Texas78731 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Hi guys, I have a tough situation I'm hoping for advice on, especially from anyone who has been through something similar! My husband and I separated earlier this year, and were apart for almost 6 months. He was dealing with some issues that had crept up from his childhood; they bled into our marriage and we split because of them. He filed for divorce so I believed the marriage was over. During the separation [after the divorce filing] I became pregnant by a man I was casually seeing, and I decided to keep the baby - even though the man wanted no involvement with the pregnancy. Right around the same time my husband realized [after months of therapy] he had made a mistake and wanted to give it another shot. He was aware that I was pregnant at this time. We've been back together about two months now and we love being back in each other's lives. But... the baby is coming in two months and my husband is realizing he is having a hard time dealing with the idea of raising another man's child. Now that I'm starting to show I think it's starting to become more real for him. He's still in therapy [alone and we go together] but we agree he needs to take an honest look at things and figure out whether we can make this work... or not. He is worried he'll resent the child it's whole life and knows that is unfair. Has anyone been through anything like this? I think it would help the mister greatly to get advice from anyone who has been through a situation even remotely similar. We appreciate any input, good or bad!
WhiteTan Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I haven't been in this situation before and it definitely isn't ideal but at the end of the day, if this man truly loves you, he will do what he needs to do to accept this baby and will eventually learn to love the child like his own. Continuing therapy will be especially useful in this case because there are a lot of mixed emotions involved. It will be incredibly difficult but it's definitely possible for things to work out if he feels your relationship is enough of an incentive to bother with it all. If there's a will, there's a way. so it really depends on how much you love eachother and how strong the will is. Good luck to both of you and to your child!
lollipopspot Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 If he stays, I think he should legally adopt the child so it is officially "his." That may make him feel that he's not "raising another man's child" - it will be his. DNA is not the definition of parenthood.
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