I keep thinking about this girl...

[FranksoSerious]

I can't believe I really signed up on a site like this, but I honestly need some more answers.

 

So, for the longest time I used to see this girl at work and for some reason she kinda reminded me of someone, now I won't say but she did. I may have spoken to her maybe once unofficially without introducing myself to her and that was just buying something in her line.

 

I forget how the conversation went, but I remember being interested in her then... just that I was doing a lot of working and just, I have no idea why but I never tried to make a connection with her.

 

When ever I would go to the store I would ALWAYS notice her working their no matter what, but I would avoid going to talk to her and it was not because of her looks or anything... I still don't know why I didn't do it then!

 

Now because of my particular and unique job I get to travel and I was working in the city where she lived for years in and out and there for a few months at a time, so whenever I went to where she worked I seen her. I never really went there for her though, but I won't say I was not interested at any of those rare occurrences anyways.

 

For awhile I stopped working in her area and actually had to work in Florida and a bunch of places moving around and at the time I didn't think of her because I was focused on my job, my job is VERY demanding and taxing.

 

 

So, for the part that has more meaning to it...

 

Recently I got a chance to work near the area she works in and I had to pick up some things from the store and boom... There she is again and I looked right at her, but she looked a lot different than before... She lost a lot of weight. Which to me was very surprising because when I seen her all the other times she was a little heavier but still NOT unattractive.

 

On this day I tried to do the same thing and avoid her again... so I purposely tried to go into another line and that line had issues and the woman working their said to go to "HER" line ( The girl). At this point I'm thinking "ohh ****!"

 

I took one look at her and I was done.... I never felt so comfortable talking to a person in my life, but talking to her at least for me felt natural. I think I was in shock though, lol.

 

I did not ask for her number... I think I did something stupid but good at the same time a week later.

 

After seeing her again I can't stop thinking about her, to me she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.

 

So, I thought about it and I went to her job on a chance... not knowing she was going to be there.

 

I bought a few things and tried to waste some time and just as I was about to give up... there she goes JUST getting to work. At this point my brain felt like it was gonna have a meltdown... So I said "Screw it" "I need to introduce myself and tell her this"

 

So I walked over to her and introduced myself formally for the first time and we shook hands and all that and she told me her name officially.

 

I told her in these exact words " I've been coming into this store for a long time and I don't live out here or anything, but whenever I came in here the only person I ever noticed was you"

 

Her reply:

 

"Thank You, that means a lot to me"

 

She seemed very Sincere about it which was nice.

 

my response was " I just had to tell you that"

 

For some reason I don't know why, but I didn't ask for her number at that time.

 

But before I left she said "Next time you come in here just come talk to me"

 

And I said "Ok Ill do that"

 

 

Long story short -- after the fact I did go back and she was NEVER their... it pissed me off, but because of my job it makes that task more difficult than it sounds.

 

I went back a few times and she was not at work --- while I was in her area.

 

The time came for me to take time off from work, so I get about a week off (no pay)... I still kept thinking about her...

 

 

I did something "Stupid" I live about 2 hours from where she works, so I assume she might live in the area too ... not sure.

 

I drove to her job on the small chance I would see her and she was not there. ... AGAIN

 

What I did, I wrote her a little letter on a Card telling her I stopped by and wanted to talk and see if we could have lunch ,told her in the letter I would be working in another area and then I included my number and told her to give me a call sometime -- also within that card i did mention that I live in a city about 2 hours from her, but I did not mention why I was really out there and just said " I was in the area".

 

I did all that and she doesn't even know I drove just to deliver a letter to her...

 

Well since she wasn't at work I had to give it to one of her Co-workers... and she said that she would give it to her.

 

 

Well, it has been a week and I have not heard from her at all, so Im not sure if she even got it..

 

What should I do? Is it over? should I just give up?

 

I found her profile on facebook, I thought about adding but I don't know...

 

Help me ?

Edited October 12, 2013 by FranksoSerious

[FranksoSerious]

Bump my post pleae

[FranksoSerious]

No one has any insight on this ??

[deathandtaxes]

Too hard to read. You ramble way too much. You lost me after a paragraph or two.

