Stone Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 I can't believe what just happened.... I went and got a sonagram today to find out how pregnant I am and I am 7 weeks. I came home to tell my boyfriend and he told me he still wanted me to get an abortion.... he said "look at you you've already gained so much weight" ( I gained 20 lbs since I've been with him for 2 years) then he called me a PIG!!! I can't believe he said that... I can't stop crying I want to punch him in the face
Naive Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 I am so sorry to hear what an A**HOLE he is!!!! I thought he was happy with the idea of forming a family? I can imagine how that might have made you feel. You don't need this now hon'....all you have to worry abut is your baby and your little boy. Of course you are going to gain weight....HELLO, you are pregnant!!! kick his sorry a** right on the balls If you need to let it out I am here for you Stone. I feel bad that you have to go through this hon', especially NOW that you are pregnant.
Honesty Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 give that b!$*# a good kick in the a$$. maybe that will help him be a real man.
blind_otter Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Oh. My. God. That is horrible, I'm so sorry!!!! That makes me want to punch him in the face. No offense. Well, you know I know how you feel...but you know that - and I just don't understand. You'd think a man would be able to give you as much respect as he gives his friends. But no, apparently that's too much effort. God that makes me so mad. Probably because I understand what you're going through so much.... Well, keep venting if you need to. It does help me, when I write it out...
clandestinidad Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Hi there....I must say that I'm a bit shocked! Not only are you dealing with the pregnancy discovery, then someone you love is being verbally abusive to you!! I actually have a 18 month old daughter, from a relationship with her verbally (and later physically) abusive father. He was abusive while I was pregnant, and even abandonded us when I was on bed rest. I have to tell you to get out of this. I realize that it might sound over-reactive, but if he has the gall to say that to you, and to be telling you what to do about your baby, then more than likely this will only get worse the longer you are together. A quick side-note...I did not have an abortion, and I know many others who chose life, and I have to tell you that having a baby is the best thing in the world!! Its amazing....the love that you share, the bonding, knowing how important both of you are to each other, watching him/her grow and learn.....she has changed my life in incredible ways. If the financial burden is getting you down, I should tell you that the financial aspects of having her dont even matter compared to what she has brought to my life. There are numerous programs to help, and one shouldnt be ashamed to use them b/c thats what they are there for. Whatever you decide, its YOUR choice, not his.....I'm sure he's just thinking about how he'll have to pay for things, or pay child support if ya'll split up (A$$H@L#) I am quite serious about getting out of this relationship....I've been there. No one should verbally abuse a pregnant woman!!! My guess would be that this isnt the first time he's spoken to you like this either. Please please please do not take this treatment lightly. It indicates the beginning of a long string of abuse, "i'm so sorry's", excuses, and more abuse. It will get out of control if you let it continue. Dont let it get to the point where he's worn you down and you have no self-esteem, and no chance of getting out
Author Stone Posted December 4, 2004 Author Posted December 4, 2004 Actually this is the 1st time he has said anything mean to me, I packed my **** and wen't to my mothers house for the weekend My son was sleeping over there anyway, all I want to do is snuggle with my son right now anyway.
clandestinidad Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 I'm so glad you did that!!! You didnt allow a huge long loud argument about it!! I'm not sure that I would have been able to do that...I'm a big fighter when it comes to that kind of crap. I admire your solution to the situation!! If he's never said anything mean, thats a really big one to start with!!! I've been trying to figure out what he could be thinking, and I'm at a complete loss. Maybe he REALLY doesnt want this baby, and somehow thinks that insulting you and making you feel ugly will convince you to get rid of it. I dont know.....I never understood why my ex was so verbally abusive to me while I was pregnant, so maybe thats why I havent a clue on this one. But I'm still here for you whenever you want to rant and vent about it! Is he the father of your son?? How long have you been together?? What did your mother say about it??
heckno Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 That is horrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. What a horrible thing for a man to say or demand from a woman, calling her a pig and then suggesting an abortion. Men don't realize what turmoil that can put women though, mental and sometimes physical. They want to make the baby, but when the responsibility comes, forget it with guys like this. You deserve so much better than that. It's detrimental to have that stress in pregnancy. You don't know how many studies i've read over the past year about stress and the fetus. What kind of mental damage it can cause, or other problems with the unborn child. I'm 6 months pregnant myself and try and stay as calm as possible, and remove myself from stress like you did. Good for you hun, and don't put up with that crap regardless. I haven't been the easiest person to deal with, and i've gained quite a bit, my husband still tells me how beautiful I am and shows me the love everyday.. and that's exactly what EVERY woman deserves.
SoleMate Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 BzzzzTTTTTT!! He loses! But Stone, isn't this guy with a severe mood disorder? Is there any chance that his bad behavior might be correctable with meds, etc.? You just can't expect mentally ill people to always behave correctly, especially in stressful situations. What he said was disgusting. Suggesting that a woman with a wanted pregnancy get an abortion is...SO LOW.
tiki Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 Tell him to make up his mind about his decision to keep the baby, that's not good for you! He's pissing me off, and I don't even have to deal with him.
melina Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 Hi stone How long have you been dating this guy?
meanon Posted December 4, 2004 Posted December 4, 2004 Stone, that's awful If he has reservations about you having the baby, that's no way to handle them. You deserve better than that. Look after yourself and your son.
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