When women whine about the "Hello" or "Hi" email

[irc333]

This woman, who has been on both OK Cupid and POF for years and constantly active on it, lives very close to me.

 

Anyhow, just like any email I sent to a woman on POF, they usually get ignored most times.

 

Then she made an addition to her profile that said, "Please scroll to the BOTTOM of my profile and read the very last sentence FIRST before continuing to read the rest of my profile"

 

So....I scrolled down...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

She said, "Please say more than just "Hi" or "Hello" when you send me an email, put some more effort into it!"

 

After seeing this, I sent her an email saying, "Hm, funny how I sent an email of substance to you, but you never replied...so what's the point?"

 

That's what irritates me, these OLD women that whine about something that has been happening with them lately with online dating....like rude emails, perverse men giving them genitals pictures and of course the recent complained about one-word "Hi" emails....but when a guy DOES heed her instructions....she ignores him anyways.

 

There's never satisfying anyone.

[bumpyroad]

She ignores it anyway because she doesn't like you/your profile.

 

If she did, she'd probably send something back fun/jokey and get the ball rolling.

 

But yeah, dating sites are a pain in the ass.

 

Anyway, what are you classing as 'OLD'?

[irc333]

She ignores it anyway because she doesn't like you/your profile.

 

If she did, she'd probably send something back fun/jokey and get the ball rolling.

 

But yeah, dating sites are a pain in the ass.

 

Anyway, what are you classing as 'OLD'?

 

It's an acronym used most often (on these message boards) for "On Line Dating"

[aussietigerwolf]

hi doesn't bother me... What does is the "are you going to let me f..k your pussy" as a first message.

[bumpyroad]

It's an acronym used most often (on these message boards) for "On Line Dating"

 

I see, thanks.

 

There's a lot of acronyms on this board, the amount of barely decipherable ones in the Other Woman/Other Man section can get mind boggling.

[Art_Critic]

Did she reply to your second email ?

I don't understand rules like that in profiles either.. but they are there..

 

I also don't understand this part of your post:

This woman, who has been on both OK Cupid and POF for years and constantly active on it, lives very close to me.

 

You write it as if it is bad thing but you are also on them both and have been for years and are constantly active.

 

Should she answer you out of desperation, should you answer people who contact you out of desperation even if you are not a match ?

[irc333]

Did she reply to your second email ?

I don't understand rules like that in profiles either.. but they are there..

 

I also don't understand this part of your post:

 

 

You write it as if it is bad thing but you are also on them both and have been for years and are constantly active.

 

Should she answer you out of desperation, should you answer people who contact you out of desperation even if you are not a match ?

 

Well, I live in an area that's quite rural and most people in my age bracket are married or living together. The rest of the population is retirement age. So the selection is at best minimum.

 

Usually I find myself corresponding with women in a big city that's a good hours drive from me, but it is nice to find someone I can just at least meet in minutes. It's kind of the "Last of the Mohicans" situation and complain about the pervs or creeps contacting them and when a decent fellow contacts them, they ignore him.

 

Ironically, I've only received responses from women a good distance away, while the ones close by hardly at all.

 

I sometimes think geographic desirability would at least motivate someone for a quick lunch or drink meet, I mean why not give it a shot if they live that close to you? THese women wind up chronically single and they may as well relocate to said big city for a larger selection if they've been this site for so long and they're always complaining about the string of losers that keep contacting them.

 

There's only but a handful of these women living in my area, usually they are new comers to the location and have come to the realization they'll never meet anyone out and about through normal social means in some one-horse towns.

 

No, she never replied to my 2nd email.

 

should you answer people who contact you out of desperation even if you are not a match ?

 

There is no way to determine if we're a match, unless we've met face to face.

[phineas]

most messages I get from from women are "hi" or "hello"

 

People who expect more on POF make me LOL!

 

They way I look at it, if she finds me attractive she will respond to "hi".

If she doesn't, well, at least I didn't waste my time crafting a personal email that was going to get ignored anyway.

[irc333]

most messages I get from from women are "hi" or "hello"

 

People who expect more on POF make me LOL!

 

They way I look at it, if she finds me attractive she will respond to "hi".

If she doesn't, well, at least I didn't waste my time crafting a personal email that was going to get ignored anyway.

 

Yeah, as if you have to "earn" it.

 

I recall a woman who said, "If you guess this movie quote, you'll get brownie points with me!"

 

I was able to guess it easily, guess what....no reply. LOL

[irc333]

Some of these profiles, usually these women have like 6 or 7 pics of them just before "going out" on a Sat night to a club dancing...and the attire is some kind of body hugging dress or "little black dress" # in a mirror before painting the town red.

 

And then she has, "Just ask me, and I'll tell" and that's all she's got. lOL

[Ok Good]

 

.

She said, "Please say more than just "Hi" or "Hello" when you send me an email, put some more effort into it!"

 

After seeing this, I sent her an email saying, "Hm, funny how I sent an email of substance to you, but you never replied...so what's the point?"

 

That's what irritates me, these OLD women that whine about something that has been happening with them lately with online dating....like rude emails, perverse men giving them genitals pictures and of course the recent complained about one-word "Hi" emails....but when a guy DOES heed her instructions....she ignores him anyways.

 

There's never satisfying anyone.

 

I think it still comes down to social manners. Just like inconsiderate car drivers, social graces have really disappeared with people feeling more anonymous.

