LolaOF Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I've known this guy for about 4 years, we knew about each others existence because i went out with a couple of his friends in my younger days... We started talking about 3 months ago and started dating. We have never really talked about our relationship or feelings, we just kept talking and being flirty, but we are officially dating because i've heard it from his friends vice versa... Both of our schedules are hectic and we both have other priorities such as college, so we haven't really seen each other that much. I'm actually pretty weird when it comes to dating, because every time I go out with a man I really do like i always keep myself from showing too vulnerable, if i ever do, or too interested, if that makes sense... Anyways, we went out on a date about 4 days ago, it was a small gathering he had at his house, so i met his family and it was the first time I ever felt like he was finally demonstrating me his intentions were of a more committed relationship. He was a real gentleman, was always asking me if i was feeling ok, but unfortunately I was pretty tired and was not very talkative or showing him that i was having fun. In his house was one of his friends that also happens to be my ex sort of, and I ended up talking to him a considerable amount of time until it was time to go back to my house. I'm not actually sure if the guy I'm dating got jealous or was aware of this, but by the time he brought me back home he acted distant and I noticed it so decided to text him first the next day. He didn't answer. I freaked out so I sent him another text at night saying 'fine don't answer, i really don't understand', since I had seen his last seen connection and it was pretty obvious he ignored my text. The next day he sent me a text, which I answered but afterwards it took him the whole day to text me back apologizing for not answering to my response saying that it had been a very busy day for him. I told him that it was ok, it had been a busy day for me as well. No answer. By the fourth day of this behavior of his I decided to text him asking him about some event he had today that i knew was important for him and although he answered in a nice manner i can tell theres something off about all of this. Did he lose interest? Is he trying to get an emotional response from me ? Is he playing hard to get? I want him back, help me please ):
ForeverHopeful1 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Well when you show more interest in your ex than you do the guy youre dating who is clearly trying to get you to meet his family, "Im tired and dont look like Im having fun, but I will mingle with my ex," doesnt go over well Bad move. I dont blame him for pulling back. He has no idea where your head is at. Stop playing these games. If you like him, show him that. Dont dilly dally around the subject. Stop playing the "I really like you but Im gonna pretend I dont" game.
WhiteButton Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Lola how about stooping for a second take deep breath and using "Enter" button to create space in your paragraph. Lord have mercy that was tough to go through!
tlegend Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Let me summarize this: 1) He invites you over to meet his FAMILY. 2) You are/act like you aren't having fun, you're tired, and on top of all that, you go and hang out with your ex? To be perfectly honest, if I didn't know you on a personal level, and just started dating you, I would kick you to the curb for doing this as well. First impressions to FAMILY is sooooo important, we don't go introducing anyone to our family. You basically **** in his face. You took a big ex-poop and **** in his face. I would definitely be a little more apologetic if you want ANY chance with this guy. Oh, and don't ****ing talk to your ex all night when your man clearly wanted you to be involved in the WHOLE POINT OF THE GATHERING. 1
Author LolaOF Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 hahaha sorry about the spaces (: and thank you so much for your posts, they were so helpful to help me realize this whole situation, what would you suggest to show him I really like him? He hasnt even mentioned anything about me talking to my ex so would it be safe to assume it and tell him i'm sorry if i hurt him in any way?
tlegend Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 hahaha sorry about the spaces (: and thank you so much for your posts, they were so helpful to help me realize this whole situation, what would you suggest to show him I really like him? He hasnt even mentioned anything about me talking to my ex so would it be safe to assume it and tell him i'm sorry if i hurt him in any way? How about you apologize for what you feel you did wrong. What do you feel? Saying your sorry about something just to gain his affection again means you aren't really sorry for what happened, and are oblivious to why he's even mad at you. If this situation was in reverse, and he acted like a bum at YOUR family gathering that YOU put together for HIM, and he hung out with his ex all night instead of YOU, what would you want to hear from HIM? After you consider that, maybe you might be heading in the right direction. I'm sorry if I come off as harsh or an ass, but I feel very strongly about this kind of thing, and if this were to happen to me, I would honestly consider it such an insult that I would be hesitant to even continue a relationship with you.
Author LolaOF Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 you are completely right, thank you so much for your advise, i will apologize and will keep you posted (: 1
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