SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Hey Guys, I am another person who is hoping to get his gf back and trying for it. Its been one month to my break up and I am on NC from the day 1. I haven't begged her to come back except sending her two emails on the very same day saying it should not end up this way and it can work out. So basically I called her today and after three rings she put it on voice mail and I left her a voice mail saying. I called just to say hi and see how you doing? and I think break up was the right thing to do and I wish you best and I hope to catch up soon. Now she did not reply at all. She has me blocked on her FB. But she still has me on her skype and she used to be online all the time after the break up but then she was not online past three days. As soon as I left that voice mail she came online on skype. I could take it as a good sign or maybe I am just over thinking. I did not contact her on skype though and just let it be. I now want to know what else should I do to bring that spark back. I love that girl and I am sure she loved me too a lot. I am not sure if she still have feelings for me or not. But I really want this thing back with her as I am sure it can work out. Please guide guys. I wish you all happy moving on Dumpers and Dumpees both, though I don't like dumpers but what can I say I have nothing but love for every one.
Salvatore85 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 It's not going to go like you think it is. She blocked you on FB for a reason and hasn't contacted you for a reason, sadly you're not realizing this. If you truly love her and you definitely want her back then do not contact her again. I know what you're thinking and the reality is she could be sleeping with someone else so just stop thinking about it. Get your emotions under control and start working on yourself. Let go now or you'll never get her back. 2
Never Again Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 There's not much you can do right now except keep to yourself and keep healing. You made an attempt to reconnect. It may have been heavy-handed or she may still harbor negative thoughts. Either way, the ball is in her court now.
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 It's not going to go like you think it is. She blocked you on FB for a reason and hasn't contacted you for a reason, sadly you're not realizing this. If you truly love her and you definitely want her back then do not contact her again. I know what you're thinking and the reality is she could be sleeping with someone else so just stop thinking about it. Get your emotions under control and start working on yourself. Let go now or you'll never get her back. You mean to say by not contacting her at all she will come back?
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 There's not much you can do right now except keep to yourself and keep healing. You made an attempt to reconnect. It may have been heavy-handed or she may still harbor negative thoughts. Either way, the ball is in her court now. Yeah she still has the power in her hand. All I wanted to ask is, will it be right contacting her after a week or so?
JoelBarish Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 There is a post by Barky that you should read. I will bump it for you. Also block or remove her from Skype. If you have any chance of getting back together you have to disappear from her world and focus on you. 2
Salvatore85 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 You mean to say by not contacting her at all she will come back? Either take the advice from someone who's accomplished what you're attempting to or continue on doing what you think will work... I got my ex back by not caring anymore. I blocked her on every outlet and had fun. Hooked back up with my friends that I neglected while I was with her and had a blast. I met a bunch of girls, partied and shockingly got my ex back. The funny thing is I was with a table full of foreign girls when I finally started texting my ex about hanging out again. The confidence I gained from that summer without my ex was amazing. Of course like an idiot I got back with her and it lasted another year before we broke up but it definitely worked lol. 2
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 There is a post by Barky that you should read. I will bump it for you. Also block or remove her from Skype. If you have any chance of getting back together you have to disappear from her world and focus on you. Can you please link me to that post?
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Either take the advice from someone who's accomplished what you're attempting to or continue on doing what you think will work... I got my ex back by not caring anymore. I blocked her on every outlet and had fun. Hooked back up with my friends that I neglected while I was with her and had a blast. I met a bunch of girls, partied and shockingly got my ex back. The funny thing is I was with a table full of foreign girls when I finally started texting my ex about hanging out again. The confidence I gained from that summer without my ex was amazing. Of course like an idiot I got back with her and it lasted another year before we broke up but it definitely worked lol. What did you text her? and after how long? My girl has a lot of ego and self respect issues, she is like one of those girls who never look back after dumping. However she left me once like without saying anything and started dating another guy that time I handled it pretty well and didnt ask her to come back even once and she came back after a while. I didnt do anything that time she was on my FB and all everything. I was just being the person who is nice and don't really care. But this time when it started to happen again I panicked and ended up doing some stupid things like trying to get in her email and see if she is talking to someone else or not which was a deal breaker for her. Since she officially broke up with me this time so I am afraid she is never gonna talk to me again. Not sure if someone can come back from there?
