Dreamworld Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Hi everyone. This is not a question pertaining to me but a friend and I was curious about people's thoughts. What would you make of friends who suddenly just stop contact with you and disappear? No word, you are unfriended from FB, gone without a trace? Attempts to get in touch with them fail and you are left wondering what on earth happened to them? And you were not on bad terms. My friend showed me her FB and she told me a good friend of hers had deleted her on FB and had ceased all contact. The striking thing is that she had deleted not only my friend but everyone they knew together. So the other friends are also wondering what happened to this one person. She is a apparently a really nice sweet girl too and well liked. Any ideas? Life crisis?wanting to forget the past? Thanks!
reddragon588 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Did the person who ceased contact recently go through a breakup?
SpiralOut Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 (edited) It is impossible to say what it was. Maybe something happened between herself and one other person in the group so she decided to remove herself completely from that social circle. Maybe she is going through a major life change and only wants new people around. I had a friend who cut himself off from me and everyone else from our group after he had come out as being gay. Maybe she has a health issue she wants to keep secret. Maybe she has a controlling partner. Or maybe things weren't as good between her and the rest of you as you think they were. Whatever it is, I wouldn't take it personally. Given time, she might decide to reconnect with one of you. Edited October 13, 2013 by SpiralOut
Author Dreamworld Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Did the person who ceased contact recently go through a breakup? Yes. According to my friend, the girl who disappeared finalized a divorce recently. Everyone around her knew about that struggle. Also her FB is still active from what she shows on her wall with other friends. It seems she has cut contact with my friend and their whole group (it is a big group too) Is the divorce a significant factor?
Author Dreamworld Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 It is impossible to say what it was. Maybe something happened between herself and one other person in the group so she decided to remove herself completely from that social circle. Maybe she is going through a major life change and only wants new people around. I had a friend who cut himself off from me and everyone else from our group after he had come out as being gay. Maybe she has a health issue she wants to keep secret. Maybe she has a controlling partner. Or maybe things weren't as good between her and the rest of you as you think they were. Whatever it is, I wouldn't take it personally. Given time, she might decide to reconnect with one of you. Thanks. These all sound possible. Just to re-clarify I don't know the girl who disappeared nor do I know her whole group of friends she cut ties with. I just know the one friend who is friends with her and my friend just wanted an outside third person perspective I guess. I suggested she post here but she doesn't want to. So I figured I' d it for her instead.
reddragon588 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Yes. According to my friend, the girl who disappeared finalized a divorce recently. Everyone around her knew about that struggle. Also her FB is still active from what she shows on her wall with other friends. It seems she has cut contact with my friend and their whole group (it is a big group too) Is the divorce a significant factor? More than likely. When I went through a breakup a couple months ago, I did this with some friends in mutual circles with my ex. It's not that I don't like them or there is any negativity there... I just need to move on with my life and unfortunately they serve as a reminder of my ex. It sucks, but it's the only thing I can do for my own sanity. I suspect this individual is having similar thoughts.
hippetyhop Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I have a friend who occasionally does this as she suffers from depression/anxiety and this is her way of coping with the low of the low. When I don't hear from her, or she does this, I send her a text letting her know that I hope she's well and I care about her. Just simple words sometimes are best. 1
Gloria25 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I have a friend who occasionally does this as she suffers from depression/anxiety and this is her way of coping with the low of the low. When I don't hear from her, or she does this, I send her a text letting her know that I hope she's well and I care about her. Just simple words sometimes are best. Oh, I'm glad to have run across your post here ^^ because I've been sheltering myself in my little "cave", am going through a lot of depressing/stressful stuff, and I've done this before - yet I've been getting worried cuz I'm afraid people aren't gonna "get it" that I just need my space. Thanks
Lokie Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Yeah, I'm with Hippety and Gloria - she may just be socially retreating in order to deal with some depression. I was feeling crappy today and couldn't wait to get home, lock my door, turn on Netflix and turn off my phone. My Mom says it's cause I'm born under the sign of Cancer the crab and I need to go into my shell! Only room for one in there! (The psychology of Facebook fascinates me, BTW. I just had a melt down from a little comment a former fling wrote on a post I made. Seriously. And I'm a grown ass woman!) L :-) 1
Author Dreamworld Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Yes, the girl is nice and innocent, I feel nervousness about this.. and read this story. Sorry, but I can't quite follow this? As to everyone who replied, thanks!! We are just assuming she has moved on. She seems to be active and making new friends in other places and doing other things but still nothing with the whole group she erased. I think she's just trying to forget a really bad time in her life and the group reminds her of that time. Not a great way to end things, but understandable.
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 (edited) I have a friend who occasionally does this as she suffers from depression/anxiety and this is her way of coping with the low of the low. When I don't hear from her, or she does this, I send her a text letting her know that I hope she's well and I care about her. Just simple words sometimes are best. i do this when i am blue i retreat and reflect and fight to pull myself through...my family and friends rally but give me space, if i need them, i know they are there....recently i reached out to someone on their birthday even though i was really blue that day and struggling.......big mistake.......what he said back wasnt right....it was quite cold thoughtless typical male sort of comment......my family dont like him much any more,dont believe he holds true to christian values he professes to have, they got quite upset because i became extremely low ..it isnt his fault i was already low..my friends and family who love me rally as i said.........still here ...its because of them and their ever loving gentle support i knwo is there when i come out of it i cut off entirely for a little while.....i dont hate him or anything but he has the capacity to make me feel like sludge so i avoid as much as i can...self protection against a swinging low..and I have not contacted him since i did leave a group...that he was in and deactivated my face book for a while......my daughter reactivated it, i kept deactivating she kept reactivating then i just gave up and am back on it...dont get on much anyway...its necessary when you get blue to retreat for a while sometimes that means cutting people out for a while especially ones that cause high or mixed emotions....just let your friend know you are there as another poster said simple words of affection and support..that is a true friend.......best wishes....deb Edited October 23, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author Dreamworld Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 May be the reason : No more incriminating photos/statuses, no stumbling across incriminating wall posts may fill your friend head with doubt or negative energies. Hey thanks! I think if she were definitely trying to forget a painful time and the people associated with it, that makes perfect sense. I would be the same way. Even without seeing the posts just seeing their names in the friend list would be painful I'd think.
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