Kvd92 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 My ex and I are 23 years old. we broke up 3 months ago per me moving and not wanting him to drop his own life to follow me, long story short we are starting to get back together. My boyfriend has worked at this warehouse for four years now and all of a sudden over the time of our breakup he has become best friends with a married woman similar in age to us. She gave him advice (terrible advice that only caused him more problems i might add) on how to cope with being single. when he came to visit he mentioned her several times and I saw that they had exchanged numbers and had petty lengthy text msgs back and forth...I wasn't concerned then I asked my boyfriend to do me one favor, to stop seeking love advice from her since it only lead to him doing regretful things and was in general bad advice, I said it only seems logical, and now that its about me i don't really want her in our business. I said i don't care if you are friends and talk about anything else just not us please. well... he blew up. he got really angry over this and said that she said I would say that The fact that he never mentioned her once over the three years i was with him and then i leave and suddenly they are bffs seems weird. he's not the type that talks to women much anyways, he's shy! Its also weird that he defended her so strongly when all i did was ask that he not talk to her about me and its also weird that she would exchange numbers with an attractive single guy when she is newly married. and the fact that she is so involved in the buisness of his personal life, especially when he is the kind of person that does not by any means like to share his feelings or thoughts. am i over thinking it or should some of this maybe throw up red flags? I know men and women can be friends, he has a few other lady friends and I have guy friends but idk, this situation has been on my mind the last few days. if i am not over reacting, what do I do? im 5 hours away! and for the record... she is a skinny girl but i personally do not find her features very attractive at all.
FitChick Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Ask your boyfriend for her husband's number because you need male perspective and advice about your relationship. Suggest double dating.
hogwild Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Hi Kvd92! If you're explaining it clearly, you and your ex are no longer in a relationship. He can do as he likes and so can you. It COULD be that he's having a fling with her. That would be odd since she's newly married unless she only got married out of necessity like it was the baby daddy or he's a 90 year old billionaire with fancy socks. You can't start your relationship back up by accusing him or telling him who he can be friends with. You start it back by winning him over (and he has to win you over!) There must also be some hope that you and him might possibly move to the same city if things go well. She might be trying to seduce him or she might be a busy-body. Who knows? If you want him back, your job is to remind him why you're the best girl for him. And he must remind you why he's so great. Basically... 1 - Do the things together that made you two fall in love in the first place (like making fun of old people with fancy socks) 2 - Make him know (if it's true) that you and him will live in the same city soon if things work out. Also, he might feel abandoned by you because you left. If so, that needs to be repaired with reassurance. - Hog
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