joe3 Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 My gf adn I broke up after 8 months. she actually broke it off with me. We are both 26 and we were madly in love. Towards the end, i got to be a bit flakier and her mom began not to like. Her and her mom got ina fight about me last weeek and two days later, she and I broke up. She lives at home adn still hasnt told her mom we broke up. My ex was very sad when we broke up and has called and even im'd while I was online today. I lvoe thsi girl liek no other and expected to marry her one day. i kno what i did wrong, and I know how to change each thing, i jsut have to be myself. I was laid off from work a week before she broke up, but she still contacts me here and there less thana week after breaking up/ we were made for each other and I know she still loves me. She called me the other day and I told her I was going to give her some space for the time being. I am planning on leaving some roses along with a card to ask her to coffee on her car windsheil while she is at work Monday or Tuesday. I really love her and will spare no expense in slowly working what we had before. her mom is against me, but i think my ex isnt 100% against me yet. What can I do to show her my love? How quickly shoudl I push the envelope on spenign time together again? she knows I am sorry for what went on with us, but my actiosn must now speak....how woud it be if I sent ehr a text over the phone to say hello to her and tell er I was just thinking of her? Please give any advice you may have, I have never felt so sorry or heartbroken over a woman before joe
innocntlisy1981 Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 dont parents suck like it or not they are such an influence on there childrens relationships.anyway i think tha best way u can tell her how u feel is in letter.they speak a million words and its so easy to express urself.try ur very best at the end of tha day does she love you as much as you love her to be willing to put tha past behind and try again.good luck
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 Originally posted by joe3 What can I do to show her my love? By not pressuring her. It doesn't matter what the excuse is. She broke up with you. I'm sure she misses you and loves you, but she may not miss the relationship she had with you. So... time to change tactics if you want to be back in a relationship with her. Something obviously has to change. I don't think she's going to want to go back to the relationship she has already backed out of. Skip the roses for now. Just contact her and tell her there are some things you'd like to talk to her about in say... a week or so. Tell her you need that time to get some things clear in your head, and ask that she not contact you during that time so that you can get your head straight. Set a date for a week from whatever day you talked to her. Make it something simple like a coffee date. During that week, with no interruptions or distractions: Take a good long look at your relationship. What went wrong? What could have been fixed? What could you have done better? What could she have done better? Ask yourself some hard questions. Write this stuff down if you have to. Once you come to a clear conclusion about what it is that needed to be fixed, you can talk to your girl about it. Ask her if she would be willing to be back with you, if you are willing to make the necessary changes and compromises to strengthen the relationship. Give yourself that week to really think about it. Now, meet your girl for coffee a week later, and tell her what you were thinking about and if there is a chance that you two can have a relationship. Let her know that you are serious about doing what it takes to work it out. If you still get a "I'm confused and I don't know what I want" - then you say "I understand - when you are clear about what you want then contact me. Until then, though I ask that you don't because its just too painful for me to deal with". If you get the "maybe we should just be friends" - then explain to her that you love her, and that being "just friends" would hurt too much. If she says "friends or nothing" - then you have to make a choice. Make a break and move on to someone who will love you, or stay with her and pretend to be her friend while your heart breaks on a daily basis. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll end up being just friends, but would it really be worth it to exchange your heart for "just friends"?
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