For all those affected by gigs

[rec88]

A little background on me, I was the dumpee in a cut-and-dry case of gigs. Long story short, a great relationship eroded when my ex did a short term move for work, emotionally withdrew, and ultimately decided the grass was greener there. I won’t go into all the crappy details, but saying I was devastated is an understatement. After 9 months, I’m through the worst of it and am starting to see the many bright sides of my situation. I feel this is one of the more important ones and wanted to share.

 

I heard a quote recently on the radio that really made me think: “Wherever you go, there you are.” The way it was explained, it means that if you don't like yourself, or you haven't made peace with yourself for the things you've done in the past, you will be dealing with that baggage until you confront it. If we expect happiness and personal satisfaction to come from simply changing our external environment without making any changes within ourselves, we will be disappointed. He summed it up at the end by saying, "happiness is an inside job. Only you can work on it."

 

To me, this is highly relevant to gigs. When someone leaves a great relationship for someone else, somewhere else, or whatever the case may be, it’s likely that they are the barrier to their own satisfaction in life, not you. It seems that gigs dumpers always leave for something new and exciting, but not necessarily better. As the honeymoon phase wears off and they settle in, their personal issues and emotional baggage will surface once again, and they will probably deal with it the only way they know how: move on to the next one (or try the old one again). And so they continue their 'what if' mentality and perpetuate the cycle of an unsatisfied life.

 

To expand this to more than just relationships, I have a friend who feels stuck in a rut in her life. She doesn’t like her job, doesn’t have many friends, and doesn’t see where her life is headed. But she doesn’t do anything about it because she has a habit of creating barriers for herself. The only person stopping her from improving her situation is her. She believes that moving to Denver will change all of this because she feels it’s where she’s ‘meant to be’. While a move could certainly do her some good, it will not work the way she thinks because her issues will travel with her. Once the novelty and excitement of a new location wear off, she will likely settle into the same routine and find herself unsatisfied again.

 

These are analogous situations. Some people jump cities, some jump relationships, some do both. Every jump is an opportunity to either recognize and address the source of your dissatisfaction or continue on your current path. The individual is the ONLY person who can make that choice, and they can only make it for themselves. This applies to you, me, everybody.

 

Here’s where I found the opportunity to come out ahead. I will learn from their mistakes. I understand that true happiness and satisfaction come from within, not from outside. I feel that it takes a strong force in a person’s life to make them realize this. This is my time and I won’t waste the opportunity. Don't fear life for what it could be or could have been, enjoy it for what it is.

 

I hope this is helpful for all those reading. Feel free to share your thoughts.

[headinthecloud]

Thanks for sharing your story and your wisdoms. I agree, you can change your environment, your clothes, and your hair but in the end the person staring back at the mirror is the same unless you work on you.

[Lizrd3000]

Words of wisdom.

I told my ex something similar.

something like happiness comes from within, but she's stubborn, so **** her, went NC. mwhaha.

 

this post reminded me though, thanks for sharing. I needed this!

[rec88]

but she's stubborn, so **** her, went NC. mwhaha.

 

Laughed REALLY hard at this! Way to take back your self respect! If she doesn't want to take some good advice, then **** her. She will just have to learn the hard way.

 

Good move on the NC. It's tough, but definitely the only way to heal from this. And ooohh the breadcrumbs... Just you wait.

[Mr Scorpio]

Let us pay homage to the

. Or at least, what I believe to be the origin.