dlyall Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 for the past several months I have been in a wonderful relationship with this guy. We message each other everyday and often...i usually wake up and he has sent me a message saying good morning sweetheart. We never had a fight or nothing really maybe a bicker here and there but nothing drastic. Just last week he told me how our relationship was working out and that he has been the happiest since we started going out. Then all of the sudden a few days ago he did not respond to a couple of my messages so the next morning I send him a good morning message and saying hope everything was okay tried catching you yesterday then he sends me this: "Good Morning... My life changed yesterday. I need some time" .. I was all confused so I just said "oh, well whenever you are ready to talk I am here" he said okay. That was that, nothing 3 days later and nothing..ummmmm....wtf..now i am all confused and feel I was just dumped or something. Very odd and out of nowhere! How would you guys take this?
Purepony Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 My guess is his x girlfriends pregnant someone's pregnant or he lost his job
Author dlyall Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 the only thing I could think of is someone such as an ex was pregnant also and I know for sure he did not lose his job!
mammasita Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Several months, you're in a wonderful relationship and all you get is a text saying he needs time? **** THAT! 1
Author dlyall Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 i know, trust me I thought the same thing!
2sunny Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 His explanation isn't adequate. He should at least communicate like an adult and allow you the grave and dignity of what has changed so much that it also affected you and the relationship he was building with you. If he's that much emotionally stunted that he can't explain himself - then he's not worth thinking about.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 It's got something to do with another woman; I'd put money on it. If not, it doesn't make sense that he wouldn't at least give you an idea about what's happened (a death in the family, job loss, etc) Perhaps he could've contracted an STI and doesn't know how to tell you? I don't want to make you nervous but he's obviously hiding something big. I'd at least find out if it directly affects your personal health / well-being, then move on.
Lansing Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Wow, that is messed up indeed... What kind of person does that??
Leigh 87 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 His feelings for YOU have likely changed. That's what's happened. He would likely tell you if anything terrible happened and he was still very much into you. Heck, the recent ex of one month who didn't even have the decency to break up with me (rather, he disappeared), even HE, after a mere week after meeting, called me first before any of his friends, when his mother was in hospital.... Normally when a guy is truly into you, he has feelings for you that make him WANT to tell you first when life gets hard and bad sh*t happens to him. There ARE guys who aren't comfortable talking about their feelings to their girlfriends.... In any case, he should have clarified that everything between YOU TWO is alright, just to ensure you are not left hanging... Sorry, but it really appears as though he has done the " disappearing act". Too cowardly to end it with you in a decent way. I have had this done to me twice recently, I know it sucks.
Author dlyall Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 I would be inclined to agree with the disappearing act but he has not made himself invisible he just has not told me what is going on. At this point I am damn near over what he has to even say at this point.
happywithlife Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 After dating for several months, you deserve more of an answer than that! Its time to either pick up the phone and call him or set up a time to meet in person. If he can't have the dignity to do that, cut all contact with him and if he tries to get back into your life down the road don't let him! You deserve someone who can communicate with you. 1
Author dlyall Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 Oh , trust me I am going to contact him but not right away, nope. He gets a few days as I am not going to act distraught, angry or blow up his phone or inbox! But I am going to get answers....so damn strange this whole thing is! 1
WhiteButton Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Maybe he had death in family? Still, if i dated you for months, i would call you especially if something "life changing" happened in my life.
mammasita Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Oh , trust me I am going to contact him but not right away, nope. He gets a few days as I am not going to act distraught, angry or blow up his phone or inbox! But I am going to get answers....so damn strange this whole thing is! You are being WAAAAY too calm and nice. I would be demanding answers yesterday.
Author dlyall Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 I am not calm. I am exercising restraint and I am in the mist of finals ( i am in not i my 20's FYI) and I need to focus and not get side tracked. But I am pissed.
Leigh 87 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 awww I am so sorry he has just.. stopped contacting you. Man, that's gotta hurt. It hurt me after a mere month, with my current ex.... We were just short of a month together, it was really intense, and he just disappeared rather than talk something minor through with me.... I can only imagine if he did it after SEVERAL months... Since I would have fallen in love by then. Some people are just really stupid, frankly! I mean, how can you NOT be aware of how other people will take that!? How difficult it is it to think: " wow, this chick invested a few months in me getting close to me, we were intimate, we talked every day... GEE, maybe it will really leave her hanging if I were to .. you know, DISSAPEAR?" It doesn't take much social intelligence to realise that people want closure and answers. I hope karma bites in him the @ss. You don't deserve this cr@P, as it is pretty obvious you would never think to do this to anyone you had been seeing.. When/if HE contacts you, which for some reason I doubt he will, I would be cold and to the point; yeh, hey. You disappeared and left me wondering. I would have more respect for you if you had just broken up with me via phone. It would have only taken you a minute or two" Just try to keep things under control... That is what I will do IF my ex EVER reaches out to me, which I doubt he will. I would be polite but to the point. Just don't tell him to fck off or anything haha, keep your cool girl. IF he answers your calls or texts..... My guy ignored mine. He wanted to literally disappear.
Author dlyall Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 I totally hear yea, I am not going to cuss him out...though i want too lol.! 1
2sunny Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Since this is his way of handling adversity - to shut you out and avoid you - shows his lack of maturity. Is it possible he was married and acting single? I've seen it happen!
Author dlyall Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 no , he is divorced for the passed 3 years I even met his dad.
tlegend Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Well, I don't really know what to say other than to solidify the picture painted by everyone else. It sucks, it hurts, you definitely deserved a much more detailed explanation.....but hey, he did you a favor. You're free now, so go crush those finals and think about the life ahead of you.
Author dlyall Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 I agree with everyone here. I will update after I concentrate on my finals. After all I have priorities now that include, me , myself and I. 2
Author dlyall Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 He is emerging from the faraway land called "time"...lets see what BS comes from this lol..
Author dlyall Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 okay, so one would think, including myself that I would be scrubbed/deleted from this guys life including facebook after pure radio silence since he asked for time several days back. So yesterday, I posted several things about me that were positive in regards to acing a class, exercise progress and about my favorite show. Then all of sudden it seems like he went through and only "liked" all the posts i recently did that were positive about my life and about our fav. show. ummm what?! very confusing...
Author dlyall Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 So, i contacted disappearing man. He actually responded to my inquiries...and it was what I thought. He had news sprung on him that he apparently has a son, he says he just wanted to think things through and assess the situation. He also said that he does not want to go into detail right now but he promises that we will talk about it more real soon. wow..here I am thinking I was not going to get a response at all.
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