LucreziaBorgia Posted December 6, 2004 Posted December 6, 2004 Men aren't the only ones. Women can do it too. If it is a problem in all their relationships, then I think it comes in part from having many sexual relationships that have no emotional involvement. What causes a person to get themselves into relationships like that? It could be a variety of things. Sexual abuse at an early age, issues with their parents - (the parent or parents were emotionally dysfunctional), the child was taught that sex or masturbation was 'dirty' or 'wrong' if not done in a specific way - literally any number of things. People who have serious problems like this simply cannot reconcile sex with love in a relationship. It becomes a hopeless cycle: the deeper and more emotional a relationship becomes, the less the sex will happen - because for them, sex and love do not belong in the same relationship. A less pathological reason would be that a person is having sex with you because they want to have sex with you, not because they want to be in a relationship with you. I've seen lots of people who have mates that seem to have "psychological problems with intimacy", and those emotionally disturbed people dumped their mates and went on to have happy normal intimate and loving relationships with other people. Sometimes it is as simple as the person they are with. It could be that its not that they can't love you. Its that they don't want to.
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