Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I am just so baffled by his behavior..he broke up with me at the end of August and I went NC so now the trend is he is texting me about every week to 10 days.. this started with my bday text and when I asked him why he sent such a sweet message he ignored me and then I told him that he was rude for ignoring me and I thought he had better manners he of course ignored that text then a week later he sent a message saying he would have talked me if I hadn't called him rude I said we could meet up and he could explain everything to me and he ignored me now another 10 days have gone by and he sends me another text about a movie we saw together that is now out on disk i at first deleted his message (yay) but then responded anyway () and said we had fun that night we saw that movie first time, he texted me right back with some fun memories of that night.. that text I didn't respond to..i really didn't know what to say and now again nothing i know he misses me, he knows i miss him so why can't we just be together??? i just don't get it
reddragon588 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 First off... stop responding. Secondly, missing someone is different than wanting to be with them. 6
Ansem Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Who knows, could be playing games and just stringing you along to make sure you're there if he doesn't find anyone. Why/How did you two break up? 2
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 First off... stop responding. Secondly, missing someone is different than wanting to be with them. i wish there was a way to block texts..at least i ignored his last one (my first time!) to your second point, that's what I'm just not getting, somehow i got it all mixed up in my head or something, cuz i think that if he misses me (like i do with him) he should want to be with me! uggh so frustrating!!!
shineslikegold Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Who knows, could be playing games and just stringing you along to make sure you're there if he doesn't find anyone. Why/How did you two break up? 100% agree. My ex did this with me right after he broke up with me...every week or so I would hear from him/be invited out somewhere with him. But he always threw in a reminder that we weren't together anymore. It was like he just wanted to make sure I was still there just in case. I would stop responding. I know it's difficult, but in my own case it would have made things 10000000X easier to move on if you weren't always going "oh a text!" It almost makes you wait for it, and gives him all the control. Don't give in to it. 1
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 If you have an iPhone you can block texts/calls from your contacts. thanks for the advice, but thats not my type of phone i changed his name on it to assclown but it hasn't stopped me from responding i keep thinking maybe he will fully come around or we can some end up being friends, i know, pitiful of me
h0000 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 your responses are so..passionate? like he was just saying a light-hearted hi without suggesting anything yet you get so "excited". "lets meet up so you can explain it to me"? if i were him i'd be thinking "gee she cant wait to see me again". i think you should keep your response very cold, frozen. 1
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 your responses are so..passionate? like he was just saying a light-hearted hi without suggesting anything yet you get so "excited". "lets meet up so you can explain it to me"? if i were him i'd be thinking "gee she cant wait to see me again". i think you should keep your response very cold, frozen. lol, no that's just me here expressing my frustrations.. usually I send very chill answers back (but i bet he knows i would see him again) and he has yet to send me anything remotely like a "lighthearted hi" there is meaning embedded in his messages i just wish i could ask him 'why??'
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Go to your phone company and have his number blocked that way. You probably don't want to block it because you want to get back with him. However, you will continue to be sad and let him play with your feelings. yeah, you might be right about me wanting to keep some type of door open with him (its so frustrating that my heart won't behave!) but I'm very proud of myself though i didn't answer his last text small victory for me maybe i might be finally slowly getting unhooked from him..
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Someone who chooses not to be with you is NOT worth your time. He is just a stepping stone in your life. thank you & sorry that you had to go through this too, but you are so right! i just wish i understood his motives (i know i prob never will..just sayin)
reddragon588 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Brown-Eyez, I'm not sure if you've seen this poster on here before, but they maintain a website with a post you might find helpful: Interpreting Communication from the Ex- after a Breakup 1
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Brown-Eyez, I'm not sure if you've seen this poster on here before, but they maintain a website with a post you might find helpful: Interpreting Communication from the Ex- after a Breakup thank you red d that ^ was really helpful! i especially like this: "When YOU are healed and ready, you can work on creating a friendship with your ex-. But that’s a long, long time down the road after a breakup. Until you’re ready, you’re no longer the ex-‘s cheerleader, biggest fan, emotional support, shoulder to cry on, or pal." this is what stopped me from responding to his last text, cuz the only thing i could have said was something like a compliment or being his fan and I KNEW we no longer have that type of relationship anymore.. so what could i say? maybe I'm learning to let go though my head is spinning a bit from all this I'm not as sad as I use to be when he text & ignore just allittle sad sometimes i just hate life 1
h0000 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) one day you will get through it. at almost two months post BU im starting to not care even if hes sleeping with other girls. im starting to get my power back and enjoy my life .enjoy other guys attention as well. 2 weeks ago I was obsessing over my exs texts as well but now I feel that was pathetic. he put in little effort to send a few words and my whole life is shaking again. lol yeah pathetic. you probably cant related now but soon you will. somettims im still down cuz of the thought "forever lost him" .but at least I have lots more happy moments now. Edited October 14, 2013 by h0000
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 one day you will get through it. at almost two months post BU im starting to not care even if hes sleeping with other girls. im starting to get my power back and enjoy my life .enjoy other guys attention as well. 2 weeks ago I was obsessing over my exs texts as well but now I feel that was pathetic. he put in little effort to send a few words and my whole life is shaking again. lol yeah pathetic. you probably cant related now but soon you will. somettims im still down cuz of the thought "forever lost him" .but at least I have lots more happy moments now. thank you for sharing this but try not to think of yourself as pathetic back then it was your heart that was feeling all that just like mine now so am i pathetic too? i'm happy to hear you feel like you're moving on and am especially encourage to hear that you are enjoying other guy's attention when that happens to me now i just feel meh ...i'm really hoping its the guy and not cuz i'm still so hung up and yeah, i get, the 'forever lost him' feeling (sigh) oh, btw love sucks 1
