Wambo Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I don't take any pride in posting this and I wished there was another way. However it look likes it's finally over for both of us and we can enter NC. This is the problem with working in the same building as the AP, the temptation is always there and makes entering NC even harder. In the recent weeks my former friend been acting strange. At first I believed she wanted to get a glimspe of me, but now it look like it's completely opposite. My former friend is to upset to walk past me and she struggles to be in my section too. In the past she would say hello to me whenever we walk past each other and it did help ease our situation. These convensation would always be brief and I never start any of them. It does feel bit wierd, I always thought contact between us would always continue as long we work in the same building. This is no longer the case because she had accepted I'm moving on and too upset to be close to me. Just a horrible way to end a good friendship.
psm04 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I don't take any pride in posting this and I wished there was another way. However it look likes it's finally over for both of us and we can enter NC. This is the problem with working in the same building as the AP, the temptation is always there and makes entering NC even harder. In the recent weeks my former friend been acting strange. At first I believed she wanted to get a glimspe of me, but now it look like it's completely opposite. My former friend is to upset to walk past me and she struggles to be in my section too. In the past she would say hello to me whenever we walk past each other and it did help ease our situation. These convensation would always be brief and I never start any of them. It does feel bit wierd, I always thought contact between us would always continue as long we work in the same building. This is no longer the case because she had accepted I'm moving on and too upset to be close to me. Just a horrible way to end a good friendship. Hi Wambo, I can relate to this. The past couple of weeks have been 'relieving', since one of us has been on vacation, so we haven't seen or talked to each other at all. However, he's coming back to work tomorrow, and part of me is terrified. I'm afraid that he'll say 'hi' to me on IM, and even though I KNOW that I'm not going to get back into the A, I might have the negative feelings again. He and I always said that we will keep in touch, but the longer we have been out of the A and maintaining minimal contact, the more I want to keep it that way, or completely stop talking. All it will take is for him to mention his wife in one conversation, and it'll be over for me again, and I'll be feeling like crap. In some ways, what you are experiencing is a good thing because it shows that she cared enough to not be able to let you go that easily and be buddies. I've wondered about the ease with which my xAp was just able to 'be friends' the next day, while I was struggling. I don't know if it is a guy thing or what. I've stopped contemplating and analyzing. It was driving me insane. It is sad and horrible like you said, but was a friendship that was based on secrets/lies really a friendship at all? If one of her family members passed away, would you be able to attend the funeral and give her a hug? If the same thing happened to you, would she come to support you? If she was in the hospital, could you go visit her? 1
thecharade Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Because of the unfinished nature of these types of relationships, "over" can be a complex, complicated emotional mess. It's not like other Rs where one person is done, not interested, and the other has to accept. It's "this way is better" and "I'll miss you forever" type stuff. It's pretty corny sounding, but this is what it's like ending an R because you have to instead of want to. Consequently, the feelings bounce all over. From "I'm fine" to "I can't believe he/she is fine" to "Over me?!!! Friggin' whatever!!!! Idiot!" And back again. Good luck navigating the emotional storm. In person? I could not have done it. So tough. 1
Author Wambo Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 It is sad and horrible like you said, but was a friendship that was based on secrets/lies really a friendship at all? If one of her family members passed away, would you be able to attend the funeral and give her a hug? If the same thing happened to you, would she come to support you? If she was in the hospital, could you go visit her? We used to be good friends before it turned into an emotional affair. This is why I found it so hard to accept reality. Not only had I strong feelings for her but I had to accept we can't be friends again either. It's a lose lose situation and on top of that I had to go through an emotional storm to break free from addiction. What I find the most tragic in my situation is she doesn't want to be friends again, instead she is treating me as her ex boyfriend and trying to continue the relationship.
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