iris219 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 My bf and I are moving in together and I am wondering what is the best way to arrange rooms for his kids. They are 6 and 11. Should they share a room or have their own room? If they have their own rooms, there will be an entire upstairs that's not used part of the time. Also, we plan to have a child hopefully one year from now. His children would then be moved to one bedroom. Would it be harder for them to be moved to one room later? What is your opinion on children sharing rooms? 1
tinktronik Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 6 and 11 is too big of and age gap to stick them in the same room IMO. I would go with separate rooms for now. If/when a baby comes along you can figure out the baby's situation then. Babies have a way of being transient in where they actually sleep vs. where you plan of them sleeping for a long time sometimes. 4
Els Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 What has the arrangement been with the kids previously - have they had separate rooms or slept together in your bf's house? Should probably stick with their previous arrangement first - it will already be a big change for them and you will want to make it as easy on them as you can IMO. If your entire upstairs is not used, why can't everyone keep their own rooms even after you have a child? 2
veggirl Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Separate. An 11 yr old is going to start to need/want some privacy. I think it's REALLY weird to make a teen share a room if you don't have to (after a hypothetical baby is born you are going to put a then-teenager into a room with like a 9 yr old?!) 2
Author iris219 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 What has the arrangement been with the kids previously - have they had separate rooms or slept together in your bf's house? Should probably stick with their previous arrangement first - it will already be a big change for them and you will want to make it as easy on them as you can IMO. They currently have separate rooms at their dad's and share a room at their mom's. If your entire upstairs is not used, why can't everyone keep their own rooms even after you have a child? No, what I meant was that, if they have their own rooms, when they are not there, the entire upstairs will not be used as it consists of two bedrooms and a bathroom. We discussed making one of those rooms an office so that it gets used all of the time rather than only when the kids are there.
xxoo Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Are they the same gender, or boy/girl? Especially if they are different genders, they should have their own rooms. If they share a room, maybe the "extra" room could be a space where the older child can keep things that they 6 year old can't get into. An 11 year old needs some protected space of their own. About adding a baby, cross that bridge when you come to it. The kids will be old enough to be involved in that conversation to some degree. But big kids need a room more than a baby. 1
Els Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Personally, I think you should give the kids priority over the office. And at 11 and 6, they should be able to articulate what they want, maybe sit down with them and ask what they'd prefer? 2
Author iris219 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Separate. An 11 yr old is going to start to need/want some privacy. I think it's REALLY weird to make a teen share a room if you don't have to (after a hypothetical baby is born you are going to put a then-teenager into a room with like a 9 yr old?!) We will have to.^ Do you think it will harder to move them or to go ahead and have them share at our house? Are they the same gender, or boy/girl? Especially if they are different genders, they should have their own rooms. If they share a room, maybe the "extra" room could be a space where the older child can keep things that they 6 year old can't get into. An 11 year old needs some protected space of their own. About adding a baby, cross that bridge when you come to it. The kids will be old enough to be involved in that conversation to some degree. But big kids need a room more than a baby. Same gender--both boys. That is a good idea about the room being used to store things for the older child. Maybe the room could be used as an office/playroom space.
Author iris219 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 (edited) Personally, I think you should give the kids priority over the office. And at 11 and 6, they should be able to articulate what they want, maybe sit down with them and ask what they'd prefer? The 6 year old would rather share. The 11 year old would prefer his own room in theory, but they end up sleeping in the same room anyway. They only sleep in their own rooms when my bf makes them. EDIT: We just talked to them and they don't care, though the 11 year old asked if there could be a bed in the other room so his brother could sleep in there when he has friends over. Amazing what a little communication will do! Edited October 13, 2013 by iris219 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I am glad to hear that things are going well iris. You so deserve it 1
Author iris219 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 I am glad to hear that things are going well iris. You so deserve it Aww. Thank you. Hopefully, we won't all kill each other when we move in together. The kids are really excited about us all living together so that should make things easier.
xxoo Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 That's great, iris! Ime, kids can be very reasonable when they are included in the problem solving. 1
LilGirlandOW Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 They only sleep in their own rooms when my bf makes them. Does that concern you? Call me paranoid and I'm not trying to brand your bf here, although, this leapt off the screen to me and hit home. Maybe it was worded poorly by OP.
Author iris219 Posted October 19, 2013 Author Posted October 19, 2013 Does that concern you? Call me paranoid and I'm not trying to brand your bf here, although, this leapt off the screen to me and hit home. Maybe it was worded poorly by OP. They like sleeping in the same room together. Is that odd?
LilGirlandOW Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 The kids sleeping in the same room is completely normal. What is off to me is that your bf makes me sleep in separate rooms, as a. Victim of sexual abuse in my past, this concerns me. I'm trying to understand a reason why he would want them separate at night, that isn't skewed by my experiences. I hope my radars are off here, I really hope.
Author iris219 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 The kids sleeping in the same room is completely normal. What is off to me is that your bf makes me sleep in separate rooms, as a. Victim of sexual abuse in my past, this concerns me. I'm trying to understand a reason why he would want them separate at night, that isn't skewed by my experiences. I hope my radars are off here, I really hope. You are totally off. I suggested he make them sleep in their own rooms because they each have a room and I felt bad that the 11 year old had to share a bed with his brother when it wasn't necessary.
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