broke up with "the one" (?) only because of LD. feeling really sad. regretting.

[ellajay]

We are both 16. We met while he used to live in my home town through a friend 4 years ago. We stayed very casual friends for a year or so but in fact we hardly saw each other but texted sometimes. He moved 500 miles a way a year after we met. Then we really started texting more and even talking on the phone a lot too. We grew to really like each other and he asked me out...yes over the phone. I learned he was coming back here to visit some family who lived here and when he came we were able to spend 2 days together before he went back (best days ever it was amazing). I convinced my parents a few weeks later to go on a vacation where he now lives for 5 days. Those were the best days of my life.

 

Problem is, I spent almost EVERY second of my day talking to him (we started going out at the beginning of summer). Weather that was texting, on the phone, or video chatting. My family worried about me..my older brother said I was wasting my life. I almost never hung out with freinds..didn't do anything on Friday night (or any other night) but sit in my room and talk to him. My brother was very adamant that I break up with him. He told me I could get over this boy in 3 years or 3 days. He was really convincing. But me and this boy loved (well some say "infatuated" but I believe it was love!) each other soooo much. We thought were each other's "soul mates."

 

But I was truly very sad in this long distance relationship. I thought about how much happier I would be if I had someone to love who I could actually BE with. But at the same time, I believed this boy was so perfect for me.

 

Long story short lol, one day, on a whim after my brother had gave me a long talk, unplanned, I broke up with him (dated for 5/6 months). We both felt heart broken. We remained friends for a week but soon he just started not talking to me without explanation. A week later we were "friends" again, but just 2 days ago, things ended badly and we are really cutting off ALL contact. I unfriended on fb him and such as well because it was too painful to see his posts and his pictures.

 

My question is: did I make a mistake breaking up with this boy? I still love him and he still loves me. But as a couple, we would only get to see each other for a few days twice a year.

[steveT95]

I understand where you're coming from. I was in a very similar relationship in which we were talking ALL of the time. I was madly in love with. But I also found I was addicted to her, always waiting for the next time we could talk or be together and not enjoying any other aspects of my life. Sounds like that is what you were doing and it's not healthy. I didn't realise that but now many months after the break-up I am enjoying life more because I am living in the moment.

 

You weren't happy. You wanted a relationship with him that you couldn't have because of the distance, therefore the relationship wasn't suited to your desires. It hurts now and it may take a lot of effort to move on. But you will move on and you will find someone else, even if you don't want to right now.

 

Please remember, there is no such thing as 'the one' there is many. That is the first thing I learnt when I came to this site. There isn't one person that suits you perfectly, there are many out there. Your ex may have been ideal for you whilst you're at this time in your life but in a few years you'll be a different person and someone suited to you then will come along.

[ellajay]

Just wanted to say thank you. That helped me a lot.

[emi]

If u feel a strong connection, maybe try again in the next few year, when you both finish study and financial stable.

What mean to be will be

[Criticality]

It's not really fair to either of you. If "things are meant to be" (as they say) maybe you'll meet again when you're both 18 and have more freedom to see the other person, or move if need to be.

 

But as for now? Just let it go..