JoelBarish Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Here, from Barky I see alot of the same things being said, alot of the same questions are being asked so I want everyone to read this thread if you've just been broken up with, desire your ex back ect The first question everyone asks in a huge panic WHAT CAN I DO?! The very simple answer and I want you to re read this after you read it NOTHING!!! There is NO magical cure. You have to realise this, begging and pleading won't get you anywherw...OK wait maybe it will,maybe they do come back....OUT OF GUILT AND THEY WILL BE GONE AGAIN A SHORT TIME AFTER. You need to face reality, that yes, your relationship has ended. Its over. OK. So now we get that down....please...if you have still any doubts I want you to re read it before reading on. So now, what the heck do I do? You drop off the face of the earth and you COMPLETELY focus every bit of your being into making yourself happy again. No one can make you happy but yourself. NOONE. Go to the gym, hangout with family and friend...do not sit in the house You have no idea how important that is to get ur buns off the couch or out of bed. The world is beautiful. Every single member on here, past and present has been thru a heart break....as have I. I know the pain. I fought it for so long. Until I saw the light that everyone on Ls was screaming at me. LET GO. NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL CHANGE THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW. OK so pressing on. Undoubtedly you've begged and pleaded and it didn't work. Duh. Stop now. Pick up ur balls or boobs and face the demons fighting and haunting you....get mad! Go look in the mirror and say bring it on! Scream!! Cry!! Let it out!!! So what happens if you've been dumped, they start seeing someone ect. Big freakin deal. Wait what? Yea who gives a crap. Sex is just that sex. They don't have a emotional bond like you guys who. My ex came back, that was the first thing she said, it was better with you because we made love...just didn't knock skins. Now I'm not saying to do what I did, ( I went out and got some the min I found out she was with someone just so i in my crazy head figured wed be even) but it did help later down the road. You have to realise something, what they are now getting is the physical fun part of the relationship....they are missing the emotional aide that you've always provided. The inevitable BREACRUMB. HI how are you I miss u I love you blah blah blah SHUT IT. Do not respond...its so critical you do not give them a damn inch on this. Most people ask how long do rebounds last. One person gave me the best answer..." could be the first burp or fart ...or 100years". Don't sit down and wait on it, it could last forever. My rebound lasted a month while my ex pulled nc on me...it drove me nuts. I realized who I really loved. My (ex's) rebound lasted 3 months...BC I begged and sat around, she admitted to me if I left her alone she would have come back sooner. You guys, you need to LEAVE THEM ALONE AND FOCUS ON YOURSELF. I ONLY GOT MINE BACK AFTER LETTING GO, LEAVING IT TO A HIGHER POWER , GOT MYSELF HAPPY AGAIN. Exs know when your pulling away, even when you haven't talked to them in a long time. They feel it. The MINUTE I walked out of a bar with my buddies and was truly happy, the minute I got in my car my phone rang....it HAPPENS like that. So now...I want you to trust and believe me....the ONLY way to get them back is to leave them the hell alone, get out of your depression , get back that confident person they fell inlove with. God someone should buy my ebook. All kidding aside tho...that's the trick. And you know what? Even if they don't come back, you are so close to healed ...someone you don't even know, you will love them just as much or MORE than your ex. Don't worry....they always come back. But when? Could be years man, so do what you want...but I sure as hell didn't wait. The reason I posted this, is because I came back after awhile, to pay it forward to people who helped me when I was down. But it seems like I'm saying the same thing over and over again. Threads after thread. LET THEM GO AND GET YOUR HAPPY SELF BACK. ONE SIZE FITS ALL. DO NOT CONTACT THEM! WHEN THEY ARE READY THEY WILL CONTACT YOU. NOTHING IS SEXY ABOUT YOUR PHONE BLOWING UP AND NEEDYNESS. NOTHING. In closing, I want you to take a deep breath, everything will be fine. I give you my word, from the bottom of my heart...you will be OK. Go for a walk. Start a thread. Help out other members....LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! THEY WANT YOU GONE? GOOD BITE ME, YOU GOT YOUR WISH. Thank you to everyone who's ever helped me here, and when people reply to your posts, don't take offense to it. They really are trying to help. " THIS TOO SHALL PASS" I have it tattoo'd on me for a reason. Barky 9