h0000 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 i do feel my reaction was pathetic and feeling so makes me want to move on and be strong. im by no means insulting you and you should feel whatever works for you. be brave to love and be braver to cut the loss and not give a F about that loser anymore. thats my ultimate goal lol
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 ...be brave to love and be braver to cut the loss and not give a F about that loser anymore. thats my ultimate goal lol yeah, mine too
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 My ex used to play games like that. We'd break up, then he'd start texting and emailing. Just to see how I was blah blah and then we'd always get back together after a month or so of his games. Last BU I agreed it wasnt going to work. When he tried his usual **** i told him i was moving on and was glad we werent together anymore. That's all it took for him to start trying to find a replacement. Havent heard back from him. He's gutless and always questions his decision after we BU but doesnt have the guts to just come out and say it. I was a bitch cos I knew if i was he wouldnt contact me again, which is what i wanted. I dont want him emailing me to see if I'm ok, texing me to say hi. I want to move on. And the only way to do that is to have NC with them. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 My ex used to play games like that. We'd break up, then he'd start texting and emailing. Just to see how I was blah blah and then we'd always get back together after a month or so of his games. Last BU I agreed it wasnt going to work. When he tried his usual **** i told him i was moving on and was glad we werent together anymore. That's all it took for him to start trying to find a replacement. Havent heard back from him. He's gutless and always questions his decision after we BU but doesnt have the guts to just come out and say it. I was a bitch cos I knew if i was he wouldnt contact me again, which is what i wanted. I dont want him emailing me to see if I'm ok, texing me to say hi. I want to move on. And the only way to do that is to have NC with them. My ex did the same!! I took him back 4 times. FOUR!!! The longest he lasted without contacting me after he initiated a break-up was 3 weeks. This last time, he contacted me but he was rubbing it in, and it all seemed different to previous times. Possibly because he already knew I had moved on emotionally/mentally and that I'd never take him back (I had found out he had cheated, before he broke up with me). He then kept sending me mssges justifying his behavior, telling me he had warned me his job stopped him from having a 'normal life', yada yada... Anyway, never bothered to reply to those texts/emails,etc. He hasn't texted/emailed in over a month and a half. The last thing he sent me, a text, he said he realized I was pissed off and wouldn't contact me again. But even that read like a passive aggressive move/veiled blackmail/threat. Of course, in the past, those sorts of threats got me to reply to him ASAP, but not anymore. Breadcrumbs is an understatement. This stuff is pure mind games, and indicates that your ex is highly dysfunctional / an *sshole.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 My ex did the same!! I took him back 4 times. FOUR!!! The longest he lasted without contacting me after he initiated a break-up was 3 weeks. This last time, he contacted me but he was rubbing it in, and it all seemed different to previous times. Possibly because he already knew I had moved on emotionally/mentally and that I'd never take him back (I had found out he had cheated, before he broke up with me). He then kept sending me mssges justifying his behavior, telling me he had warned me his job stopped him from having a 'normal life', yada yada... Anyway, never bothered to reply to those texts/emails,etc. He hasn't texted/emailed in over a month and a half. The last thing he sent me, a text, he said he realized I was pissed off and wouldn't contact me again. But even that read like a passive aggressive move/veiled blackmail/threat. Of course, in the past, those sorts of threats got me to reply to him ASAP, but not anymore. Breadcrumbs is an understatement. This stuff is pure mind games, and indicates that your ex is highly dysfunctional / an *sshole. OMG...Sounds like we were dating the same guy. I took mine back three times. Total passive/aggressive guy too. He apologized and said he was a jerk. I agreed and then he got all ****ty. LOL. Just likes playing with my emotions I think. Also when i said i was over him he got all ****ty. Thinks he's something special. He's a nightmare. Feel sorry for his next GF cos he does seem like a nice guy at first. But you got no idea what your actually in for.
Fufu Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 He's throwing little pieces of breadcrumbs on the floor and hoping you will pick them up one by one... Don't pick them up! We don't eat leftovers/breadcrumbs that people throw on the floor. 1
Author Brown-Eyez Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 I texted him a friendly message back last night and no response yeah, i know... my new strategy is that since i can't block texts from him I will use his ignoring behavior to my advantage i'll text him back something nice & friendly (which he is sure to ignore) and maybe then he'll just leave me finally alone or finally decide to man up and talk to me straight either way i win, right? so far I'm doing pretty good with his not responding
Anethen Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) Sorry I didn't mean to reply to this thread and I can't figure out how to delete it... Edited October 14, 2013 by Anethen
Zahara Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 i'll text him back something nice & friendly (which he is sure to ignore) and maybe then he'll just leave me finally alone or finally decide to man up and talk to me straight either way i win, right? No, either way you lose. Option 1, you perpetuate your confusion UNTIL he decides to leave you alone. Option 2, why would you even want to be with an asshat like this? Emotionally stunted. Immature. Passive Aggresive. Manipulative. And he dumped you. Chances are, he'll do it again if he's behaving like this. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I texted him a friendly message back last night and no response yeah, i know... my new strategy is that since i can't block texts from him I will use his ignoring behavior to my advantage i'll text him back something nice & friendly (which he is sure to ignore) and maybe then he'll just leave me finally alone or finally decide to man up and talk to me straight either way i win, right? so far I'm doing pretty good with his not responding How about get some self-control and not text at all? This is not going to end well for you. You really need to stop being so naive. This is just a tragically horrible idea born out of pure weakness and denial.
Blastoplast Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Stop responding -- if you MUST respond, keep it simple "Ok" "Right On" "Sounds Good". Otherwise I would advise completely against it -- and to not initiate any texts.
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