Sallygirl Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 As many of you know, I work with my ex, which means I've had limited contact with him since the BU. he's attempted to reach back out multiple times since the BU, bit I've ignored those attempts. It has not been easy for me. He is still dating the girl that he was dating at the same time as me. Apparantely a few weeks ago, she got an email about him cheating on her. Im not sure about the status of their relationship at the moment, but a new strange turn of events has happened in the last few days. She is telling him that I reached out to her claiming that that we were still seeing each other. I 100% have not done that. He is apparantely irate at me (obviously believing her). I'm terrified of a confrontation tomorrow at work. Here are my questions: 1. Why in the world would she make this up? 2. How do I react if he does confront me? I'm hoping since he hasn't reached out this weekend, maybe he won't at work either. I'm totally dreading tomorrow. I am even thinking of calling in sick.
Never Again Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 People are vicious creatures, but my best guessing would be: 1.) She's mad about the email and is looking for someone to blame, and since you used to date him...you're a prime target OR 2.) She doesn't like the fact that he's reached out to you...even if it was only in a friendly manner, and is trying to cut you out of the picture Do not fret. Tell him the honest truth: you've avoided speaking to him for your own benefit, and spreading rumors would bring you no benefit...I mean, you work together, after all. If you WERE to spark any drama, it'd come right back to bite you. Any attempts you make to avoid a confrontation will be seen as an admission of guilt. It'll be hard, but better to get it over with, keep it short, and go back to LC. 1
Criticality Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 If you call in sick, he'll think for sure it was you. Just send an email to the girl he's dating, and CC him on it. (Or print it out and ask him to give it to her, if you don't have her email.) Write that you understand that some ****-stirrer is writing her, and you don't blame her for thinking its you. But you don't care much for drama, and since your relationship with X is in the past, you have no reason for dredging things up. You know how annoying it is when people get in your business, and sorry that this is happening to her. You will not contact her again, nor will you contact X unless its for professional reasons. You know who did it? Them... You know the type, and there are a couple in every company...The type who love to fan the flames and create drama. Either cause they just like to gossip and watch the meltdown, or because they're bitter, angry people with awful relationship history who are quietly fighting a crusade against what they consider cheating. And every email sent, is yet another battle to avenge whoever hurt them in the past.
reddragon588 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Hopefully... he is professional enough to keep his emotions outside of work... if he isn't, remain calm and be honest. Tell him you have been purposely avoiding contact with him, and that writing an email to his new fling would not help you in any way shape or form- professionally or personally.
Art_Critic Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Who cares what your ex or his GF think ? Go about the same day the same way you always have, let them and their drama play out all without any input from you. and if she or they say anything to you say nothing, by giving any input you become part of their drama 2
reddragon588 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Who cares what your ex or his GF think ? Go about the same day the same way you always have, let them and their drama play out all without any input from you. This is the best advice, however I do think she needs to prepare that this guy is unprofessional and may confront her about it at work.
crederer Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I would simply tell him you did no such thing and you have no interest in getting tied up in their drama. If he wants to talk about it like a human being he can do it after work in a calm and reasonable manner.
Author Sallygirl Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Thank you soooo much for the Responses and advice. He actually didn't show up for work today. He's probably with her trying to make things better. This has sent me into a tailspin. I was doing so much better with my recovery and now I feel like I have taken really large steps backwards because of this. It is literally all I think about. Why do I care so much if he's mad at me? I'm the one that should be mad at him. I walked into work today with a pit in my stomach, and now I have a feeling tomorrow will be the same...
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