Someone puts any effort into an initial email to me I will reply, even if its a no thank you type response.

 

However, I would not have replied to your second email as it sounds negative and bitter...

[irc333]

I think it still comes down to social manners. Just like inconsiderate car drivers, social graces have really disappeared with people feeling more anonymous.

Someone puts any effort into an initial email to me I will reply, even if its a no thank you type response.

 

However, I would not have replied to your second email as it sounds negative and bitter...

 

My second email to her was some time back, and it was not negative.

 

I noticed she took a leave of absence from the site because she stopped being on the site, turns out she was out of town for several months and back in my neck of the woods again.

 

That's when she made the additional "scroll down and read this first before contacting me" note.

 

THat's when, today I sent her an email stating what I said. It wasn't negative, just calling her out on her actions. It only may seem negative because she knows she's in the wrong.

[irc333]

However, I would not have replied to your second email as it sounds negative and bitter...

 

It's rather moot, because she never replied to the first one either or the 2nd follow-up.

[TigerCub]

I think when people put "rules" in their profile - it just makes them look condescending.

 

So yes, that woman putting the 'I don't want a Hi email - you must do better' line, makes her look demanding and almost like she's trying to train the guys of OLD.---> So not attractive!

 

I wouldn't put something like that, I will leave it to the men to show me just how socially intelligent or awkward they are on their own.

 

Now - onto your point.

Yes, she made it clear (later) that she doesn't want the 'Hi' emails - but you feel upset that although you didn't write her a 'Hi' email, you were still ignored.

 

The thing is - everyone on OLD looks for a varying range of things in a potential interest, and although yeah you may have passed the 'writing a message with more effort and substance ' test - it doesn't mean that you passed her overall list of things she'd want in a potential date. And it certainly doesn't mean that she owes you anything.

 

She should have replied with a nice 'Thanks but no thanks' email, but she didn't.

 

I just don't understand your constant need to keep contacting women that are clear about not being interested in you.

 

What was your planned end game when you sent that last message to her (the one calling her out)? - what did you get out of it? And How does it help you further your dating skills?

[irc333]

Spot on TigerCub.

 

Irc, online dating is frustrating. And I do think most women want to see more effort then simply "Hi" or "ur hot". And it's great that you do put more effort into your emails. BUT, it will not always be enough. Just as I am sure you've met many "nice" girls. But being "nice" alone doesn't close the deal right?

 

Well, the thing is...I think there is quite a finite amount of women I've been seeing on these sites lately.

 

Even starting to see the SAME faces from Match.com, to OK Cupid, and so on.

 

It's getting to the point I have exhausted my dating options and emailed all who I had (that I thought was compaitible with) to email.

 

It's come full circle and thus my repetitive "follow-ups" after seeing some of these women pop back up on the sites after a a break (some announce it in their profile "yep, I'm back on here again...and now....trying again to hopefully find a normal guy")

 

Usually I would say, "Hey, welcome back, I suppose since you're now back and now looking for someone normal, I figured I'd follow-up".

 

I'd give a brief synopsis in this email about myself, briefer than before in hopes she MAY have changed her mind and attitude about men she met online and perhaps give me another chance.

 

On RARE occasions this HAD worked! lol Even scored a date.

 

THIS email wouldn't be negative, but it would be attempt to re-connect with them after they made their "announcement".

 

Sometimes, I would see a woman announce that she was back, but I've never seen her before, so it would be my FIRST email to her.

 

The ones I had success with were entirely shocked by my legible writing skills and use of the English language that doesn't involve text speak or "Hey babe" or "U R Hawt!!" emails.

 

They are so impressed (at least upon comparison to others that contacted her) that it was enough to warrant to meet me.....get this...in PERSON!

[irc333]

When you go out on these dates, how much of your energy do you use to evaluate how *you* really feel about her? I ask because sometimes men approach dating as a "numbers" game. And they don't always spend a lot of time thinking about which women truly are compatible with him vs, how many numbers he is pulling and how cute she is.

 

The truth is that it is very few people who are really compatible with us.

 

Also, what kind of dates do you ususally end up on? Do you suggest places? Do you ask them what they would like to do? When you are on the date, what kind of things do you talk about?

 

I won't really get into details, but they are typically first date senarios where I meet them for dinner, get to know each other and what are likes and dislikes are.

 

If we are into the same thing we talk about specifics of the hobby or activity. If it's about a belief system, I ascertain what she believes in vs. what I believe in.

 

Like if she believes in smoking pot, it would probably not work out or if she's an atheist , I wouldn't date her at all (more than likely would find that out before meeting though). If she seems ditzy or more into herself than wanting to find out about me or even non-reciprocation that's something I wouldn't get involved in.

 

I like a woman who is engaging in conversation.

 

 

 

 

If her children may wind up being a problem when it comes to dating that could also be an issue.

 

Things like that.

[phineas]

Yeah, as if you have to "earn" it.

 

I recall a woman who said, "If you guess this movie quote, you'll get brownie points with me!"

 

I was able to guess it easily, guess what....no reply. LOL

 

those chicks are ridiculous & just on there for the ego feed.

[Maleficent]

Well let me open my Rules for Online Dating book...

 

Nope. Nowhere does it say a women OWES you a response on OLD just because you wrote an email with substance.

 

Sorry.