[FranksoSerious]

Too hard to read. You ramble way too much. You lost me after a paragraph or two.

 

 

 

For everyone having a hard time with what I wrote I will keep it simple.

 

1. I went to this girls job and complemented her by saying she was the only person I noticed when ever I came in. ( I included background on this and WHY I would says something like that --- Simply put it was the truth)

 

2. She told me when I see her at the store to go to her and talk to her, but I did not receive her phone number at that time.

 

3. I dropped in on a couple occasions to see if she was at work (This is BEFORE I left to go home)

 

4. From my House which is 2 hours from where she works I drove there to see if she was working. She was not at work,

 

I wrote her a letter on a Card telling her I stopped by and wanted to talk and see if we could have lunch ,told her in the letter I would be working in another area and then I included my number and told her to give me a call or text me sometime -- also within that card i did mention that I live in a city about 2 hours from her, but I did not mention why I was really out there and just said " I was in the area".

 

Again, I did not give this card to her directly- it was sealed with her name on it.

 

5. I don't know if she ever got the card because It has been a bit over a week and she has not called me.

 

6. I looked her up on Facebook, but I don't know if I should try and contact her through it... should I give up or give it a shot ?

 

The last thing I want is a woman to think I am stalking her.

[deathandtaxes]

Much better!

 

I think the card approach was a bit too passive. Why not wait until the next time you see in her person to ask her out?

[FranksoSerious]

Much better!

 

I think the card approach was a bit too passive. Why not wait until the next time you see in her person to ask her out?

 

 

To be honest , I travel SO MUCH that that opportunity would take a while to get to her so I could, believe me when I say when I see a woman I REALLY like that much I will put in the effort for her.

 

I feel this girl is worth it.

[FranksoSerious]

Any other perspectives?

 

Ladies? What do you think?

 

I rarely if at all give out my number, but due to the circumstance I felt I had to.

[FranksoSerious]

Ladies what do you think about what I did? I mean that was not a normal thing for me to do, but because of my job and the time frame I did not have much of a choice.

[Bigcitydreamer]

There was absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. If she was into you she would have contacted you by your phone number. Its actually pretty sweet what you did in my opinion!

 

Unfortunately I really don't think she likes you in that way because she would have appreciated that gesture and responded.

[PinkCarnations]

Your story could make for a great romantic comedy, but unfortunately we don't live in such a world. Haha. However, I do think what you did was awesome!! So don't have any regrets. I don't think she likes you, or she is not single.. because if I was attracted to the guy who gave me that card AND I was available to date, then I would have totally contacted that guy already. However, I think you should add her on facebook anyway. You really have nothing to lose, because if you don't add her or find a way to be in touch, then you really end up with NOTHING. Plus, having some guy you barely know add you on facebook isn't that creepy unless the guy comes off as creepy AND looks creepy. There was a guy I met online but never met in person before who friend requested me on fb. My name is very common and my location and school isn't listed, so I know that he went through great lengths to find me. However, I thought he was attractive, so when I got that friend request, my heart actually skipped a beat.

 

Anyways, go for it and best of luck!

 

P.S. You can find out more about her on facebook, and who knows, she might not be who you thought she'd be... OR she might find more about you and become absolutely smitten. What exactly do you do for work anyways?

[Criticality]

If you happen to go there again, just ask casually whether she got your note. If she says yes, that kinda says it all. Move on.

 

If she says "what note?" Ask her out, but keep out the detail that you drove 2 hours just to give it to her. And to hand her the note.

 

If she's so awesome and into you, it would really suck to miss out because her coworker either is a dumbass, or or have plans himself/herself with her.

 

But hey, don't get your hopes up too high. It kinda sounds like you've written some hope-cheques that reality can't cash.

[FranksoSerious]

Your story could make for a great romantic comedy, but unfortunately we don't live in such a world. Haha. However, I do think what you did was awesome!! So don't have any regrets. I don't think she likes you, or she is not single.. because if I was attracted to the guy who gave me that card AND I was available to date, then I would have totally contacted that guy already. However, I think you should add her on facebook anyway. You really have nothing to lose, because if you don't add her or find a way to be in touch, then you really end up with NOTHING. Plus, having some guy you barely know add you on facebook isn't that creepy unless the guy comes off as creepy AND looks creepy. There was a guy I met online but never met in person before who friend requested me on fb. My name is very common and my location and school isn't listed, so I know that he went through great lengths to find me. However, I thought he was attractive, so when I got that friend request, my heart actually skipped a beat.

