To the people who take their ex back: would you feel like a fallback girl?

[h0000]

when you ex came back and you have given him another chance, would you start to doubt whether his reason behind it is because his new relationship didnt work out? would you start to doubt whether you are a backup and he will leave you again once something better come alone?

[Lizrd3000]

I'm a guy, and yes, I'd definitaly be thinking that, which is the reason why I won't ever take her back.

[mammasita]

Yep, I'd be waiting for the ball to drop again. Waiting for him to decide it was a mistake AGAIN. The trust is pretty much broken.

[BC1980]

I have been struggling with this. My ex left the door open on us getting back together, but, as more time passes, I wonder if I would take him back. I would keep waiting for him to break up with me again. There's just not trust there anymore. Also, I don't want to be the pathetic girl who took a guy back. I think it would hurt my pride in some way.

[h0000]

so you guys think you should never go back with an ex?

[mammasita]

so you guys think you should never go back with an ex?

 

I never say never, but I think that the odds are usually never in our favor. It takes ALOT of work...a lot of work the dumper has to be willing to do, after a good amount of time has passed. If they aren't willing, then there's no point in even considering taking them back. Also, if you've only been broken up for a week/a month/less than a year, I honestly don't think enough time has passed to consider a reconciliation. You're essentially getting back the same exact person who dumped you, and guess what........I'll give ya one guess.

[h0000]

and if you have broken up for a year chances are he has dated other women during this time. and hpw do you justify this?

[mammasita]

and if you have broken up for a year chances are he has dated other women during this time. and hpw do you justify this?

 

You're broken up. What's to justify? You shouldn't be monitoring his actions while you're broken up anyway. You should be moving on focusing on YOU. Chances are if you do the work on yourself, for yourself to move on and improve - you won't want him. Read the link in my sig.

 

Not to mention, I am living proof of it. My ex came back for another chance and I didn't want him.

[h0000]

did you find out why he wants another chance though?

[mammasita]

did you find out why he wants another chance though?

 

Because he realized he made a mistake I guess. He never cheated he just pulled the I love you but I'm not in love with you. Take a look through my threads if you'd like some history

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/428204-wow-i-did-really-hard-thing-today-ex-wanted-work-things-i-told-him-no

[h0000]

how long did it take for him to come back?

my ex gave me the ambiguous reason as well. Feelings changed and things like that. I didn't think too much about it untill i read the threats here saying in this case, 99% of of time he has an eye on someone else already.. and that made me come up with all these suspicions..

otherwise i wouldnt have thought about those and wouldnt be this upset by now..

[mammasita]

how long did it take for him to come back?

my ex gave me the ambiguous reason as well. Feelings changed and things like that. I didn't think too much about it untill i read the threats here saying in this case, 99% of of time he has an eye on someone else already.. and that made me come up with all these suspicions..

otherwise i wouldnt have thought about those and wouldnt be this upset by now..

 

It took about a year. In my case he wasn't cheating, it turned out he was using.

[h0000]

Not saying he was cheating but he could have developed some feelings for someone already but they werent together..it just gave me all the imaginations of him and other women together..im parannoyed..

i know i shouldnt be thinking about this..yeah you wouldnt care if your ex has been with anyone during this year cuz you dont want him anymore. but i havent moved on yet and im obsessed trying to justify all these..