barky2 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 How to get the spark back? Very simple...it truly is. What were you like when you first started talking to her? What was your swagger like? Cool,confident,happy ect Truly think about it Close your eyes and think about what you were like, clothes attitude ect And what are you like now? Take that picture in your head of what you were, now go look in the mirror. See what I'm getting at? Your sad,miserable ,down and out Who Wants that? No women does. Work on fixing your happiness because in the end that's what you were when you met , happy. You're the opposite right now. And I'm telling you man, she wants no part of the post broken up you. As I stated, and I'm flattered my thread was posted here for you to read, but it's true....leave her the hell alone,focus on your happiness and what makes you happy. I've said it a few times, I traveled ,partied hard I'll even make you laugh, I had a contract in front of me to go on vh1 for kind of like the bachelor....I auditioned,they called,flew to la, had the contract Infront of me,and I turned it down. (wasn't worth losing my job) Find your true happiness. That's the magic secret Get happy and many doors will open. Barky 1
emi Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 There is no 100% guaratee that your ex will come back or not. During time apart, many things can happen, it all change. Sometime it changes for what you want ( something happens, she realizes what she lost) or she met someone, and their relationship work out Thing is : none of it is your decision or you can do anything to alternate it. Thats why you need to move on. If she come back, Great. IF not, you wont be sorry your held on your hope and been miserable for so long. I know its hurt but its how it is 1
cavalier99 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Dude! What are you doing? She ISNT coming back EVER. Time to man up. 1st step is to change you user name to. ITISOVER! This would be a proactive step in your healing. You need to change what your doing NOW or your going to miserable for a very very long time. Kill all hope! Rock on! Cav 2
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 How to get the spark back? Very simple...it truly is. What were you like when you first started talking to her? What was your swagger like? Cool,confident,happy ect Truly think about it Close your eyes and think about what you were like, clothes attitude ect And what are you like now? Take that picture in your head of what you were, now go look in the mirror. See what I'm getting at? Your sad,miserable ,down and out Who Wants that? No women does. Work on fixing your happiness because in the end that's what you were when you met , happy. You're the opposite right now. And I'm telling you man, she wants no part of the post broken up you. As I stated, and I'm flattered my thread was posted here for you to read, but it's true....leave her the hell alone,focus on your happiness and what makes you happy. I've said it a few times, I traveled ,partied hard I'll even make you laugh, I had a contract in front of me to go on vh1 for kind of like the bachelor....I auditioned,they called,flew to la, had the contract Infront of me,and I turned it down. (wasn't worth losing my job) Find your true happiness. That's the magic secret Get happy and many doors will open. Barky How long did it took you guys to get over your ex?
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 I have been going to therapy and really feel the change and know what exactly went wrong in the relation. I was wondering should I tell her that I really have a better understanding of things now.
JoelBarish Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 I have been going to therapy and really feel the change and know what exactly went wrong in the relation. I was wondering should I tell her that I really have a better understanding of things now. No, don't tell her because it won't matter. I thought things over after my break up and I talked to my ex just over a week after the break. I took responsibility for my part in things, told her what I would have done differently and it didn't matter to her AT ALL. Why? Because she had already made up her mind that the relationship was over. If your ex is ever going to come back it has to be because she made up her mind to and no amount of convincing is going to make up her mind for her. However, you got to prepare for the very real possibility that she may never come back. Focus on yourself, heal and don't contact her at all. Move on with your life.
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 No, don't tell her because it won't matter. I thought things over after my break up and I talked to my ex just over a week after the break. I took responsibility for my part in things, told her what I would have done differently and it didn't matter to her AT ALL. Why? Because she had already made up her mind that the relationship was over. If your ex is ever going to come back it has to be because she made up her mind to and no amount of convincing is going to make up her mind for her. However, you got to prepare for the very real possibility that she may never come back. Focus on yourself, heal and don't contact her at all. Move on with your life. Is there anyway I can send you a personal message here?
