peaksandvalleys Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I was reading on the other forum about what the AP knows about the BS. What do you know about the AP? I know that she is an engineeris 41has two children who live with herlives two doors down from her parentshas had at least 1 other affairshe is up for a promotionthat she likes to live beyond her meansthat she has filed for bankruptcy beforethat she has been sued for breach of contract.she is going to regret a lot of things really soon. 3
ChooseTruth Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Hah. He works at the same company as me..so I know his job title, rank, office #, coworkers' names(and all their info too), manager's name. I can see that his is in his office right now at his computer(via IM, not with my eyes). I can tell when he's in a meeting or on the phone. I've met him and talked with him so I know what he looks and sounds like. I know his address, phone #s, his wife's cell phone# and 3 of his email addresses. I know who his friends are and his dojo. I know he's having trouble with R over a year after Dday. I know private details about his family from reading what he told my ex. I know his kids hobbies, his hobbies, etc, etc. I know that he's the kind of guy who would pursue another man's wife while married with kids himself, and that he's done that. I know that he Fed my wife in hotels, in the dojo after hours, and in his truck. I know I could call his BW anytime and she would probably tell me whatever else I wanted to know about what's going with them. But I'm divorced(99%) so I don't really give a flying leap about any of this anymore. 1
HopingAgain Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Things I know about OW: She still lives with her Mother in her mid 30's She smokes a lot of Weed and drinks like a fish She recently broke up with her Kids Dad and was on the rebound She pursued my H (no seriously, she did) and got really clingy after Dday and NC
underwater2010 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 All of the following things I learned via facebook, pinterest, myspace and her BH (who defended her) 1. She is my age 2. She is a serial cheater (at least 5 affairs) 3. She states that she lives for her family and kids 4. She is pushing 200 pounds, but her original facebook pic was from high school/college and I thought she was very pretty. 5. She was abused as a child 6. Her mother was not a good influence on her 7. She doesn't mind sending dirty pics/videos, but they were not made for my husband. 8. She has two kids. 9. She has a husband that truly loves her. 10. She is just getting back into the work force. 11. By outing her, she was busted for at least 3 other affairs. 12. My husband was not special to her, just one of three she was carrying on with at once. 13. That she is described to be very much like me, but I live the family values where she tosses them away with affairs. I really tried not to be snarky and keep to the facts. 1
yellowmaverick Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I know that the OW is my past, not my present or future. Anything else I know about her is irrelevant. 7
TheOW Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Yawn So all BS's think nasty horrible thing about the OW and the OW thinks the same about BS Seriously u could not make this up Here's my deal the BS is attractive, funny, a really nice and good overall woman not crazy not ugly etc etc just a normal woman And me as the horrid sneaky conniving ow is believe it or not exactly the same as her, who unfortunately lost her way for a while. 7
cozycottagelg Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 16. Since DDay her aunt died, her dog died, her mom died, and her sister contracted cancer. Karma is a MOTHER F*****R, but she still acts like life has dealt her a raw deal. Um..this is unnecessary to blame "karma"....I am guessing even her own family doesn't blame her bad decisions on the reasons family members have died or contracted cancer.
TheOW Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Quote: Originally Posted by seethingandsmiling 16. Since DDay her aunt died, her dog died, her mom died, and her sister contracted cancer. Karma is a MOTHER F*****R, but she still acts like life has dealt her a raw deal. That has to be the worst thing I have ever read on here, I actually don't believe the things u wrote about her at all. 2
HopingAgain Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Yawn So all BS's think nasty horrible thing about the OW and the OW thinks the same about BS Seriously u could not make this up Here's my deal the BS is attractive, funny, a really nice and good overall woman not crazy not ugly etc etc just a normal woman And me as the horrid sneaky conniving ow is believe it or not exactly the same as her, who unfortunately lost her way for a while. It seems like you have a healthy perspective on things, you aren't comparing yourself to her or putting her down, etc. I think that is great and a good sign that you are healing well! 1
HopingAgain Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I know that the OW is my past, not my present or future. Anything else I know about her is irrelevant. Agreed. The less OW is thought of or made into a factor of the marriage post affair, the better! 1
HopingAgain Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Yeah. I've never understood why an OW would hate a BS. All a BS did was meet and marry the person you decided you wanted to have sex with, and he/she did this before you were in the picture. Hating someone that you are actively helping to destroy simply for living their life is a bit, well, disgusting if you ask me. Then again, I was just called a liar by a woman that cheated on her husband with someone else's husband, so who am I to say, right? She's right about one thing - you can't make this stuff up. I think there is a lot of hurt to go around on threads like these because it makes one thing clear: the MM or MW was discussing the BS and OW/OMs man lives with eachother. Its a betrayal of trust and confidences on both sides and so I can understand why passions flare on these threads. What I CAN'T understand is why OW get so surprised and taken aback at discovering their MM is just who he has portrayed himself to be: a disloyal cheater who will say what he needs to in order to save his own skin and manipulate the situation depending on who he is talking to. 3
dichotomy Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 The basics - appearance, voice, age, name, home address and phone, email, education, work place address and phone, his hobbies and activities, gym he works out at, basic things WW has shared including his nature and ways of thinking, ex wife name... and his amazon "wish list" people should really learn to turn on the privacy setting for that 1
