Beware: TV Series "Diary of an Affair"

[JoyH]

A television series about infidelity has been recuitting for new people to participate and tell their story about infidelity in their marriage. Shown on Style and E!.

This is the response of one couple who decided to share their story of recovery with the hope to help others.

 

BEWARE: Diary of an Affair

Posted by gin on 12/4/2004, 7:40 am

 

Based on our experience doing Episode #8 for Diary of an Affair, I

am trying to get the word out to others what can happen and exactly

what their rights are once they've told their story. I am posting

this on every infidelity board/group I can find in hopes of

educating other couples which may be recruited for future episodes

(they're recruiting for season #2 now).

I was pleased overall with the finished product (we feared it could

be so much worse after seeing some other episodes), and I suppose

with only 30 minutes to work with, they did a decent job of telling

our story. However, they did do exactly what we feared in one

instance. During the interviews, they kept trying to get Brian to

say how "exciting" the sex was with Jennifer (not her real name),

and he kept stopping them and adamantly saying "But it wasn't! It

was the worse sex I've ever experienced. I only kept going back

because I thought there was something wrong with me because I

thought I should be enjoying something that was so wrong." Almost

immediately afterward, the producer said, "Describe what the sex was

like with Ginger when you guys first got together." His answer was

inserted to describe his affair. Thank goodness I was here to

witness that whole exchange. The producer/interviewer even

commented on how careful Brian was to not say anything racy, despite

his continual efforts to do so. The closest Brian got was to

say "It was exciting because I was doing something I wasn't supposed

to be doing. But the sex was just strictly business, almost

anamilistic." In fact, during the taping, he went on to say

something to the effect of "It makes me sound like a horrible

person, but "she" was just a disposable human being. She could have

been killed in an accident leaving the hotel, and I wouldn't have

felt anything." I guess they didn't want to hear a description that

doesn't glamorize an affair.

 

The "spin" makes me angry. It just proves their intent was never

really to tell an accurate variety of stories in hopes of helping

others in this situation. I would hate to think what might have

happened had I not been in the room during that conversation and

first heard it on TV along with everyone else. I would have never

have taken his word for it if I hadn't witnessed it myself. They

don't seem to get how fragile marriages are that have survived

something like this. Or, if they do get it, the ratings and dollar

signs far outweigh the detrimental effects to the participants. The

disclaimers pretty much protect them and give them the right to do

anything they choose for "artistic and creative emphasis", and we

have zero rights...not even the right to see it prior to the general

public (probably for exactly this reason). I understand rearranging

the chronological order of comments to get the story told and

compress it into a time restraint, but to take something that was

said about one person and apply it to another (essentially, THE

ENEMY) is sort of like reporting that one candidate for president

did something and giving his adversary the credit for it. It's just

flat wrong.

 

The first episode was awful. After seeing that, I immediately

started freaking out and I specifically worried that they would do

exactly what they did. I exchanged several e-mails with them in the

weeks following that first episode communicating our fears and they

continually reassured us that they would not do that and that we

would be pleased with the outcome.

 

If you are entertaining the idea of doing this, please be aware that

this kind of thing can happen and be sure that your marriage is

strong enough to withstand it should it happen.

 

Gin and Brain

[Stinkerbelle]

NOT to air our dirty linen in public.

 

The producers of a television show have NO vested interest in helping a marriage succeed. They want RATINGS; conflict, sex and drama give ratings. And anyone who believes otherwise, and trusts them, shouldn't be surprised to get hurt.

[dyermaker]

Am I the only one with no sympathy for Brian and Ginger?

 

I just think that when you are paid to tell your story (assuming they did it for money), it's almost expected that the network will do whatever they can to make up that loss.

 

I mean, it's a TV Show. It's one thing to say "Ratings ratings ratings, that's all they care about"--but I can't demonize a consumerist machine that I'm a regular participant in and patron of.