 

Anyways, go for it and best of luck!

 

P.S. You can find out more about her on facebook, and who knows, she might not be who you thought she'd be... OR she might find more about you and become absolutely smitten. What exactly do you do for work anyways?

 

 

What do I do for work?

 

I am a technician with an environmental company, I work on job sites that require me to work with dangerous machines 24/7 and I work along side geologists . I have to be ON SITE all the time, but I can leave. Its not really even close to being a dirty job, but it has its moments.

 

To be honest this job has some what of a stranglehold on my life and time is a luxury that I don't get to enjoy much outside of work... The job I have requires me to basically "Live" on site for months at a time ... like I goto one city and its a month here or 3 months there --- at times it can be totally unexpected. It is a very demanding job, I just make it look easy.

 

I also have a Degree in Computer Science... haha The job that I do now is not something I really wanted to do... Im really more of a computer nerd

[FranksoSerious]

So, I sent the girl a friend request on Facebook. To be honest and this is my gut feeling, I don't think she is going to replay or even add me.

 

I know my luck and I have a lot of bad luck when it come to the ladies... ALOT.

 

I'm not an unattractive man what so ever, I just think it always comes down to bad timing. Who knows....

 

This has NOTHING to do with confidence in myself because I have a lot of it, yet I am a pessimistic type of person.

 

People tend to misread me ALL the time.

[tlegend]

So, I sent the girl a friend request on Facebook. To be honest and this is my gut feeling, I don't think she is going to replay or even add me.

 

I know my luck and I have a lot of bad luck when it come to the ladies... ALOT.

 

I'm not an unattractive man what so ever, I just think it always comes down to bad timing. Who knows....

 

This has NOTHING to do with confidence in myself because I have a lot of it, yet I am a pessimistic type of person.

 

People tend to misread me ALL the time.

 

People tend to misread you because you are trying to do everything backwards. I think delivering the card was a good idea, but it's too passive and leaves too much to chance. The person who said she would give it to her may have even forgot about it, or threw it away. Who is to say she even GOT the card??

 

Drive your lazy ass to the store. If you are into her, you will do what it takes to get her attention.

 

Otherwise, don't come here asking us why your passive games aren't working. Go ask her on a date. Don't complain about what it takes to get her to say yes.

 

If you are into this girl that much, then go chase her already.

[FranksoSerious]

People tend to misread you because you are trying to do everything backwards. I think delivering the card was a good idea, but it's too passive and leaves too much to chance. The person who said she would give it to her may have even forgot about it, or threw it away. Who is to say she even GOT the card??

 

Drive your lazy ass to the store. If you are into her, you will do what it takes to get her attention.

 

Otherwise, don't come here asking us why your passive games aren't working. Go ask her on a date. Don't complain about what it takes to get her to say yes.

 

If you are into this girl that much, then go chase her already.

 

I CAN'T chase her, I am like 3 hours more or less from where she works and if shes not their that would be a waste. I'm on a Job site, my job is THAT demanding, trust me when I say finding a woman in the position that I am in is not easy at all.

 

My job sucks, plus I am monitored by a person ONSITE between 8am- 4PM. I can't leave unless its for personal things like food and water and washing my clothes and mostly that is done on weekends or weekday nights. I NEVER leave the site on the week days because I can't and the times I have to monitor this stupid machine is every 4 hours.

 

I hate having to explain my job to people man... its a really LONG explanation and 80% of the time no one understands.

 

 

 

She lives way outside of the city I am in right now... then you include a lot of traffic.

 

Believe me when I say I have gone out of state for a woman... THAT cost me a job which is why I work where I work RIGHT NOW.

 

I play it passive because I don't have time... I was about to work a job site IN LA, and the ONLY reason I am where I am is because my best-friend hurt himself on the job and hes out of work. --- The Irony ... seriously ... lol.

