peanutgallery Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Hi there! I started talking to a man via online website aboyt 2.5 weeks ago. He lives 3 hours from me. He came to meet me (drove here) for a glass of wine. His daughter lives in same city ... But he stayed in a hotel. Right away he asked me if he could drive back (another 3 hours) to take me to lunch 3 days later. I agreed. We talked for about 2 hours and I had to go back to work. He now wants me to come visit him this weekend.....and hes already been sexting me. He sounds extremely serious... Even telling me he wants to find the right woman and marry her... He also told me he's considering moving to my city. I like him but I feel a little overwhelmed. He is a pilot and travels half the year... So he seems in phased by the distance... Just wondering if this sounds normal. He's good looking. Makes good $$$ and says he wants to be exclusive. Yet he is in London and I haven't heard from him in 8 hours... Thoughts?
theothersully Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Ha! Could easily be me when I'm very interested in someone. For that reason, I have to say it sounds normal. Some of us are just a little more forward and go for it. Just make sure to be very clear with him about your needs and your idea of how quickly (or slowly) you need things to progress. Let him know how you feel if you are feeling overwhelmed. Explain you want to move a little more slowly, if that's what you need.
coolheadal Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Wait your moving to fast. Just started talking to this guy 2.5 weeks ago. Then you had him come to where you are to a pub for wine. That had gone well. But he is a pilot and travels 1/2 year. Makes very good money also. But how much more do you know about him? You said he has a daughter. So is single dad or is he still married? How old is he and you? So are you ready to get married? Make sure he's not married and you should get to know him better. He seems to be rushing you though. I would caution that. You got know to know if you two click plus you need to know why he's rushing things. You have to develop a relationship first. Wait until you hear from him. Don't text him. Let him contact you first. Don't go back looks only? Today you need to know them from within and what type of mind he has. Flying a plane he has to be 100% alert always. But just make sure you know what your getting into. I would still be cautious with him. Of course you can do background checks to make sure he is who he claims to be. Report back on your progress here with us all.
ThisGal Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 (edited) He now wants me to come visit him this weekend.....and hes already been sexting me. He sounds extremely serious... Even telling me he wants to find the right woman and marry her... I hope you meant texting you and not 'sexting.' If sexting is what you mean that yeah, his intentions are very clear Yes, some men are more aggressive than others, they go after what they want and pursue her, that's not a bad thing at all. I like that. However, you need to be very careful. He has a daughter in the same city, I guess he could have stayed the night at her place when he came to visit you but no big deal that he didn't. He is coming off a bit too strong though. You haven't even known the guy for a month yet and he's saying too much. I would be cautious. Know his marital status, single, separated, divorced, know about his daughter, his past, his goals, his dreams, etc....so, so, so much more to learn about someone and 2 weeks is barely enough time to already talk about marriage. Marriage is a very serious commitment. Also when you go visit him make sure you do so in a public place. Meet some place where there are enough people around. You do not want to go meet him in his home, it's unsafe, no matter how comfortable with him you may feel. You really do not know him. Don't feel like he's too good for you because he's handsome, has a lot of money, etc. If he's truly interested in you (besides for sex) he will make it obvious. But don't be fooled. Just because he's moving quickly does not mean it's a good thing. What's that saying goes...'the faster the fire burns the faster it will go out.' Something like that lol. Meaning that when relationships move too fast it usually dies quickly. You gotta know the person well first before you take it to the next level. Don't let anyone rush you. Good things go at a steady pace. No need to rush when you can take your time getting to know one another well. Build a friendship. Take turns seeing each other in person. Really you two are only 3 hours apart, not that bad. Good luck! Edited October 13, 2013 by ThisGal
Author peanutgallery Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Yeah I meant sexting... He was very into testing about "what he would do with me" if we could be intimate. He says sex is a very big component of a relationship for him. He sent pics of himself... If you know what I mean. I did not... I told him I'm not ready for that. He just basically says that the distance thing is a real issue for him in that he wants to get to know me in any way he can and is even considering moving to my city. He is divorced. Has been for 3 years. Very independent. Says he doesn't date just to date. And it appears that's true. I checked him out online. All that he says appears to be true. But he came home from london today and just texted... And then went to sleep. He had asked me to drive to his town today after he arrived home, but I couldn't make it work. I told him maybe this week.,. But no call etc. just seemed odd.
Solcita2 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 So you don't like the fact that he's moving too fast but then don't like him not contacting you after his arrival for 8 hours? Mmmm... I don't find this unusual. A way back I was in a long distance relationship through internet. It took us a few months to meet each other in person and by the time we did I was already in love, I had no chance... that ended in disaster. Lots, lots of red flags everywhere I decided to ignore because "I was in love". When I met my F online (he found me on facebook and asked me a few questions about an author) we started exchanging facebook messages and met in person really quickly and became physical really quickly as well (very quickly for me, around 2 weeks I think). Why? Because I wanted to see fast enough if we were compatible with each other... if not, why waste our time? I was not interested in an online relationship and even when by that time I thought I didn't want a relationship at all, it did turn that way...
HeavenOrHell Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Men who are full on in the beginning and are talking about the future already are usually full of BS, they're carried along by lust and are talking rubbish. Hi there! I started talking to a man via online website aboyt 2.5 weeks ago. He lives 3 hours from me. He came to meet me (drove here) for a glass of wine. His daughter lives in same city ... But he stayed in a hotel. Right away he asked me if he could drive back (another 3 hours) to take me to lunch 3 days later. I agreed. We talked for about 2 hours and I had to go back to work. He now wants me to come visit him this weekend.....and hes already been sexting me. He sounds extremely serious... Even telling me he wants to find the right woman and marry her... He also told me he's considering moving to my city. I like him but I feel a little overwhelmed. He is a pilot and travels half the year... So he seems in phased by the distance... Just wondering if this sounds normal. He's good looking. Makes good $$$ and says he wants to be exclusive. Yet he is in London and I haven't heard from him in 8 hours... Thoughts?
Carenth Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Yeah sorry to say I think this guy is only interested in one thing and it isn't a long term relationship. To be talking about marriage and moving to your city after knowing him a whole 2.5 weeks is honestly unsettling. It shows he is trying to say things he thinks you want to hear or is unstable. 1
Author peanutgallery Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 He "appears" to be a very good guy and not our for just a roll in the hay. Says he is really hung up on me and doesn't want to see anyone else.. But it IS scary because you just never know... He seems great.. But don't most... On the surface?
Carenth Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I'm telling you someone in a right state of mind would not be declaring undying love this soon or talking about the future... something is way off here. 1
FitChick Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) He knew you lived far away so he shouldn't be complaining. He is stringing you along saying he will move to your city. Wouldn't that be a problem if he has to get to work? Pilots usually have a woman in every city. It's the modern day equivalent of "a sailor with a girlfriend in every port." A pilot bothered by distance? Now that is funny! Edited October 14, 2013 by FitChick
Author peanutgallery Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 No, as I said in another thread.... My best friend is sharing this account with me. I found this site and encouraged her to get opinions.
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