ponchsox Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I know in my relationship that just ended, there were several times I was ready to end it out of frustration. I had already broken up with her once and we reconciled. Have you ever felt you hung around too long after doing everything to make it work and in hindsight you should have ended it long ago?
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I suppose in retrospect I probably should of left.. But I'm stupid in love. I think if you love someone - which i did - you can resolve anything, work at it, etc. It's a choice to be happy. But looking back now, and how It ended...probably should of left. Deep down I knew that he is the kind of person who likes things to be exciting, fun, interesting ALL the time. He gets bored with things. And I tend to be more content and comfortable with things, not always looking for excitement and happy to just be with the one I love. Should of let him go years ago so he could go pursue what he wanted. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.
melell Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Yes for sure. I was always willing to try, hence my sticking around. There were many reasons for me to leave in year 1. I ended it, only lasted a few weeks in year 3. He left this time in year 8. It has been 3-4 months since break up, I will not ever go back. And I am 100% sure had I waited 3 or 4 months when we broke up in year 3 it would have been over for me for good. Love really does make us blind, as soon as those emotional attachments break everything looks MUCH clearer. Retrospect is a bitch. 1
Salvatore85 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I considered ending things several times but I had been with her for so long that the idea of being single again was so terrifying that I chose not to. It's pretty sad that I was willing to be miserable just to avoid being single. 1
Never Again Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Deep down I knew that he is the kind of person who likes things to be exciting, fun, interesting ALL the time. He gets bored with things. And I tend to be more content and comfortable with things, not always looking for excitement and happy to just be with the one I love. Sounds like me and my ex, except I was always open to things being fun and exciting, but I liked my downtime too. I needed a little of both, and I sort of expected her to say/do/plan something if things were bothering her. I helped generate excitement and energy for 8.5 months, and I needed a month break from it all and wanted to be low key and relax with her. I wanted to let the hormonal high of "in love" take a breather and slow down, learn about one another and just have some quality time cuddling up together while watching movies. No excitement or passion for just a month is all I needed to recharge. But that was too much and she left. I felt something was off, but she gave the signs that she was still in it. In hindsight, I should have left when I felt something wrong, but I thought it was just the honeymoon period ending.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I helped generate excitement and energy for 8.5 months, and I needed a month break from it all and wanted to be low key and relax with her. I wanted to let the hormonal high of "in love" take a breather and slow down, learn about one another and just have some quality time cuddling up together while watching movies. No excitement or passion for just a month is all I needed to recharge. I'm really interested to see how his next relationship plays out. I'm sure of course in the beginning its all good and fun and exciting. But then as things progress and move into the real relationship stage. I want to see how long it lasts. Because I know for myself I just felt exhausted and wanted some downtime. Didn't want to be busy ALL the time. Wondering if the next GF will feel the same after a while, when she realizes that its not a stage for him...he's like that all the time. Is FULL ON....
Never Again Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I'm really interested to see how his next relationship plays out. I'm sure of course in the beginning its all good and fun and exciting. But then as things progress and move into the real relationship stage. I want to see how long it lasts. Because I know for myself I just felt exhausted and wanted some downtime. Didn't want to be busy ALL the time. Wondering if the next GF will feel the same after a while, when she realizes that its not a stage for him...he's like that all the time. Is FULL ON.... I'm trying hard not to be interested in my ex's next relationship. I was never exhausted because of her, but life/work was getting busy for us both and I have her lots of room to do her own thing...I tried to be the comforting, stable thing she could rely on. But she was off having adventures with friends and I seemed dull by comparison. She never said anything though, and always seemed okay with downtime in the past. It's like a switch went off when the "have-sex-like-rabbits" stage calmed down. She's chasing someone 3000 miles away now though, so if I do hear news, I'm sure it'll be a comedy of errors.
Art Vandalay Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 l could tell she was struggling. The last month or so she seemed only interested in loving me when it was convenient for her. l did everything l could, because l love her with all my heart, there was just something about this girl that drives me insane, hard to say what exactly, but she had it. So no, l don't think l hung around too long.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Yes and no. I've never cried so much and felt so hurt and disrespected by any man before but at the same time I loved my ex fiercely. Though logic says I should have left him, I didn't want to live with regret so I stayed. I wanted to know that I had tried everything possible to make it work with someone that I loved so much. So...though I ended up with a broken heart, I have no regrets. I've learned so much from the relationship and look forward to growing from this experience.
rec88 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 In hindsight, yes. I could tell my ex was pretty checked out emotionally. It went on months longer than it should have. But I don't regret it. Our relationship was built on trust, and if I didn't trust and support her at the time, when she needed it most, it would have ended regardless. I believed in her and wasn't willing to give up on her... And in the end, I got burned because she misled me and didn't have the courage to be honest with me. The way I see it, I gave someone I loved everything I had, and she let someone she loved down. It didn't work out well for either of us and I probably put myself through more pain than was necessary, but I feel that (in time) I can walk out of this guilt free with my head held high. If I could choose, I'd much rather be in my spot. 1
sambo77 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Know what you mean rec. Someone once said "If equal affection there cannot be, let the one who loves more be me..." I think I'd subscribe to that. Like you, I'm glad I was willing to stand and work for our relationship. For us, it was the first sign that we were now out of the honeymoon phase and would be required to work at what we had to maintain, nurture, and continue our relationship. I was ready and willing to do that standing by her side. She bolted. No, I didn't hang around too long. I loved her and I valued what we had...when that's the case I am ready to spill blood. I will walk away knowing I did not hide my love for her, my desire to remain loyal and true were clear, and that I am willing to communicate with my partner in order to make it through. Without such an attitude from both partners all relationships are screwed after the glittery stuff fades. Rant over.
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