JamesM Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 So ya, I'll pass on the affairs thanks. Again, it is silly to state than everyone is capable of such actions, because frankly, it's just not true. Some of us have more strength and self-awareness than others. Self-awareness should lead to the conclusion that everyone IS capable of choosing an affair but guaranteed, everyone won't. It is different to say I won't than to say I am not capable. I know I am capable. I know I could be vulnerable. But I know based on the past, that I can be strong enough to not only avoid circumstances that lead to an affair, but I can say no as I have done it. While I can say I am capable, I can also say that I have confidence that I won't because of what I have learned about myself and how I intend to prevent situations that lead to an affair. So far for me, it has worked. To say that I am capable does not mean that I less strength. IMO it says I am more self-aware of who I am. Interesting article.... How to Avoid an Affair: Admit That You Could, Conceivably, Have an Affair - Eleanor Barkhorn - The Atlantic these.
Shepp Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Even if my husband was treating me horribly, and was the absolute biggest jerk in the world, I still wouldn't be able to have an affair. It just feels wrong. I just couldn't ever feel comfortable doing so. That shouldn't be a bad thing!! Everyone may be capable of feeling the temptation, but it is ridiculous to state that everyone is capable of engaging in an affair. Amen!! save the person that I am, and the moral code that I plan to adhere to for life. This is worth more than anything to me, and if I felt it slipping, I'd go to great lengths to save it. I know my values, and I know what I believe. My actions shape who I am, and I like myself. I wouldn't give that up for anything. I know without a doubt that having an affair would do nothing but shatter me, and I don't think that at any point I would be able to delude myself into thinking otherwise. Loyalty and integrity are two things that I wouldn't trade for the world. If life breaks me down to the point where I am considering betraying my core values and beliefs to such an extent, I am sure that I would have the mind to realise that I need help, and I'd be going to get it pretty damn quickly - as soon as the thought crossed my mind it would be a red flag for me, and I would identify that something is very, very wrong with me. Sure, betraying someone you love is a terrible thing, but my post doesn't really cover that. Having an affair is a deep betrayal of yourself more than anything else, and I imagine recovering from this to be a very difficult process. . Couldn't agree more! No girl would be worth compromising everything that I am and everything that I aim to be. I like the guy in the mirror and I want it to stay that way. Self-awareness should lead to the conclusion that everyone IS capable of choosing an affair but guaranteed, everyone won't. It is different to say I won't than to say I am not capable. Sometimes won't comes from a deeper place than weighing up the pros and cons and making a choice. I'm not going to go I to the whole story but I was aced with a choice once, to leave my brother, save myself or to stay with him andno that the odds probably weren't that good for either of us. Of corse I had the choice to leave but I couldnt, not wouldn't, I wasn't capable. There was no logic in that desion, it turned out good for but that was luck really, maybe fate I dunno. But I couldn't of left him if I wanted to, hell he wanted me to, even if I told myself too I know my legs would of obeyed! I wasn't capable. That's why I wanted to be a firefighter, from that day on! Interesting article.... How to Avoid an Affair: Admit That You Could, Conceivably, Have an Affair - Eleanor Barkhorn - The Atlantic these. "People aren't really good at resisting temptation," Rubin said. "It's easier to have a rule that you just follow, so you're not constantly having to weigh circumstances." Whoes Rubin to tell me that I can't resist temptation! Besides there's no element of an affair that tempts me, I don't see the attraction. Maybe I might need a list if I was trying to avoid eating donuts but for an affair, no way I find the whole list ridiculously - it might as well saying your in a relationship then you must not be within 10 yards of a member of the opposite sex.....thtas treating all humans like addicts with no self control or animals only capable of spending time. With the opposite sex in the hope it will lead to sex.
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