yellowmaverick Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Agreed. The less OW is thought of or made into a factor of the marriage post affair, the better! Well, I didn't say that I kept my H.:laugh: The OW was not a factor in our marriage, but she was very much a factor in the cheating and deceit of both me and her own family. 2
Betterthanthis13 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Hmm. There were so many. I don't really give a rats ass about their details. What I do know: Age range 18ish to 65ish. All shapes and sizes. The only thing they have in common is that they were willing to meet up with a stranger from the Internet based on a few texts and a couple nasty pictures to have sex. At least a few of them got paid, but most did it for free. The one girl I know personally from my old gym is 35ish and lives off her parents and drives a Hummer. And she seriously needs to do something about her hair. And she's been arrested twice, once for fraud and once for assault. I only know all that because she told me when her and xbf were "friends". I don't need any more information. Just never want to run into her again. She makes my skin crawl.
Author peaksandvalleys Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Yawn So all BS's think nasty horrible thing about the OW and the OW thinks the same about BS Seriously u could not make this up Here's my deal the BS is attractive, funny, a really nice and good overall woman not crazy not ugly etc etc just a normal woman And me as the horrid sneaky conniving ow is believe it or not exactly the same as her, who unfortunately lost her way for a while. I doubt that very seriously since many have posted her they don't hold OW responsible for anything. I not only did not say anything nasty about her but my feelings about her are less than kind, gentle or pleasant. 1
HtotheN Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Every word I wrote is true. If you want her FB page, I'll pm it to you if that's allowed her. I didn't do any of these things to her family. My point is she sits back and acts as if she is some poor innocent that can't find love. Meanwhile, she is trying to steal husbands, cheating on the man that took her and her children in (that she was obviously using) and acting like a teenager with her self shots begging for attention and calling herself an actor. She did have a DNA test on kid #1. Her BH told me that in our first conversation. Why did that come up? Because I told him how the two of them knew each other - many years before they both lived in Atlanta, and she got pregnant and claimed the kid was my H's (I didn't know him at this point). Her sister spilled the beans on her real due date and he realized it wasn't his kid. He left town AFTER the baby was born, but was completely done with her when the sister told the real due date. She caught hepatitis. My H told me this WHILE he was in the EA. Sick huh? I've posted about this before. He would laugh about her to me, and then go outside and call her. When I found the FB chats, she told my H about her hepatitis. I read it myself. She also wrote about how, when she went to Atlanta to F my husband, she went under the guise of letting child number 2 meet her real dad (again, nice girl huh?) So she brings her daughter to a hook up with my husband under the guise of meeting her real dad. I read the FB chats about this where she's saying how he's 'still all strung out'. What more do you want to know about her? And you shouldn't call people liars. It isn't nice. Just because you want all OW to be nice people that made one mistake doesn't make it so. Let me know if you want her FB page. You have to agree to just look, and not say anything to her. I don't need her coming back into my life for any reason. I would like to see that FB page. LOL
HtotheN Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Well there have been multiple OWs so I will concentrate on a few: The (former) church secretary She lost her job after I forwarded emails to the church pastor so she USED TO BE a church secretary. She is obese She is tall She is articulate She is outgoing Except for about five people, everyone else detested her at church way before she was outed for her involvement with my husband She is a hypocrite and had the nerve to talk about God bringing the two of them together (BARF!) She was frustrated in her career choices before this happened; I am sure that her forced resignation didn't help matters She is not as good of a singer as she believes herself to be (many have said that) She screwed my husband on church property )including the high school classroom) so how great of a person could she be? She clucks like a chicken when she laughs She lost her way and I hope that she finds it The married coworker She lied to me repeatedly, swearing that it was over but yet said "I love you" in text messages to him months after it was "over" She is unhappy in her marriage She is truly homely She thinks that she has me fooled She let my husband into her home and marital bed in the wee hours of the morning so that she could him suck him off before work, while her kindergarten-age daughter slept down the hallway in her room, all while her trucker hubby was working hard Her family would die if they knew The (former) church friend of mine She is quite intelligent She is kind and helpful She is naive She is quite homely and I actually thought that she was gay (not that only ugly women are gay, just sayin that she really had that vibe) She was actually married in the past but her husband died (didn't know that until after d-day) I think a great deal of her parents and pray that they never find out what she did She is the only one who is truly sorry I miss her friendship but could never be friends with her again
waterwoman Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 She's 26, slim, blonde, quite pretty, has 2 lovely kids, married to a man that may or may not be abusive to her, has had 2 affairs with married older men including my H, she is clever, funny and really quite nice. We are both quiet and gentle people. I thought she and I could be friends, I was happy to be so... but stuff got in the way. Now I feel sick and shaky when I catch sight of her and I suspect she feels the same. I wish things had been different <shrug> C'est la vie. When I think of her as the OW I feel anger, when I think of her as T I don't. This whole thing is just so unnatural for me.