 

Dude I really do want to go see her, but not at the Sacrifice of the only thing I have which is my job.

 

I seriously appreciate everyones help, I REALLY DO!

[deathandtaxes]

If she's that far away, don't even waste your time. Certainly there are PLENTY of women local to you.

[tlegend]

I CAN'T chase her, I am like 3 hours more or less from where she works and if shes not their that would be a waste. I'm on a Job site, my job is THAT demanding, trust me when I say finding a woman in the position that I am in is not easy at all.

 

My job sucks, plus I am monitored by a person ONSITE between 8am- 4PM. I can't leave unless its for personal things like food and water and washing my clothes and mostly that is done on weekends or weekday nights. I NEVER leave the site on the week days because I can't and the times I have to monitor this stupid machine is every 4 hours.

 

I hate having to explain my job to people man... its a really LONG explanation and 80% of the time no one understands.

 

 

 

She lives way outside of the city I am in right now... then you include a lot of traffic.

 

Believe me when I say I have gone out of state for a woman... THAT cost me a job which is why I work where I work RIGHT NOW.

 

I play it passive because I don't have time... I was about to work a job site IN LA, and the ONLY reason I am where I am is because my best-friend hurt himself on the job and hes out of work. --- The Irony ... seriously ... lol.

 

Dude I really do want to go see her, but not at the Sacrifice of the only thing I have which is my job.

 

I seriously appreciate everyones help, I REALLY DO!

 

I stopped reading because all I hear are reasons as to why you can't make it work with this girl.

 

What is the point of the post if you are just going to defeat yourself in every aspect of trying to get her?

 

You are fulfilling your own destiny with this girl. You tell yourself there is no way you can make it work. Have you ever heard the saying "Your thoughts become your action?"

 

The line that really got me:

 

I CAN'T chase her, I am like 3 hours more or less from where she works and if shes not their that would be a waste.

 

If you were into this girl as much as you pretend to think you are, you would go after her.

 

Thomas Edison tried and failed over 1000 times trying to get a lightbulb to work.

 

You tried to drive to her work once.

 

Get it?

[FranksoSerious]

I stopped reading because all I hear are reasons as to why you can't make it work with this girl.

 

What is the point of the post if you are just going to defeat yourself in every aspect of trying to get her?

 

You are fulfilling your own destiny with this girl. You tell yourself there is no way you can make it work. Have you ever heard the saying "Your thoughts become your action?"

 

The line that really got me:

 

 

 

If you were into this girl as much as you pretend to think you are, you would go after her.

 

Thomas Edison tried and failed over 1000 times trying to get a lightbulb to work.

 

You tried to drive to her work once.

 

Get it?

 

 

I understand...

 

Not every decision is going to be easy to make, yes shes worth it. At the same time, I don't totally feel like I can do anything right now. I may go out there when I get time off, but for now hell no. Not while I am at work.

 

Bro, I can't even take a shower... I am in my work clothes and all I got is work clothes to wear plus Im staying in a trailer for work which is why I can't take a shower. Trust me if I am going to see this girl I am going to come out swinging.

 

Right now, is not a good time.

 

I still have not heard from her on Facebook, so that should already be another hint there. Not that all people are facebook junkie.

 

I rather her actually say no to my face than to be avoided by these little things. Guys, Im an idiot.. I have done things like this before.

 

I went to see a girl maybe 4-5 times and she lived in the same area and I ONLY got to see her at work and hang out with her at her job. I think I did it because either I was bored or she was just leading me on.

 

THAT Turned out VERY VERY bad for me.

[pteromom]

I still have not heard from her on Facebook, so that should already be another hint there. Not that all people are facebook junkie.

 

Did you write her a message explaining who you are, or did you just send her a FR? Because us women get a lot of weird friend requests from guys, and we tend to ignore them.

 

I wouldn't waste any more time with all the wondering.

 

If it is a pain to get out to where she works, call her job. Tell her that you realize she can't have personal calls at work, but ask her for her phone number and what time she gets off work so you can call her at home later. If she doesn't want to give you her number, you have your answer.

 

Bottom line: find SOME way to just ask her out and see what she says. The longer you keep dragging this out, the more you build her up in your head. If she isn't interested, you need to find out and move on.