JoelBarish Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Is there anyway I can send you a personal message here? You can only PM when certain conditions are met on the forum. I think you have to have a certain number of posts and be a member for at least a month.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Its over. Until you come to the realization that she isnt coming back (contrary to your screen name) then you will continue to shoot yourself in your own foot.
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 I am devastated guys, I cannot sleep proper, I feel like my whole world is gone and I feel suicidal
Birdsnest Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Yes there is no magical cure to get a lady (or bloke) back. You two broke up for a reason. Yes some people DO get back together but from what you have said she is giving clear signs that she wants space right now. Think about what went wrong- why did things end? Are these things going to change? Sometimes people are just not suited. I am so sorry for your pain, I remember a few years ago I was desperately posting on sites trying to figure out how to 'win' my ex back. Now I can see that we were not at all right for each other...and how much I was damaging myself by refusing to let go. 2
headinthecloud Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Sometimes people are just not suited. I'm finding this ^^ one of the hardest things to accept because I loved him (still do) for all the qualities and talents that were so opposite to me. But I know I must accept it and move on. We can't work because we have fundamental differences in what we believe. Now I can see that we were not at all right for each other...and how much I was damaging myself by refusing to let go. Very true! But my heart is having trouble letting go. In those moments when I can't seem to see things clearly, as they were not as I wanted them to be, I reread Barky's post about the broken hearted and remind myself that the world IS beautiful and there are millions of people out there and someone better suited. But if I sit in front of a computer and don't go out in the world, how can I expect to meet anyone? OP, you deserve someone who loves all of you, unconditionally. And she's out there. You have to believe in, and be confident in, the wonderful things you bring to a relationship. Be resilient. Reject her for her not seeing what a great guy she had and let go of. It's her loss. You deserve someone who sees this. It will take time to heal so be kind to yourself. This too shall pass.
headinthecloud Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 (edited) I am devastated guys, I cannot sleep proper, I feel like my whole world is gone and I feel suicidal If you're really struggling then call a crisis centre, they are anonymous. You should also go to a doctor immediately and tell them you're having trouble coping with a loss. They will help you. You're not alone. You will get through this. Your mind is spinning out of control, try to calm yourself. Try this breathing exercise: Take six slow but deep breaths in (fill your lungs); 1. Hold your breath for six seconds (Six Mississippi's); 2. Slowly release your breath for six seconds /Mississippi's (until your lungs are empty). 3. Repeat six times. Try to get out of the house, go to gym, go for a walk, move your body and channel all that energy into bettering yourself. Make a plan to get super fit and healthy. Start with you. Post here as much or as often as you like. We love you and are here for you. Be strong! Edited October 13, 2013 by headinthecloud 1
reddragon588 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I am devastated guys, I cannot sleep proper, I feel like my whole world is gone and I feel suicidal Please call 1-800-273-8255 or visit SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain. immediately!
Author SheWillComeBack Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 I'm finding this ^^ one of the hardest things to accept because I loved him (still do) for all the qualities and talents that were so opposite to me. But I know I must accept it and move on. We can't work because we have fundamental differences in what we believe. Very true! But my heart is having trouble letting go. In those moments when I can't seem to see things clearly, as they were not as I wanted them to be, I reread Barky's post about the broken hearted and remind myself that the world IS beautiful and there are millions of people out there and someone better suited. But if I sit in front of a computer and don't go out in the world, how can I expect to meet anyone? OP, you deserve someone who loves all of you, unconditionally. And she's out there. You have to believe in, and be confident in, the wonderful things you bring to a relationship. Be resilient. Reject her for her not seeing what a great guy she had and let go of. It's her loss. You deserve someone who sees this. It will take time to heal so be kind to yourself. This too shall pass. So I sent her that email yesterday and she contacted me on skype today asking me how I am doing and all. Then she said she gotta go and she will message me later. Is this a good sign?
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