DrDave92 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 me and my ex broke up about 5 months ago after a 2 year relationship and since then a lot's happened, we had a huge falling out (as discussed in previous posts) but recently, due to attending the same university and bumping into each other on a night out, we agreed to be friends. Shortly after she broke up with me and broke my heart i unfollowed her on twitter and hid her on facebook, which has helped me greatly in moving on (although i'm still not there) last night she randomly started following me again on twitter and i feel obliged to return the favour by following her back but i don't think it would be good for me. In an ideal world i'd like to follow her back and hide her so i don't see her posts but this doesn't appear to be an option with twitter. Just one look at her twitter feed makes me feel crap and after much trial and error it is blatantly obvious that as little contact as possible is the only way for me to continue moving forward. It's upsetting that something as simple as her following me on twitter still gets to me and sends my mind into overdrive after all this time. I don't want to seem effected by her following me but feel as though me not following her back will give off this impression. Any advice?
reddragon588 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 If her just following you upsets you, imagine what will happen if she interacts with you. Block her..
Author DrDave92 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 The thing is we exchanged a few texts after i bumped into her where i just asked her how she was settling into uni etc. and i didn't feel too bad. I've definitely progressed however i just think that following her on twitter would be a bit much for me, i don't want to know what she's doing or who she's with. Some of my friends have told me to do the civil thing and follow her back but if it's gonna bring me down/set me back and ruin my enjoyment of using social media i don't want to do it. I feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place
reddragon588 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Some of my friends have told me to do the civil thing and follow her back Do the civil thing? It's just Twitter. The fact of the matter is, just like you don't want to know what she's doing or what she's up to... she doesn't have the right to know what you're doing or what you're up to either.
Minneloa Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Nope. Prioritize your healing. You're not ready to be friends with her, and that's fine. Civil means nodding if you physically cross paths with her. Social media is strictly optional. Don't let your friends push you into something that will hurt your forward progress. 1
Author DrDave92 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 i just don't want her to know i'm still effected by things which may sound childish but i just get the impression she wants to know she still has a hold over me.
Minneloa Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 i just don't want her to know i'm still effected by things which may sound childish but i just get the impression she wants to know she still has a hold over me. That's what I mean by prioritize your healing. Don't worry about what she thinks; y'all are broken up. It is perfectly normal to avoid an ex's social media, and you don't have to justify it. The crucial factor is that you already know following her Twitter would set you back. Her reaction or lack thereof shouldn't be your primary concern. Protect yourself first. (This is the speech I gave myself as I unfriended my ex on Facebook, which was a crucial step in my recovery.) 1
reddragon588 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 i just don't want her to know i'm still effected by things which may sound childish but i just get the impression she wants to know she still has a hold over me. Letting her just walk all over you and dictate the terms of your relationship by choosing how you interact shows she has a hold over you. If you block her, you're dictating the terms now and that you're in charge. I hate to term it as "who holds power" but blocking her takes the power back into your hands.
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