Break Up After 5 years

[zaccles]

Hey People.

Let me tell you my story.

 

I'm a 19 year old guy and I turn 20 in 10 days.

I met my girlfriend ( well ex girlfriend, im so used to calling her my girlfriend ) when I was in year 8 at high school.

I had dated girls before, a lot actually throughout primary school and high school but nothing serious and no sex.

 

We became best friends quite quickly, I used to talk to her about guys she would see and I would be there for her like any best friend would.

 

It was new years eve in 2008 and we all went to a friends house for a party, we were kissing and making out on the lounge and yeah, 3 days later on january 3rd I asked her officially to be my girlfriend.

 

We were known by all our friends and family as the cutest couple, inseparable, perfect, high school sweethearts..

We spent nearly everyday together we were madly in-love.

 

I had chances prior to her to lose my virginity but was always to shy or "fridget".

I lost my virginity to her a few weeks later.. however she had lost hers to a guy a few months earlier who afterwards didn't care about her. And then had sex with one of his friends a week or 2 later.

This really effected me in a way because I was in love with her at this point and til this day hate the fact that we didnt lose our virginity to eachother.

 

After one year of being together, I got extremely drunk and high at a party, my girlfriend went home that night and I ended up having sex with a random girl at this party..

I told her the next day what I had done and she was devastated.

 

She eventually forgiven me a few days later and said she loves me and mistakes happen and everyone deserves a second chance.

 

Time went on another happy 2 years went by and then the same thing happened except this time I got drunk and high and had sex with one of her close friends.

This was a lot harder for her to take and our relationship was nearly over by this point.

Some reason some how she STILL forgiven me once again, we we were all still good friends and put it behind us, however she would always bring up the past in arguments and whenever I thought she had done something wrong or been flirting with a guy she would always use as an excuse " Atleast im not having sex with them like you did" "Atleast i never cheated on you" etc etc.

 

Since having sex with the 2nd girl who was our good friend, we eventually a few months ago actually had a threesome, me my girlfriend and this girl.

We were a lot more comfortable about everything and there were no hard feelings.

 

In the last 6 months, our relationship was getting worse and worse. She would always come over my house to see me and I would always be playing my PC. I Would spend time with her and lay with her and watch movies but 90% of the time there was nothing to talk about or do so I just played games. She became quickly addicted to going into town and to nightclubs, she loved going out socialising dancing and getting drunk, and I didnt really enjoy it. I dont see a nightclub a place for a couple, I prefer restaurants and beaches and other nice things. Nightclubs are full of sleezy guys and sluts, a place to get drunk and have a 1 night stand.

 

In the last 2 months, we were having sex at my house after drinking that night, she told me to stop and that it was hurting or she didn't feel okay, she never says anything like that and I knew she just didn't want to have sex, I thought there was someone else and that she wasnt attracted to me anymore, we argued and argued and it got violent. I would never hit a woman in my life especially one I love, we just started pushing eachother and she was slapping me and I wasn't letting her out of my room until we talked this out.. She ended up saying to me that she wants to leave and she doesn't want to be with me anymore, and I couldn't take it, I was extremely intoxicated and I started to tear up her sexy underwear and jeans and clothes I wouldn't want any other guy seeing her in. I ruined about $200 worth of clothes, she then came in and seen that and poured beer all over me and my bed... I then broke down crying my eyes out asking her to say and i'm sorry and I will replace everything and telling her how much I love her.

 

After it all cooled down, she waited for her mother to come pick her up, I was sitting next to her on the stairs waiting with her to get picked up, I asked her does she still love me and she said yes.

We have broken up since this night, we both went out the next day and went home with different people, a rebound if you call it that.

 

However we still talk everyday, she still says she loves me and I definitely still love her.

 

I've tried every single day since this night to see her and be nice to her and love her, I've told her I am different and I can change, I wont spend time on the PC, I will go out with her more and do things, I will replace all her stuff I ruined, just give me one more chance!

She's giving me 2 chances before when I cheated on her.

She says I've hurt her too many times, I've ****ed up too many times.

I see her at nightclubs, she isn't with other guys she doesn't kiss or want other guys, she says she loves me she just doesn't want to be with anyone, she said she needed space a while ago. I haven't spent a night with her since, I just want to lie with her and hold her and look after her. She's my life my everything ever since I was a young kid in school.

 

I text and try to see her everyday but she never wants to see me, she hasn't been with other guys since we split up and she doesn't want to. I got told a guy tried to sleep with her the other day but she kicked him out and said **** off.

 

I love this girl, what do I do?

Should I stop smothering her and texting her everyday, I feel like she has me wrapped around her finger and she's playing hard to get like she knows ill be here waiting like a puppy dog for her to come back to me, and in the meantime she can have fun with this.

 

She loves me she tells me she does, she just won't see me or want to do anything with me at the moment.

What do I do?

Do you think she will come back?

 

Any advice or comment would be appreciated.

[Chi townD]

Wow! How to address this train wreck.

 

Okay, you cheated on her twice and she joined you in a threesome with one of the girls you cheated on her with. So, you've had sex three times to someone else you were not committed to. She wants to leave and things get violent. You destroy her clothes and she sprays you and your bed with beer. Plus, you two were putting your hands on each other in anger.

 

You break up and each of you screw someone else the VERY next night. PLUS! You two are in your teenage years.

 

Dude, this relationship is WAY TOO toxic and it would probably be wise just to let her go and walk away. Not to be mean, But I think that the two of you aren't old enough to be in this serious of a relationship. I take it that you guys are each others first love. Well, I'm pretty sure that myself and a couple of mature folks will tell you, you will rarely see people marry their first loves.

[Criticality]

Wait wait... You'll replace the clothes you tore IF she gets back with you?

 

I really hope I'm reading that wrong!

 

Anyways, yup she's done with you. At least for now. Back off and give her space is the only way you'll ever have a chance with her again, though I really doubt the latter will happen.

 

She wants to be free and play the field for awhile. Who can blame her.

 

Just the fact that she likes going to clubs, and you see them as a place for "sleazy guys and sluts" is perhaps a cue that you two aren't the best couple...

[kirauzumaki]

It's people like you that really anger me.................... I would never do anything such as that to my Ex but yet she left me because i had bad communication issues along with depression.......