making the right decision ??

[ditzy doll]

I was with my boyfriend for 14yrs and we had a really good relationship we have two children although my first son is not hes but he brought him up from day 1 !!! we're childhood sweethearts n got tgether very young !! we have been thru a lot tgether good and bad and always had each others back we were a good team had a great life went on many holidays and it really worked everybody we know says we belong tgether but this I am not sure of anymore ? it all started lst yr when I had a flirty conversation with somebody on line it lasted 20mins at the most just a simple convo of old times n that was that anyway he was goin thru my phone which he did often and found the messages he went berserk to say the least and it really did change his love for me ;( he stood by me and we were still happy but every now and again he would bring it up n I could see it was eatin away at him and I knew the damaged I had caused it may not seem much to everybody but we were in a tight relationship n didn't stand for any messin about !!! I don't know why I did it but I had no intention of cheatin that wasn't even in my head to me it was just a chat !!! anyway we broke up about a yr later he said he just couldn't forget he felt betrayed and couldn't trust me ;( I was truly gutted couldn't eat or sleep cried all the time n he just didn't want to know ) anyways we now been apart for 9 wks he told me that after 3-4 wks he slept with somebody else said he was drunk feelin low n she was there he also said he regretted it instantly n felt ashamed it meant noffin ?? but then he would say that ?? in the time we have been splitt up we txt each other everyday he's hurt me so bad n the images of those two tgether will not leave my head I feel he wanted this to happen or he would av left sex isn't a mistake n doesn't just happen he was intimate with somebody else ;(( on the other hand he did tell me and he really didn't need to said he had a conscience and feels really bad ?? we have since tried to sort things out but I just carnt seem to forgive what he's done it eats away at me daily and the images of them tgether r terrible !! he told me he loves me and messed up badly it doesn't matter where he is or what he does I will not leave his head cause he's in love with me and wants to put things rite ?? I really dunno what to do everybody makes a mistake do I owe him a second chance or am I settin myself up for a fall ? My heart is really broken I think I've made up my mind then it changes I dunno what to do for the best ?? we are both struggling to let go of each other it's so intense and the chemistry is there but I'm hurt so bad what do I do ???