cat Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Most of my story is in the OM/OW forum because the man I am dealing with is married/was separated. We had a real relationship which he left a few weeks ago to go back to his wife. I had an encounter with him today. I've posted before, generally upset about times I've had to see him at work or just randomly. But today was different. I saw him at an offsite work location again. I avoided him most of the day. Kind of an "eye contact, chin-hi" acknowledgement but that's it. About 2:30 I had to leave the conference room with my laptop and sit at a table in a kind of public place . I'd been out there a couple minutes when he wandered up, obviously uncomfortable/awkward. We chatted, I kind of shut it down, didn't ask any questions or anything, he just kind of asked how my weekend had been etc. THen he said "Well, I'll let you get back to your day." and he left. It was fine, I didn't have much of any kind of reaction when this was all happening, so that's good. A little backstory here-- while we were together, there was a guy we'll call John. My ex was obsessed with John. John is my friend, we're friendly, but not super good friends. Over the course of our relationship my ex was convinced John had a thing for me, and would get mad/jealous/mean at any contact with him or even mention of John's name. It caused multiple fights and serious issues. John is a friend we had in common and not one that I talked to much. Even now, maybe an FB message once a week... anyhow, John recently moved out of his marital home and into an apartment. He seems fine, and says it needed to happen for years. Annnnyhoo-- back to today. 10 minutes after our perfectly normal and pleasant conversation ends, he goes back to his work and i go back to mine. I'm basically facing a wall, and he walks back behind me and says "Rumor on the street is John moved out on his wife," basically to the back of my head. I turned around and he's walking away. I stood up and I said "What exactly are you implying?" and he said (sarcastically I might add) "Nothing. I"m just making a statement. But don't you think it's weird?" of course implying that John left his wife for ME and that John and I were conspiring this whole time to be together. I FLIPPED OUT. I lose my temper about once every 5 years but hoooo boy look out. Plus I was at work, and I guard myself professionally but I was mad. I said something to the effect of "Are you saying that had something to do with me? He's been a good friend to me-- not like you--and he's dating a lovely woman who I consider a friend, and don't you EVER EVER talk to me about him EVER AGAIN." I have never seen something to passive aggressive and emotionally immature in my whole life. He just had to go there. 1) HE DUMPED ME AND WENT BACK TO HIS WIFE and has no right to imply anything about what I"m doing and with whom. 2) even if he did want to know, he can ask me to my face like a grown man. 3) I think God was showing me what a lifetime with him would have been like. She can have him. I didn't do the story justice, and I think I"m just venting, and I also know the fact that i was so mad means he can still affect me, but I also feel freed from wanting him. There's no going back at this point. I can stand up for myself. I don't need this junk from a lying, adulterous, lazy, passive aggressive, immature loser. No thank you. That is all.
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