hippetyhop Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Good Morning, It's been awhile since I posted (since August). I just waned to say hi and provide an update. Since August 5, xMM and I still haven't spoke or seen each other. I was debating whether or not to attend a concert that would happen right after the final goodbye, and I did attend. I did not see him, nor her there. Although I haven't spoken to him, I still dearly miss him. My FB is still inactive so the temptations aren't there to search for him and see pics of him from mutual friends, etc. On the hindsight, I'm now back to running. xMM and I were running buddies, and it was too hard to continue with it. I felt 3 weeks ago it is time to make another change and not let that hinder me. I used to receive random updates from the running site about his stats, but haven't in awhile. He likely deleted me. Temptations are there to contact him, but I'm not giving in. From the last phone call (August 5), he said the ball is in my court and he wants to be friends, and no more physical as he "can't" with me. I don't think I ever can be "just friends". For a little background/further update, xMM and I stopped the A after his wife became suspicious of something. He saw texts from someone giving her a heads up, but didn't know what it was at first. I found out recently through a mutual friend that during his marriage (he's only been married 8 years), he joined a match.com type place just for sex. It wasn't during the time of our A, but few years before while he was married. Although he didn't log into the site, the profile was still up. His W was on alert since, and xMM freaked out. xMM took his profile down a few days after she found out, and W was told he took it down (mutual friend told me this--not him; mutual friend also told me that W didn't confront him to take it down). During the time of our breakup, he told me that something from his past likely came back to haunt him. He probably took it down so W wouldn't see, but it was too late. I'm not sure where their marriage stands right now. I still think if xMM misses me, cares about me, etc. I just then turn it around to he doesn't, and he's happy I'm gone. No matter what, it still hurts.
BruisedBNBroken Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Hippetyhop it's so great to hear from you. I was wondering how you've been doing. Thanks for coming back with an update. Congratulations on keeping NC going all this time. Really sounds like you are doing well and well on your way. I also think its great that you started running again. I don't know what I would do without running, it really is my escape. Also, sounds like you really dodged a bullet with xMM. An online profile? Who knows how many times this guy has cheated and will continue. You're lucky you got out when you did. Hope you stay around and share all you've learned.
Author hippetyhop Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Thank you for your continued support It is much appreciated. After my last post on the forum, I just took a vacation from pretty much everyone. I needed it to sort through my thoughts and the situation I put myself in. I'm still hurt. A part of me will always have a love for him. However, that does not mean I need to shun out new experiences and people. We all have down falls. How are you doing?! If only running was as easy to get back into...ugh!
BruisedBNBroken Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I think I need a vacation from everyone too!! I'm in a lather, rinse, repeat cycle of NC/broken NC with xAP. As well as marriage counseling to try to get to a point of peaceful seperation with H. Fun stuff. Take it day to day with the running. Muscle memory - it will come back in no time.
Author hippetyhop Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 No doubt NC is hard--but it is harder going through the same repetitive pattern of false hopes and lies brought on by the master manipulators.
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