NotInProvence Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Hmmm.... She is about my age. She is taller and considerably heavier than I am, and people who have met both of us say I am far prettier. She says she will only work for non-profits, although I have seen her résumé and it says otherwise; she is constantly un- or under-employed. Legally, she doesn't exist! I was helping her look for a job, and um...no sign of such a person ANYWHERE. (My job for several years required research, so I do know how to dig.) She is manipulative and loves drama. She is a compulsive liar. Realizing that last meant realizing neither my ex nor I knew anything! Oh wait, one more: She is single again, unless she has found a new target (very likely since she seems to be a serial parasite). Shortly after I left him, my ex told her to take the next bus to h***.
Amy2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 OH dear, what I know... She is 2 years younger than I am. Has 2 children (age 5 and 2). Is still married, but it's strained (her husband sleeps on the couch). Her sister lives with her. She likes the same music, etc. as my husband. She is in the same field as my husband. She is interviewing to work with my husband and travel with him. She knows I know. Her anniversary is a week before mine (which happens to be time frame everything went down). She runs marathons. That I have never met her and I hate her. 1
ladydesigner Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 MOW is 27 years old (25 at the time of the A). She has dark hair, short and slim. She used to work for my WH. She is currently unemployed. She is a single mom (her BS kicked her out after my exposure). She has a young daughter. She was never nice or polite to me. She is desperate for attention. She always needs to 'one-up' in any conversation you have with her. She is a very calculated and abusive person and has called me many names, while I have held my composure with her (I have not held my composure with WH). She has used my private info (thanks WH) against me, and called me a 'cutter' over and over again to try and bring me down.
Betrayed&Stayed Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) and his amazon "wish list" people should really learn to turn on the privacy setting for that Brilliant. Now I know that the ex-OM was looking for a new $1500 grill this past summer. That was too easy. I know the basics plus some. I'm pretty good at cyber-sleuthing: Full Name Age Address/phone Hometown email Wife's name, career info, HS/College, hometown 2 kids Job HS/College Property tax public info Facebook page (which he locked down tight 1 hour after I sent his wife a message years ago) His wife makes the big bucks compared to him His circle of friends overlap slightly with one of my siblings Edited October 17, 2013 by Betrayed&Stayed
Spark1111 Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I know everything: She wanted my life with my man but wasn't willing to earn it. Respect is earned over a lifetime of integrity and honesty. it cannot be married 'into.' She was just slightly younger and not thinner. She may have been as educated and as successful professionally.....but not many friends, not many female friends, KWIM? My H was not her first or last affair with a MM....She used each relationship to attain her next stepping stone in her personal goals which were mostly amassing enough wealth, status and property to feel confident and secure. She claimed her xH had many affairs....He claims she did. he married his last AP in a TRUE exit affair and two kids later, they seem really happy. She is still un married or unattached.....unless it is another MM and being kept secret. She absolutely HATES my guts, my children, and professed to hate my H two weeks after she tried to reinitiating the A with my H almost 2.5 years AFTER DDAY. I guess single, available men bored her. I don't like her. (Thought I would). I don't respect her. We would NEVER be friends. I just sorta feel sorry for her....and women like her.... I work with one...Sad, really.
seren Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Based upon her actions towards me I know we would never be friends. That as a person I didn't like her, we are polar opposites. I know that she is in the past, I truly hope she finds peace as she continues to live a. chaotic life. I also think, generally, that pink sparkly eye shadow isn't a good look on anyone.
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