internalChange Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) This is a rant. Just want someone to listen. Me and my ex of almost 2 years broke up last year around end of august. It was a very very bad break up, lots of drama. It has been a year now, rationally everything seem to be better: - I workout every other day now, my body look a lot better. I have never liked my body this much - I finally finished university, working on a project with a friend and am looking for a job but I have found my goal. Unlike before when I had no goal at all. - I joined nofap, it is helping a lot, especially because me and my ex had sex A LOT, and after the break up I had a withdraw or something, and masturbated quit a lot. But the thing I hate is that I am no longer happy all the time like when I was with my ex, I feel lonely most of the time. And everyday I have to constantly battle with my emotion, I am getting better though. But I am getting tired of battling with my emotion, I mean I win against it, but it's very exhausting. I never had to do that before my relationship with her. Battling with the thought of my ex exhaust me too, I miss her from time to time. This whole thing is just so exhausting, and I feel so behind in life, no gf and misses my ex, have to pay student loan, have to look for a job. The good thing is that I am still fighting, wanting and willing to fight. But are extremely exhausted. Edited October 9, 2013 by internalChange
Ronni_W Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I hear ya It all can get exhausting...sometimes all's can be done in the short-term is to keep fighting the good fight. Hugs and best of luck.
Author internalChange Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 Yeah, thanks just hope one day I will be able to be happy without effort again =)
Mr Scorpio Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 This whole thing is just so exhausting, and I feel so behind in life, no gf and misses my ex, have to pay student loan, have to look for a job. The good thing is that I am still fighting, wanting and willing to fight. But are extremely exhausted. Might I ask how old you are? Yeah, thanks just hope one day I will be able to be happy without effort again =) Don't you think that being happy is worth some effort?
Author internalChange Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 (edited) Might I ask how old you are? 25. I had some medical issue before, that's why I am so behind in life. Don't you think that being happy is worth some effort? lol yeah, I thought that didn't come out right, you are definitely right. I guess what I was trying to say was it take way more effort to be happy now. Before, the "default emotion" was either happy or satisfy. Now the "default emotion" is loneliness, which lead to sadness. The only thing keeping me going is that I want to get out of this ****hole, I am fighting and hoping one day I will go back to how I was, and believing I will. But again after constantly fighting with emotion it's very exhuasting, uncertainty discourage me sometimes too. But I guess life has its up and down, got to suck it up and man up =/ =) edit: and thanks =) just talking about it has made me feel better Edited October 10, 2013 by internalChange
Mr Scorpio Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 25. I had some medical issue before, that's why I am so behind in life. It is all relative. I'm a good deal older than you are. I likely have a lot more student debt than you do. You likely make more money than I do. And to be certain, there are people older than both of us with more debt who feel that they are behind in life. lol yeah, I thought that didn't come out right, you are definitely right. I guess what I was trying to say was it take way more effort to be happy now. Before, the "default emotion" was either happy or satisfy. Now the "default emotion" is loneliness, which lead to sadness. I believe I understand what you mean. His holiness the Dali Lama believes that our purpose in life is to be happy. However, he also believes that it takes a lot of work to get there.
Author internalChange Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 @Mr scorpio: Hey thanks for the encouragement, esp after a bad interview today =(. Guess we all got our own problem huh. I will try harder on the coming one! Best of luck with everything in life!
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