missmiss123 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 I've only been on 3 dates with this guy I met online about 3 weeks ago. So far it has been about a date a week. On our 3rd date we had lunch and watch a movie at his, he tried to sleep with me, but I turned him down saying "I think it's abit soon". He was fine with it and didn't react badly, he just said "it's ok" and enjoyed the rest of our time together. The date lasted about 5 hours. I don't hear from him everyday, but he does text me every 2-3 dates. I never initiates the dates or texting (because it is still early stages), but always always reply. Do you think it's too early to ask him what he is after? Don't want to put him off and kill the attraction as it is still so soon. Also, a date a week is pretty casual.... Advice and opinions?
Author missmiss123 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Also, do you agree that 3 dates is still abit early? I want him to take me out more and 'date' me properly and show more interest before I sleep with him. If he is insterested in something serious he would be ok with this right? 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 It's too early to tell but it looks like he is not that interested. I would go with it and see if the pace picks up soon. P.S. if it feels like it's too soon to have sex then it IS too soon.
veggirl Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 lunch and a movie at his place? That's not a date so early on, it's an invitation for sex. Make sure your future dates are public and do not end at one of your homes. You'll know soon enough what he wants, you don't need to ask....what I mean is, when was the 3rd date? Has he set the 4th yet? If there is no 4th date, he just wanted sex. If he asks you to his place or yours for a 4th date, he wants to try for sex again. If he calls you and asks you to dinner or a festival or a museum then he is probably interested. You don't have to ask. 3
KatZee Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Definitely do NOT ask him what his intentions are. That aspect needs to come from him. What you need to be doing is watching the amount of effort he puts in with you. Honestly, a movie at his place is NOT a date. That is "hanging out." He also tried to sleep with you at this point too. Yes, guys love sex, it's all about the sex early on, but most decent men can hold off if they are looking for a serious relationship with a woman. They would rather get to know her, take her out, show her the best side of himself. Your guy is being a bit lazy. He's not planning proper dates, he's not taking you out, he's trying to get in your pants pretty quickly, and communication every 3 days is also pretty relaxed. You're going to be the one to set the precedent for how much respect you demand of yourself. I would cut off the "hang outs" and plan out of the home dates. Definitely don't sleep with him just yet because he hasn't even put that much effort to be entitled to your vagina at this point anyway. Watch how he treats you, watch how he acts, do NOT go on what he says. If his communication with you does not increase, if he's still not planning real dates, and progressing a relationship, then it's pretty obvious his plan is "casual dating." 3
Author missmiss123 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Definitely do NOT ask him what his intentions are. That aspect needs to come from him. What you need to be doing is watching the amount of effort he puts in with you. Honestly, a movie at his place is NOT a date. That is "hanging out." He also tried to sleep with you at this point too. Yes, guys love sex, it's all about the sex early on, but most decent men can hold off if they are looking for a serious relationship with a woman. They would rather get to know her, take her out, show her the best side of himself. Your guy is being a bit lazy. He's not planning proper dates, he's not taking you out, he's trying to get in your pants pretty quickly, and communication every 3 days is also pretty relaxed. You're going to be the one to set the precedent for how much respect you demand of yourself. I would cut off the "hang outs" and plan out of the home dates. Definitely don't sleep with him just yet because he hasn't even put that much effort to be entitled to your vagina at this point anyway. Watch how he treats you, watch how he acts, do NOT go on what he says. If his communication with you does not increase, if he's still not planning real dates, and progressing a relationship, then it's pretty obvious his plan is "casual dating." Thanks! I totally agree with you also... Should I just wait for him to text me and ask him out again? I shouldn't really initiate yet should I? I'd really like him to increase the texting but looks like he is after just casual dating.
KatZee Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Thanks! I totally agree with you also... Should I just wait for him to text me and ask him out again? I shouldn't really initiate yet should I? I'd really like him to increase the texting but looks like he is after just casual dating. I think you should be initiating but not as much as he is. He's initiated everything up until this point. YOU need to contribute as well if you want him to think you're interested. But don't go overboard on text messaging him, keep conversations to the point via text, make a plan and then just stop messaging, don't sit on it all day. You can call him to make a plan if he's called you. Plan an actual date.
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