xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 She said she wasn't interested because she's confused about her orientation. It makes sense looking back at her behavior, but how much of it should I take with a grain of salt? Part of me thinks this is just a shock factor "it's not you, it's me" response, but all the correlations to it being true are there. I guess I'm asking is how much crap would y'all call and ladies, have y'all EVER used this as an excuse? Or is this just not one of those things to use as an excuse to give to someone? (Sorry for repost- messed up the title)
GorillaTheater Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Sounds like a load of crap to me, but it really doesn't matter. Someone who's not sure about their sexual orientation one way or the other isn't good relationship material. Nor is a person who'd use it as a lame excuse.
soccerrprp Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Sounds suspect. I mean, she went out with you, so at least she's bisexual, right? It sounds like she may not have been into you and used it as an excuse. I'd certainly be a little taken-aback if someone said that to me as an excuse for not wanting to see me again.
Author xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 I need to provide more of a backstory for this apparently. We were good friends and I developed feelings for her, like many do in these situations. I asked her out and got rejected, but it was the wording of the rejection that kept me dwelling on this. I was rejected by her a little over a year ago. Since then, I've come to accept there won't be an "us", but her reason was this, "I can't date a guy from Texas." I had no idea what that meant and obviously, it was hurtful. So, I'm fairly certain I still haven't gotten a true response and may never. I'm asking to help build consensus. Anyways, I accept the fact, kind of, and we continue to be friends. Then I graduate college and had to go home for the past year. That past year, there has been a significant amount of drama between us; to the point where I am wondering what the hell I'm doing. Example- i wanted to celebrate her graduation with her cause I was in town helping my brother move. She essentially gave me the cold shoulder. Various issues between us arose every few months or so, but the callousness of her actions and responses to me genuinely trying to be her friend are just ridiculous. Recently, I had a talk with her face to face and we discussed hosed oil repair our fractures friendship, which she seems like she wants and says she wants, but she's being incredibly selfish and has not done much reciprocation of friendship because of her "confusion" of who she is. So, another question I'm asking, is this worth salvaging? (Wasn't sure if I should have put this under friendship or dating)
Author xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 That's what my gut is telling me. That she's just making excuses, but I want to believe her. I obviously have doubts though
GorillaTheater Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 "I can't date a guy from Texas." Obviously a woman of low breeding and poor tastes. But seriously, what is there to salvage? She sounds like a pretty lousy "friend", let alone a worthy potential partner. 1
Author xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 Yeah, the Texas comment was a definite eyebrow raiser... I do know that it's her loss and she may regret it in the future, cause I know I have a lot to offer and I have plenty of things going for me (example:grad school). I guess I'm just holding on to who she was or I thought she was and I just don't want to let go of it. I know she's got potential, but alienation of people she claims that she cares about just doesn't make sense whatsoever to me. When were not having issues, everything is fine, but when she shells up and deflects everyone who actually cares about her, it makes me wonder. Regardless, she's moving in a few weeks. So, I guess my justification is: try to repair whatever I can until she moves and if it's looking hopeless by the time of the move- wish her luck. I've already tried long distance with her once... I told y' all how it went.
soccerrprp Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Is she Texan? She probably has a stereo-type of Texan men....too conservative politically and socially, etc.
Author xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 She's not. She just came here for college.
soccerrprp Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 She's not. She just came here for college. She has particular view and that is that Texans are not open-minded. Think about it. She's questioning her orientation, so her views are more liberal. Not compatible with a guy from Texas. That's her thinking I would imagine.
GorillaTheater Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 She has particular view and that is that Texans are not open-minded. Think about it. She's questioning her orientation, so her views are more liberal. Not compatible with a guy from Texas. That's her thinking I would imagine. To be clear, being a guy from Texas and all, I could care less about anybody's sexual orientation. It's just that a woman who's not sure she's into men would seem to be a poor prospect for a man, whether from Texas or Tengzhou. Doubly so if she's a bit of a bitch in the bargain.
soccerrprp Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 To be clear, being a guy from Texas and all, I could care less about anybody's sexual orientation. It's just that a woman who's not sure she's into men would seem to be a poor prospect for a man, whether from Texas or Tengzhou. Doubly so if she's a bit of a bitch in the bargain. Oh, I don't disagree. Not questioning anyone's views on differing sexual orientations. Just making an observation as to what she may have been referring to when she said that she couldn't date someone from TX.
Author xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 I understand, but that point of hers, for me, is irrelevant. I've no issue with homosexuality. Hell, my mom shows dogs and through that I've met many different kinds of people. I'm fairly moderate learning towards being liberal. Plus, she knows who I am. She should know that's not an issue. The significant mixed signals before February definitely didn't help. I could see on her face how jealous she got when I said I was talking to someone back home. Her mouth dropped open and she got fidgety. After I finished, she felt compelled to tell me about some guy that she failed with. The whole issue is a clusterf**k
Author xXCountryXx Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 So, the consensus is to drop her? Anyone else have any opinions? I'd like to get some female perspective
TheGuard13 Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 She said she wasn't interested. The why of it doesn't really matter. Move on.
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