[tlegend]

Or just make up your mind.

 

It boils down to a very simple decision you need to make.

 

1) Is she worth it to you? If so, go find out and ask her out.

2) Is it too hard to be worth it for you? Then stop pining over someone you have yet to even have a connection with.

[FranksoSerious]

Did you write her a message explaining who you are, or did you just send her a FR? Because us women get a lot of weird friend requests from guys, and we tend to ignore them.

 

I wouldn't waste any more time with all the wondering.

 

If it is a pain to get out to where she works, call her job. Tell her that you realize she can't have personal calls at work, but ask her for her phone number and what time she gets off work so you can call her at home later. If she doesn't want to give you her number, you have your answer.

 

Bottom line: find SOME way to just ask her out and see what she says. The longer you keep dragging this out, the more you build her up in your head. If she isn't interested, you need to find out and move on.

 

 

Tried calling the store.... and that didn't work. In fact the store employee told me that she was not at liberty to say rather she worked there or did not work there. By the way the girl works at a Target. So, I can just toss that one out.

 

That was kind of weird, I'm not sure I want to do that again. ---The only real way is to catch her at work, and that is a 50/50 shot at best unless she responds to me on facebook or something.

 

So there we have it folks, luck not on my side LOL

[FranksoSerious]

Holy****! she added me to Facebook!

 

Oh damnit, I'm SO glad I was wrong, YES! --- A step forward, thats a good sign.

 

Now I have this "A dog chasing cars" feeling, you know? -- Like once you catch it you have no clue what to do with it because the car was moving so damn fast and you have no clue your effort would pay off in any way.

 

Well, should I ask her if she got that card?

[Lansing]

Dude, take a breath. Promise me you won't send her a message at all today!

 

Just step back and relax a bit. You are WAY too much into this girl and you will mess up any chance you have if you rush into things and start sending her messages/etc. Does she even know who you are?? Did she put you on limited profile? (i.e. can you see her postings/etc).

 

You don't want to put too much effort into catching this girl you hardly know. Plus, she lives far away from you, how would you even date??

 

Just remember you know nothing about her. There is such a thing as putting a girl on a pedestal. Think about what you ACTUALLY know about her and have a more realistic expectation.

 

I know the feeling of seeing a girl and thinking "wow". I was away last weekend in a different city and I was visiting a museum. There were mainly old people there but this young girl walked in and I was thinking "wow". I would have liked to talk to her just to find out where she was from/etc but I chickened out. It was good that you talked to the girl in the store but sometimes you have to select your words wisely so you don't show too much interest as it can come across as creepy/desperate.

 

I wouldn't even bring up the note and just start off fresh. But, again, wait to send anything so you can gather your thoughts and maybe get some feedback from others here.

[FranksoSerious]

Dude, take a breath. Promise me you won't send her a message at all today!

 

Just step back and relax a bit. You are WAY too much into this girl and you will mess up any chance you have if you rush into things and start sending her messages/etc. Does she even know who you are?? Did she put you on limited profile? (i.e. can you see her postings/etc).

 

You don't want to put too much effort into catching this girl you hardly know. Plus, she lives far away from you, how would you even date??

 

Just remember you know nothing about her. There is such a thing as putting a girl on a pedestal. Think about what you ACTUALLY know about her and have a more realistic expectation.

 

I know the feeling of seeing a girl and thinking "wow". I was away last weekend in a different city and I was visiting a museum. There were mainly old people there but this young girl walked in and I was thinking "wow". I would have liked to talk to her just to find out where she was from/etc but I chickened out. It was good that you talked to the girl in the store but sometimes you have to select your words wisely so you don't show too much interest as it can come across as creepy/desperate.

 

I wouldn't even bring up the note and just start off fresh. But, again, wait to send anything so you can gather your thoughts and maybe get some feedback from others here.

 

Right, I know I need to take a step back... I was shocked though. I can see her posts... I can see everything.

 

I'm gonna take my time with this one, just not TOO much time. I understand that shes far and I know nothing about her.

 

So, I won't rush into anything. I'm smarter than that ... I just tend to think out loud too much.