return..."

(Cheesy organ music and heavy bass rhythm starts playing in the background)

 

Actually, I forgot to say that if you helped me up the stairs with a stroller, who is to say what the reward would be? Actually it would depend on how nice you were about helping me. (By the way it would not be cheesy music in the background. I am thinking it would be something country, particularly about cheating wives and daisy dukes.)

[Criticality]

I realize I didn't really respond to all the points here. How is the relationship with my husband? Well, when he is here we speak politely. He asks me how things are going with me then proceeds to tell me all about his work. I tell him things that need to be done around the house and he tells me that he will get right on to it all and promptly does exactly none of them. I try and politely let him know that some sex would be nice and he promptly climbs aboard, does his thing for a couple of minutes, then rolls off and goes to sleep.

 

 

 

 

Is the boss attractive? It depends on your definition of attractive. A pot bellied man two inches shorter than I am who is going bald. No, he is not particularly attractive.

 

But he is nice.

 

My husband is more attractive. Almost 6', he keeps in shape, dark hair, dark features.

 

Is he nice? I'll have to get back with you on that.

 

Well gosh darnit, living proof of the myth you sometimes hear, that women don't always go for the looks, and nice guys sometimes do get ahead.

(That reminds me: We need your input in the thread on why women hate short men!)

All_fluttery: You have done good! OK, not so much in regards to your marriage perhaps, but still: Nice men who are potbellied, short and balding everywhere salute you! After reading this, they'll have an extra spring in their step tomorrow morning, will greet their coworkers a little more warmly, and perhaps stop to do a random act of kindness on their way home from work.

 

As a sorta nice guy who's neither older, potbellied or balding I'm left wondering where that leaves me, but that doesn't really matter, and I'm sure that few ****s are given.

 

So what about you? Well, there are kids is the marriage right? That kinda complicates things. If there weren't, I'd say that your marriage sounds kinda boring, get a divorce and move away.

 

But there are kids involved right? So do you want to stay? Do you love your husband? (To whatever degree you can bend that word)

 

I guess the best solution here would be that he changes jobs and you guys move, and live together happily ever after without anyone's feelings getting hurt, or anymore blowjobs given to other guys than your husband, no matter how nice they are.

 

Unless he's down with it of course. Maybe you could get really lucky, and it'll turn out that he's into cuckolding.

 

(Oh well. I suppose if somebody saves a kitten or small child, that could be the one suitable exception for the above. But only that. Surely not even hubby could argue with that.)

[all_fluttery]

Some posters are in an affair because they say they are in love. Some have the star-crossed lovers meant to be mentality. A lot say they are in a miserable marriage. You are just mentally unhealthy, I think. People do not go around giving acquaintances blowjobs because they are nice. Instead of indulging in the feeling of limerence you should question why you put yourself out like that.

 

You say I am mentally unhealthy. Who is to say that I am mentally unhealthy and suffer in life or that I have learned to take broken eggs and turn them into an omelette?

 

Perhaps I put myself out there like that because it is more fun than walking around saying "Oh, how woe is me?" Ever consider that having a certified condition that makes you act in unexpected ways has an advantage in that no one ever knows if the act was from the condition or was something else? Like an offer tan can easily be denied if need be? That it gives freedom to behave in ways that others can't and if challenged on it, you can point to certified test results that say, "I am different. Live with it?" Or is that too deep a consideration?

[all_fluttery]

If this is the case, please tell your husband of your recent transgression and your neurological issue so that the two of you can work through this together. Best of luck

 

Maybe I will tell him, but what if the situation is that I really don't care if it works out or not? Is it possible I may not want to work it out?

[LilGirlandOW]

Wow, nothing good can come of this.

 

You could cost your H his job, which with or without you effects your kids security.

 

You need to get tested for stds and figure out why your offered him a bj. And further offered him sex. Is this your first A?

 

An A can be soul crushing and emasculating for a man, unless your H is a cuckhold. But to add the boss dynamic in, your going to rip his heart and soul from his body! that's a guarantee, not a chance.

 

NC immediately with MM, work on or leave your M, peruse something that will give you a sense of accomplishment so you can start to feel better about yourself.

 

Stop humiliating your hard working H.

 

 

Still reading, post after post... Still... ^^^^this!!!

[all_fluttery]

I would say stop the affair immediately. Then really think through what you want for your life and marriage. Go to counseling if you can't do this yourself. I do not always think it's necessary to tell (counter to prevailing opinion here). But you must stop this and learn from it. Either that or if you really want freedom from the marriage then divorce might be the best option.

 

It may be that you're bored, you're in a small town, and you want something different from life. Maybe you can do that with your husband, or maybe not.

 

Perhaps that is why I am here? Perhaps I am trying to decide if I wish to continue with the marriage or not. Perhaps I am trying to figure out if the marriage is something I want to keep or not?

 

I thank you for the wisdom about whether or not to tell, yes that is my decision to make.

 

I am not trying to be sarcastic here, but why must it stop? Why is divorce the best option? (See above about trying to decide whether or not to divorce.) Perhaps you can give me some good advice in this.

 

And of course that same thing applies to my husband. Perhaps I am trying to decide if changing what we have would be worth the effort of changing what we have and how we are together.

