Anethen Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Has anyone on here (as a dumpee) taken an ex back before? If so, was it hard? What factors played a part in your decision? How long was it before they came back? What type of break up did you have? My ex hasn't come back (not sure if he ever will) but I was jw what other people had done. We had a great relationship and his break up was sudden. I think he wanted to just be single and explore his options. I know he loved and cared about me a lot, he just got scared for the future (seniors in college, need to find jobs, we were going to get engaged this year). A part of me thinks he will realize what he has lost and will come back one day. I'm not waiting around or anything, I'm moving on. I was just trying to figure out what I would do if I were in a situation where he did want me back and was wondering what others on here had experienced. If I were to get back with him, I think it would take a lot of time and a lot of talking it out.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I dunno. I got dumped four weeks ago. I ignored her for a month and before that we fell out. Before that I was distant. This was for an entire year. We were together seven years in a LDR. She would of done anything for me at one point, she truly loved me. Now she says she misses me but doesn't want to be with me anymore, that she can't forget all the **** I did. My factors are weird because I think she broke up with me because I wasn't there for her and she must of thought I wanted to break up myself. Then she broke up with me without telling me and when I came back I was totally the opposite. Trying to apologize and explain myself and tell her how much she means to me. It didn't work. She's got me right where she wants me right now. I can't even pretend to be angry about her decision, I deserve it. Otherwise I'd give her the impression I'm angry and moving on. I don't know at this point if she will come back. I guess it depends on how much she misses me and how much she trusts me. How long ago did you break-up? At least in your situation you don't have to apologize for anything. I don't see why you need to be given a 2nd chance, you did nothing wrong. Just stop chasing him and give yourself some power back, that's all you can do to make him miss you.
Author Anethen Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 How long ago did you break-up? At least in your situation you don't have to apologize for anything. I don't see why you need to be given a 2nd chance, you did nothing wrong. Just stop chasing him and give yourself some power back, that's all you can do to make him miss you. We broke up about 6 weeks ago. He ended it really suddenly- no warning signs. We were each others first really serious relationship, first loves. We were everything to each other, talked about the future all the time. I'm not chasing him anymore. The first 3 or 4 weeks I wanted him back more than anything. But now, he's been hanging out with another girl as an unofficial rebound. Since then, I've accepted things and moved on. I'm not obsessed over the BU like I was before, but I can't help to think that he's just going through a weird phase right now and is confused and doesn't know what he wants. Now that I've accepted the fact that he may never come back, I still can't help myself to wonder what if you know? I have this inner struggle with myself. One minute I'm like, there's no way I could take him back. He feels like something is missing and feels empty inside and questions our relationship for like a total of 3 days then just ends it? Why didn't he fight harder for us? Why didn't he talk it out with me? He's already seeing another girl? What about how we feel about each and what about the plans we had for the future? How could he do this to me? But then, I think about the good times. He never yelled at me once. Sure, we got in little arguments, but nothing major. We had a super healthy relationship. He has always been there for me, we have fun, make each other laugh, are each others best friends. We literally understand each other. We have so much invested and would do anything for each other. These go through my head all the time. These thoughts are the only thing keeping me from moving on. I don't have an urge to text him anymore or anything and I don't constantly wonder what he's doing. I just think about the future. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it
GSW Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 We broke up about 6 weeks ago. He ended it really suddenly- no warning signs. We were each others first really serious relationship, first loves. We were everything to each other, talked about the future all the time. I'm not chasing him anymore. The first 3 or 4 weeks I wanted him back more than anything. But now, he's been hanging out with another girl as an unofficial rebound. Since then, I've accepted things and moved on. I'm not obsessed over the BU like I was before, but I can't help to think that he's just going through a weird phase right now and is confused and doesn't know what he wants. Now that I've accepted the fact that he may never come back, I still can't help myself to wonder what if you know? I have this inner struggle with myself. One minute I'm like, there's no way I could take him back. He feels like something is missing and feels empty inside and questions our relationship for like a total of 3 days then just ends it? Why didn't he fight harder for us? Why didn't he talk it out with me? He's already seeing another girl? What about how we feel about each and what about the plans we had for the future? How could he do this to me? But then, I think about the good times. He never yelled at me once. Sure, we got in little arguments, but nothing major. We had a super healthy relationship. He has always been there for me, we have fun, make each other laugh, are each others best friends. We literally understand each other. We have so much invested and would do anything for each other. These go through my head all the time. These thoughts are the only thing keeping me from moving on. I don't have an urge to text him anymore or anything and I don't constantly wonder what he's doing. I just think about the future. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it I'm in a very similar spot as you. And unfortunatly for us, we really do need to just move on. If our ex's want to get back together THEY need to say something about it, lingering on the past or what ifs will only hurt you in the long run. My ex broke up with me in what felt like out of the blue, but reflecting i realized i had gotten lazy. I wish she would have talked about it to fix things but theres nothing that can be done. So the only thing that we can do to help ourselves is to let go and let the world work itself out.
Fufu Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Has anyone on here (as a dumpee) taken an ex back before? I'm back with my ex, not the one that I posted over here. If so, was it hard? It wasn't hard to come back together, in fact it was pretty natural. We bumped into each other about 1 to 2 times unexpectedly at different places. What factors played a part in your decision? We both felt much more comfortable together compared to last time. How long was it before they came back? 8 years (we dated in early 2007) What type of break up did you have? incompatible character, both of us were headstrong and childish back then.
Janni Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Has anyone on here (as a dumpee) taken an ex back before? I took my ex back. Though he broke up with me again a year later and now he's with someone else. If so, was it hard? Yes, it was. At first I kept my distance, though begging over text and calling him. I ended up going to his house and he immediately warmed up to me. Asked if I wanted to stay the night. And then we were as if nothing had ever happened although I was heartbroken and cried a lot. Even while being next to him in bed. What factors played a part in your decision? I wasn't ready to lose him and I wanted to do whatever I could. I changed a lot about how I communicate and so on to make up for my errors. When he finally came around I wasn't sure I still wanted it - While trying to get him back, I had also been trying to move on. In the end I took him back, because I still loved him deeply and I believed in it. How long was it before they came back? 6 months approx. What type of break up did you have? He broke up out of nowhere. Said he didn't love me the same way. I believe he was depressed and that made him feel numb. I also think he doubted my feelings for him, because he told me he never thought he meant that much to me.
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