hotpotato Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Has anyone had to file a restraining order against someone? To make a long story short, Bridge Dude is back. I hadn't seen him in awhile. I told him point blank I didn't want to talk to him. Yet, he keeps trying to talk to me. The night before last he saw me at the bridge. He tried to talk to me but I ignored him. Despite my coldness, he still *literally* chased me. And he parked next to me, again. Yesterday, I told him flat out I do not want to talk. He seemed to back off. This is getting old. I think he will try to talk to me again in a few weeks. Cliffs: *Bridge Dude is in 50s. I'm 26. *Tried to be his friend, and he tried to get in my pants despite having gf. *BD insinuates he is ready to leave said gf for me. *I tell him to get lost, and he's back like a bad case of herpes
Author hotpotato Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 why in the hack would you even look for such a old people to talk 2? where not looking for trouble yourself? its shore off for someone of that age to look for contact with someone of your age dont you think? learn from it. and beside restraining order you have to stop every contact , calling, and texting back. whatever kind of text. and ignore him like he doesnt exist. because if you waste time of the police and then keep contact with him or text him still even if its to say get lost or something it will work against you and no one will take you serious anymore. I wasn't looking for anyone to talk to, period. We just happen to walk at the same bridge. I have been walking on this bridge for at least a year whilst he is new in town. I * have * been ignoring him. It's not working. I dont consider talking to people inviting trouble. I've already learned my lesson-never befriend or talk to a man no matter how old or taken he is.
tinktronik Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I wasn't looking for anyone to talk to, period. We just happen to walk at the same bridge. I have been walking on this bridge for at least a year whilst he is new in town. I * have * been ignoring him. It's not working. I dont consider talking to people inviting trouble. I've already learned my lesson-never befriend or talk to a man no matter how old or taken he is. Find a new place to walk for a while.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 No, but I still have a former childhood friend who is bordering close on stalking behavior. I told him very clearly that I never had any romantic interest in him and that I don't want any contact. I also blocked him everywhere. Nearly 2 years on, he still creates fake email addresses and facebook accounts to try to add me/contact me. He sends me creepy love songs and is convinced we are "soulmates". Lucky for me he lives in another country but I would be really scared otherwise. The freaky part is that as an adult, he only knew me for 2 weeks of making small polite talk.
Author hotpotato Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 I think you should file a restraining order. Yes. If he contacts me again I wont have much of a choice.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I think you should file a restraining order. I agree...It sounds like the dude can't take a hint. I would file quickly as well. Who know's what this creeps intentions really are. What if one day he decides he's gonna get in your pant's weather you want him to or not? Good luck and I hope this gets sorted out soon for you.
RedRobin Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 I'm not a fan of filing restraining orders unless they seem violent or they are seriously interfering with my ability to work or conduct my daily business. What you might do is start documenting his behavior... date, time, duration, etc. That said, the police (at least in the US) usually need to see that you've taken adequate measures to avoid contact on your own... which would include staying away from the bridge for some period. There are two men I've thought about filing restraining orders on. The man fondly known as Mr. Sexy Talk (who still contacts me occasionally) and a guy I dated shortly after graduating from HS. Won't tell you how long that has been... but it has been awhile, and the dude STILL won't stop contacting me every so often. Not that different than the situation ES mentioned. Just last week, I may have a third!! Mr. Ryan Gosling Look-Alike has made a point twice now of saying "you were up early on such n such day" and telling me he drives past my house almost every day. WTF. What do I think about all that?? I think they just like f-ing with people... if they can't have you, they want to try and get you flustered in some way. Better to just ignore and find someplace else to go if you can for awhile. They'll find another target soon enough, is usually how it goes. 1
Author hotpotato Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Redrobin, I also think they like to get a reaction out of you. Im trying very hard to be neutral. This guy even told me the more I resisted the more he wanted to chase me. I read that stalkers enjoy the challenge, and they think their persistence is proving their love for you. He is delusional, which is what scares me the most. He thinks I ratted him out to his gf. His gf now lives in another country. I have no way of knowing this woman or anyone in her circle personally. He also said he was never chasing me. Ok if thats true, why be concerned about me talking to his gf? I dont know if he was lying or really that unwell mentally.
KathyM Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I had a stalker when I was a teenager who followed me home after school on many occasions. Most times he didn't have the nerve to actually talk to me, just followed closely behind me, although once he ran up to me and put his arm around me, at which time I told him off. I thought that would be the end of it, but the next time he came up behind me, grabbed me and put his hand up my skirt. For some reason, I was too embarrassed to tell my parents or call the police, so I started walking a different route home every day, which seemed to get rid of him. I found out later he was also stalking my sister as well. We never told our mother, since my mother had anxiety issues, so we didn't want to worry her. My older sister did have to file a restraining order against her abusive ex husband, which did keep him away. If this guy won't leave you alone after repeatedly telling him to, I would suggest filing a RO. You may first want to try just not going to that bridge and finding another place to walk. That would probably be easiest.
candie13 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Get a pepper spray and show it to him. Tell him if he ever approaches you again, you'll use it. He'll get the idea, eventually.
Author hotpotato Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I had a stalker when I was a teenager who followed me home after school on many occasions. Most times he didn't have the nerve to actually talk to me, just followed closely behind me, although once he ran up to me and put his arm around me, at which time I told him off. I thought that would be the end of it, but the next time he came up behind me, grabbed me and put his hand up my skirt. For some reason, I was too embarrassed to tell my parents or call the police, so I started walking a different route home every day, which seemed to get rid of him. I found out later he was also stalking my sister as well. We never told our mother, since my mother had anxiety issues, so we didn't want to worry her. My older sister did have to file a restraining order against her abusive ex husband, which did keep him away. If this guy won't leave you alone after repeatedly telling him to, I would suggest filing a RO. You may first want to try just not going to that bridge and finding another place to walk. That would probably be easiest. Sorry about that creeper.
candie13 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Confront and tell him off. Those guys seem to be feeding off their victims' fears. I mean pick a bloody fit in front of him, yell your head off and threaten him with the RO. They don't like girls who make a lot of noise, they prefer goody goody submissive types.
Author hotpotato Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Confront and tell him off. Those guys seem to be feeding off their victims' fears. I mean pick a bloody fit in front of him, yell your head off and threaten him with the RO. They don't like girls who make a lot of noise, they prefer goody goody submissive types. Only thing is he likes the challenge. I wont threaten him with a ro. Ill just do it. Im going to make a police report first. Ro will not be my next step.
candie13 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Did you yell at him? Like be really mean and threatening? That is not "a challenge". A "challenge" is a girl who won't talk to you, who'll walk faster than you, obviously scared. I think you are correct to make a police report, especially if you know his name.
Author hotpotato Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Did you yell at him? Like be really mean and threatening? That is not "a challenge". A "challenge" is a girl who won't talk to you, who'll walk faster than you, obviously scared. I think you are correct to make a police report, especially if you know his name. I wasnt walking fast out of fear. I walk faster than most people. I am there for the purpose to have a brisk walk. The thing about yelling at him is that it is contact. Plus, these kind of people get off on reactions even negative ones. He likes it when I resist. I think I will just hire some big guy to my escort for awhile. Lol
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