howtodeall Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Well 10 months after breakup I have burned every bridge with this woman and killed any chance of recobcilliarion by being smothering not letting go. Never went NC and talked as much as when were together. Now she's done with it all and has cut me off completely. I don't blame her but I am now coming to terms with the fact it is 100% done no chance of a future together. They way I've acted and changed for the worse has sealed my date. I'm entering my 30s and feel like I am so lost. I don't know what I want out of my life and where I am going. Most of ny friends are in ltr, engaged , and moving forward while I feel so incredibly stuck. I don't know where to go from here now that she is totally done and it scares me. I know I have to focus on my self and getting my life together but I contstsntlybdwell on the past, and worry about the future. This 10 month breakuo Sith constant cobtact really crippled me emotionally. I feel like I have no dignity or self respect and never followed through with the NC and bettering myself. It was always about her and that is the very reason why any reconcilliation failed. How do u get over all the regret and self loathing and be happy again. I feel so behind in life now and that I've wasted the last year of my life. The last year if my twenties , just sucks. At least I'm finally accepting it's really over, sonething I hadn't done before. But now I'm experiencing all the feelings associated with that.
Author howtodeall Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) I guess I just have to focus on myself for a while but I feel so behind in life, financially socially, professionally. I realized I needed this girl for validation and now that I don't her in my life anymore I don't like what is left. I've never really dealt with depression before but I am not vvery optimistic about my future. I havnt been taking care of myself at all in terms of nutrition, chain smoking, and sleep. I know I've needed to snap out of this for months and it for months. She was still in my life up until last week and I pushed her away with my attitude and behavior. I'm just really down right now and regret not handling it like a man. I feel like a teenager in a mans body. I know what I have to do. I just have to snap out of it but I havnt been able to. The only time I've been really happy the last ten months is when I'm with her. I think I have some serious attachment issues. Edited October 11, 2013 by howtodeall
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I contstsntlybdwell on the past, and worry about the future. These are the 2 worst things you can do. Please read: 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. Through his writings, he explains how damaging this is and how to limit or completely stop doing it. Sounds like it may be of help to you!!
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I realized I needed this girl for validation and now that I don't her in my life anymore I don't like what is left. This I can speak to from direct experience. This may be due to your inability to set/maintain boundaries, and low self-esteem/self-worth. Another book you may want to check out, is 'Toxic Parents' by Susan Forward. Use this time to really dig deep in yourself and make some positive changes. You will never be happy with someone else if you aren't happy with yourself first. And, you will never receive validation or approval from somebody else. This can ONLY come form within. Again, I speak from experience as I am in the same boat my friend
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