jj_999 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Hi, Could anyone here please help me. Here's what happened... We've been dating pretty casual for about 8 months but only see each other once every couple weeks because of work and distance. She was really into it at first but seemed to lose a lot of interest. I probably wasn't satisfying her or giving her the commitment she wanted. She broke up with me. She admitted she started seeing someone else. It really sounded like she didn't like this guy too much. I've been pretty crushed and been moping around. At first, I ended the breakup call quickly because I was taken by surprise. She is definitely someone that I could see being with for the long term. I spoke to a counselor who told me to call her and say sorry that I wasn't trying hard enough and making enough time for her and I really liked her and that I want to try again. And to tell her that I was upset she didn't tell me about the other guy (could have been worse she could have been dating 20 guys at once or something)...I called her and told her that and told her that. I also told her I'm not surprised she's dating someone new because she's been looking really good lately. I asked if she wanted to get together and she said yes... but I asked if she really likes this other guy and she said yes. I told her I have to move on at some point. So I don't know I was thinking give it some time and get together with her to see if she's into it... What would you do ? Please help... I care about this one alot
reddragon588 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Your counselor told you to apologize to her for her breaking up with you?
hurts2death Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 i am confused ,that only would have happened if she is seeing the counselorYour counselor told you to apologize to her for her breaking up with you?
stillafool Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 First of all she wouldn't be seeing this guy as a bf if she didn't like him so don't believe that she doesn't. She dumped you not the other way around so it is up to her to come back to reconcile. I think your best bet would be to move on at this point. She already knows how you feel, your phone number and where you live. If she wants you she will reach out. 2
Author jj_999 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 I apologized because I did treat her really badly in my opinion. I never saw her, said no to meet her friends, family, and go to a wedding and trip... and just wasn't that into her (all because I wasn't ready). I hadn't seen her in 4 weeks when she broke up with me Everytime I saw her she was really into me... Thanks for advice. Any other thoughts or experience?
Mariposa10 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I would distance myself from this person. She already told you she likes this new guy "a lot." Sounds like she doesn't want to be in a serious relationship you know exclusive. You'll only end up hurting yourself again. 1
cereal_dater Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Only way to possibly get her back, is to go NC and trigger her sense of loss. Women never seem to want us back until they think we're moving on. In your situation.. it doesn't sound like the two of you really built up much of a rapport, I don't know how strongly she really feels for you, but I wouldn't expect her to come running back to a guy she only saw once every few weeks. Go NC and if she comes snooping around, act busy, aloof and indifferent. I wouldn't hold my breath, but at least you'll be moving on in the process.
jimloveslips Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I did treat her really badly in my opinion. I never saw her, said no to meet her friends, family, and go to a wedding and trip... and just wasn't that into her And I probably wasn't satisfying her Jeez, poor girl, why isn't she on the forum looking for advice - oh wait, she has a life...
Author jj_999 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 Ouch. Are you guys sure bc is my best chance? I think I'm screwed.i was thinking if I took her Out and we had a great romantic time she might reconsider Especially if this other guy works out.
reddragon588 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I apologized because I did treat her really badly in my opinion. I never saw her, said no to meet her friends, family, and go to a wedding and trip... and just wasn't that into her (all because I wasn't ready). I hadn't seen her in 4 weeks when she broke up with me Everytime I saw her she was really into me... Thanks for advice. Any other thoughts or experience? I'm assuming this is what she told you. She's trying to transfer her guilt onto you and she has succeeded. Did you make mistakes? Sure! We all do! But why do you need to apologize? Is she apologizing for the mistakes she made? Is she apologizing for breaking up with you?
loversquarrel Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Are you now just into her because she has started to date someone new? You said yourself you weren't that into her...but now you are? I think your chances are good if you want to get back with her, she is being up front by telling you she really likes this other guy....but she did leave the door wide open for you by agreeing to a date. I just wonder if this is one of those be careful what you wish for deals? In other words, do you really want her back? If I really wanted her back I would go for it, as long as she didn't cheat on me.
todreaminblue Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 And Jeez, poor girl, why isn't she on the forum looking for advice - oh wait, she has a life... why are you on the forum? 1
todreaminblue Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Ouch. Are you guys sure bc is my best chance? I think I'm screwed.i was thinking if I took her Out and we had a great romantic time she might reconsider Especially if this other guy works out. i think you should nto take her out for romance but take her out and be honest with how you feel towards her and then the decision is up to her if sh ei sserious about this other guy she will let you know....dont put pressure and romance on you or her.....just go out somewhere neutral and talk....romance comes for when she decides it is you she wants to be with not before..it also depends if she is exclusive and dating....which actually means she isnt single...i do think you need to eb honest ......and i wish you well................deb
h0000 Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 yeah in confused are you into her or not? ? you said you werent. now you are? why??
jimloveslips Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 why are you on the forum? Read my profile!
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