Author RTBP Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 You said that you got paid! Holy cow man! You feel like you got justice bc another guy f** your wife and you got money for it? i'd sooner give that money to a hit man to kill the guy that f** my wife. I do not understand your kind. Ok tough guy what would you have done? I expose to her family, she on her own accord exposed further, she agreed to counseling, she agreed to a post nup, she agree to and passed a polygraph, she has eagerly complied with everything I have asked of her. As for her boss, I got him fired and I cost him his relationship with his girlfriend (who I didn't know about at the time), not much else I could have done to him, I would if I could. He's been divorced for over 15 yrs and his children are close to my age and have a bad relationship with him. So seriously what more could I have done to him short of beating him to death? Would not need or want to hire anyone else to do that to him. Enough chest pounding. 1
Author RTBP Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 I don't know why you say it's a "weird case" - I'm struck by how typical it is. Calling it "weird" is something you do to protect yourself; to justify her cheating so it doesn't seem as ugly as it actually is. It also helps justify why you have decided to stay with a cheater. I mean, it's not like she really cheated, right? It was this weird case... Oh yes she really did cheat. I am not giving her a pass for it and yes I do realize how ugly what she did was. I wouldn't say I use it as justification for staying. The main reason why I gave her another chance was pity (she looked like hell when I came back after 2 weeks) and the fact that I still loved her. On paper I knew I should have left and that I would've been fine but I just couldn't do it. And yes I guess the part about protecting myself is a bit correct. It was a bit of an ego blow thats for sure, I'd never thought she'd be the type to cheat, and I never figured someone would cheat on me. 1
underwater2010 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I'm not a fan of sueing because you "can". It mostly smacksof greed. So if it was greed just say that. I knew I could get some cash. IMO a better way would be to threaten the company with a law suit and see if they take action. That way their will be none of the trickle effects vellocrat described. You know what...it is not so much greed as you screwed your employee. And guess what that is in most handbooks upon being hired, no fraternization among employees. Also, a little bit of common sense. Don't crap where you sleep...even dogs get it. 1
underwater2010 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 You said that you got paid! Holy cow man! You feel like you got justice bc another guy f** your wife and you got money for it? i'd sooner give that money to a hit man to kill the guy that f** my wife. I do not understand your kind. You are looking at the smaller picture. Yes, he got money. But the OM lost his job and his girlfriend...short of messing the guy's face up or killing him, he did the right thing. He didn't just expose the OM, but his WW too. He did nothing wrong, get off his back. 1
Scott Thomas Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 (edited) Sometimes it isn't about "better". Sometimes, sometimes, it is about loving someone enough to give them a second chance. Sometimes that specific someone doesn't deserve a chance. How many chances would the BS need to give? two, three? Love should be reciprocated. Sleeping with another man doesn't seem like a reciprocal of your spouse's love. Then again, it's the posters choice. If he thinks his wife is genuinely remorseful and will never cheat again, he's free to reconcile. Op, what if she cheats again? Have you two talked about a possible post-nup that would make divorce easier in case of another affair from her side? Edited October 22, 2013 by Scott Thomas
InnocentMan Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Wife bangs boss. Husband sues boss. Therapist calls it an "obligatory affair". Couple live happily ever after. God bless America.
drifter777 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Sometimes it isn't about "better". Sometimes, sometimes, it is about loving someone enough to give them a second chance. Yeah, sometimes. But know that there are men and women for whom infidelity is a deal-breaker. That's who they are and I respect anyone who is strong enough to stand by their convictions. If a person feels this way but "swallows" his/her emotions for the sake of the kids or their own delusional hope that time will somehow heal the wound, they are going to suffer - emotionally - for the rest of their lives. OP: You have talked about "swallowing" all of this and trying to move on. This is a horrible idea that will destroy you. Get into counseling and work on this. Find out if you are just trying to smooth things over to avoid all the drama and conflict or if you genuinely want and are able to work on reconciliation. The path your on now is going to lead to more pain and conflict - not less.
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