[all_fluttery]

If this is the case, please tell your husband of your recent transgression and your neurological issue so that the two of you can work through this together. Best of luck

 

Yours is about the closest to a real and considerate post so far. For this I thank you. The truth is, what I am trying to work through is what is the best way to handle it in regards to my husband. Yes he is definitely aware of my condition and aware of some circumstances in the past that has happened.

 

Would he take well what is happening with his boss? I am not sure. Does he really want to know? I am not sure. Would it be better if he knew? I am not sure. Do I want to work through it together? That is part of why I am here, to try and figure that out.

 

Thank you for the wishes of good luck. It is appreciated.

[LilGirlandOW]

Your lack of accomplishments has you seeking validation that nobody but yourself can provide, no matter how many thank you bj you distribute.

 

No matter if you tell your H or not your H career at his current company will never be the same, the boss has degraded him to the maximum degree possible and the boss will keep that notion in his head and treat your H as a pathetic cuckhold, the boss looks at you as somebody he can easily use and abuse and that will ripple into how he treats your H in his job.

 

I don't know what you need to do aside from stop sucking off the H boss, or anybody you don't care for deeply.

 

Your H deserves to be empowered by a strong woman right now.

 

Stop hiding behind your Undiagnosed neuro conditions, speculate as you will, your behaviour is not typical of any of the disorders you mention.

[all_fluttery]

My reply to you wasn't meant to come off harshly at all, if you took it that way, please don't.

 

Your husband must be aware of your condition?

 

My reply wasn't meant to be harsh either, I was meaning only to suggest that reading the information in the post might change what you want to say. My experiences with counseling and the limits of what can be done with those who suffer from autism, (which as I say is about the closest thing to what I suffer from that anyone can come up with) has been a mixed bag. Everyone suggests counseling when in fact the vast majority of the time I have spent has been fruitless, because either there is little they can do, or they counselors want to turn the situation into something for their benefit. Now that last might either be something sexual (happens a lot) or something financial. After all the more you attend, the more they make, whether they fix you up or not.

 

My husband is aware of my condition and that is part of the dynamic that brings me here. He is so well aware of it that it gives me room, so to speak, to behave in ways that perhaps some wives can't. Really the question is given that, do I turn the situation into something for my benefit as much as I can, or do I take the "straight" way out and do as "normal" people would?

 

I am trying to figure that out. Thank you for being concerned enough to ask that.

[all_fluttery]

Air fluttery,

 

I have empathy for you. I believe you could have a neurological disorder, ADHD or bipolar. Both present with lack of impulse control. I would get neuro testing done (MRI brain) to rule anything physical out. Perhaps, with medications your brain will slow down and the judgment part starts working at full capacity again.

 

The good news is that you see your actions as being wrong. If I were you, I would have a private talk with the boss and apologize. Tell him this can never happen again. I'm quite sure he is not wiling to turn his world upside down if the news came out. He sounds like a dog. He should have stopped you at that moment you started talking of private things. Afterall, your husband is his employee. I'm worried that he could be a scumbag and hold this as blackmail over you. Separate yourself from this situation. Tell the boss you acted inappropriate and you are sorry. This must never happen again if you are to stay in your marriage.

 

Yes, you messed up. Totally, but you can move on. Though humans make mistakes, humans also have to power to choose right from wrong.

 

Thank you for this post.

 

I just wish to point out that I have said several times, I have been tested and the results come out the same. There is little to be done for it. Now I am not trying to be rude or unpleasant here, but please do consider this: how many times in my life do you think I have been told that I need testing and or counseling? As if there is going to be some magical answer there. I have been there, done that and found there is no magical answer. There is just dealing with it.

 

I see my actions as being wrong. A lot of people see that and still go ahead and do it. And it has to be asked, just because it is wrong for some, wrong for most even, does that mean it is wrong for all?

 

Why should I apologize to the boss? This condition is a part of me and living with what it sometimes causes me to do is part of that. Should a person who is in a wheel chair apologize for all the inconvenience it causes? Should a person with diabetes apologize because they have to take insulin?

 

I do not normally go around offering bjs for no reason. That it happened is related to the fact I am not happy about the way things are. Is that an excuse? No. It does not excuse it. But it is a fact that part of the reason it happened is the condition I have. The thing is I am now trying to figure how to go from here, what I want to do from here on out.

 

In the history of the world, this is not the first time some employer has become involved with an employee's wife. With an employee or employee spouse, let's face it, it is going on a lot out there in the wide, wide world. It is not going to stop the earth from spinning nor is it something totally unexpected.

 

Whether he is a scumbag or a nice guy, what if it happens that I want it to continue. I am at the point where I am not sure which way to go, but I simply have to say that the sex has been great. Whether anyone agrees with or approves of it, that is something very difficult to get away from. The question becomes how do you give up great sex and simply go back to the mundane way you had been living? As the old saying goes, how do you keep them down on the farm after they have seen gay old Paree? Maybe I don't want to go back to the furrowed fields.

 

The question also is can you straighten out a messed up situation without making it even more messed up?

[skywriter]

Not me. Oh by the way, maybe it is because finishing last means you take longer doing the task. In that sense, what is so bad about a nice guy or being one?

 

Obviously nothing wrong with him being a nice guy to you, but, very unfortunate for your husband.