djcos25 Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) I met this girl online and we met for drinks. I'll get right to the point - she is a big ball buster and a blunt person, she tells it like it is. I recently got out of a relationship, I haven't had much success with women. This is the first girl I've met where she is taking initiative in hanging out, asking me what my work schedule is (we both work 2 jobs), asking if I want to go here, etc. After the first time we met, she gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. Sometimes in text messages she calls me hun or sweetie. She invited me to go bowling this past Monday night, just me and her. It turned out to be a few of her friends from work (all guys). I didn't have a problem with it, and I'm not gonna be "that guy" and say no your friends can't come. Her friends were real cool. During the night she took photos, twice with me. She again kissed me on the cheek, she let me put my arms around her basically, I kissed her neck a few times, she sat on my lap twice, stuff like that. When I was bowling once she ran up to try and distract me. Afterwards I walked her to her car, I thought about kissing her but it was kind of creepy where she parked. No cars around, dimly lit. She gave me a hug and she started going in for a kiss so I went for it. Made out for a few minutes, we stopped then I started again. She asked if I wanted her to text me when she got home. I said yes, because she had been drinking. When she got home she asked if I was ok and that she was sorry. I didn't get a chance to ask why she was sorry, as she said goodnight. The next day I texted her saying I had fun, thanks for the invite and her friends seemed chill. Then I asked why she was sorry, she said she was sorry for being a mess and kissing me. I told her she wasn't a mess and you don't have to apologize for kissing me. I told her I wanted to but I didn't want to freak her out (again, because of where she parked). I told her I just hope she didn't regret it (I ment to say I hope it wasn't the alcohol that made you kiss me, but I messed up in the text like an idiot). She replied "You need to stop overthinking things." Instead of trying to explain myself, I thought screw it and just replied "sorry" and ended it. We had plans to meet up before I had work (nothing set as to what to do) and before I could ask what the plans were she said she was gonna stay home, they were painting in the bathroom and she couldn't even shower. I texted her later that night after work, texted back and forth a little. She just showered and she had a headache all day. I figured that's why she didn't text me, she wasn't feeling good. Usually we text a few times a day. I'm gonna wait for her to text me now. I don't want to overdue me texting first. She invited me to go to Autumfest this Saturday, I asked her yesterday if we were still on and she said yes (she asked me last weekend). My friends told me I got nothing to worry about, but why do I feel like I already shot myself in the foot? Edited October 9, 2013 by djcos25
Lansing Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 You are worrying too much. You need to be more confident. She sounds interested in you and you might sabotage it by worrying too much about what she thinks of you. Just because someone doesn't text you one day doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Assume she likes you, assume you are going out on Saturday. Don't "chase" her but at the same time lead when you are together. 1
Author djcos25 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) It's not that I'm not confident, she let me put my arms around her, she sat on my lap and we made out afterwards. I felt good about that part. The thing that I'm worrying about is what I said in the text, I said "I hope you don't regret kissing me" I said that cause she had been drinking. I meant to say I hope it wasn't the alcohol that made you kiss me and now she maybe regrets it. Of course, I texted the wrong thing. I was fine until she apologized for kissing me. Why I have no idea. My friends think she said sorry because she didn't want the kiss to happen like that. I mean if she didn't want to kiss me she wouldn't have at all, right? Hell, after we left the bowling ally, I got to the light, I had to go left, she had to go straight. When she turned her head and saw me she started laughing, blew me a kiss and waved as she drove off. Edited October 9, 2013 by djcos25
Author djcos25 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) Good news. I got home from getting lunch with a friend, and like my other friends, he too told me not to worry about it. I got home, started cutting the grass and I get a phone call from her. We basically talked like how we usually do, nothing was awkward or anything. She told me she just wanted to give me a call before she went into work, and I can text her if I want. I made no mention of what I've been nervous about. Even though I wanted to originally, I just kept my mouth shut. I also told her I talked to my friend today who told me about the Softball tournament I'm in this Saturday. I knew about the tournament before the Autumnfest, and my friend needs players. I said to her that he clarified that it should end around mid-afternoon, and that I'm still up for going to Autumnfest with her. She said cool and we're still on. When we got off the phone she said bye sweetie. So uh.. yea.. I feel better haha. Edited October 9, 2013 by djcos25 1
Author djcos25 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 Just would like some advice, sorry to keep bumping my thread. In regards to my previous post, she told me I could text her at work and she could sneak a peak at her phone from time to time. I texted her around 8 PM and said "hey hope you're having a good night at work." She worked until 9:30 PM. It's 5 PM the next day and I haven't heard from her. Any advice? I'm pretty sure the text I sent last night went through lol.
todreaminblue Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 just wait until she texts you .....sounds all good...maybe it didnt go through, mayeb she hasnt read it maybe hr phones flat...nwo that si overhtinking...lol...just stay calm...and wait for her to text you......deb
tlegend Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Just would like some advice, sorry to keep bumping my thread. In regards to my previous post, she told me I could text her at work and she could sneak a peak at her phone from time to time. I texted her around 8 PM and said "hey hope you're having a good night at work." She worked until 9:30 PM. It's 5 PM the next day and I haven't heard from her. Any advice? I'm pretty sure the text I sent last night went through lol. You need to check yourself before this turns into infatuation. Shes into you. She has a busy life, but she is clearly giving you the signs to continue pusuing her. Best of luck and let us know what happens! PS - Yeah, another vote to not overthink things and take the lead when you are together. She also apologized for probably kissing you while she was drunk. She wanted to kiss you, its clear, but I bet the alcohol sped up her timetable. Also, the fact that she invited you to go bowling with a bunch of her work friends is a good sign. It means that she was showing you off, and also letting everyone else simultaneously know that she was taken. Shes definitely into you. Don't **** it up.
Author djcos25 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 Thanks for the quick replies. I'm just like that with everyone. If someone tells me to text them, and I do and don't get a reply its like "What the hell?" lol. Its just rather new for me, this whole situation. I've never had a girl take this much initiative with me, or even give me this much attention. Its nice, don't get me wrong.
Author djcos25 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 I forgot to ask you guys this. She invited me to Autumnfest Saturday. I still don't know if I'm meeting up with her or we're driving together or what. If tomorrow comes and I still haven't heard from her would it be alright to text her? Maybe see how her day was and then ask what the plans are?
tlegend Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 I forgot to ask you guys this. She invited me to Autumnfest Saturday. I still don't know if I'm meeting up with her or we're driving together or what. If tomorrow comes and I still haven't heard from her would it be alright to text her? Maybe see how her day was and then ask what the plans are? I personally like knowing at least a barebones plan. (I.e. transportation, times, etc) If I were you, I would probably text and figure that stuff out pretty quickly. It can even be something along the lines of "hey, did you want me to pick you up around XXXAM/PM (after your thing) or were you going to meet me there? I'm excited to hang out with you!" But then again, she doesn't like me, does she? So, I think whatever you choose to do, she will probably like it. 1
Author djcos25 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 Yeah same here. I too like to plan stuff out ahead of time. The problem is I'm not sure what time exactly the Softball tournament ends. We are guaranteed 3 games. Am I the only one here who just finds it odd she told me to text her at work, I did and I never got a response? lol.
Lansing Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 You are going to screw this up if you keep thinking too much. Maybe she saw your text and it made her smile. She had no reason to respond back to your text. It wasn't like you asked her anything or were starting a conversation. You should just TAKE THE LEAD. Tell her "hey, so, what time should I pick you up on Saturday" or... just wait until you are done your game on Saturday and heading back to shower or whatever and tell her the game is wrapped up and you will see her soon, whatever, You are overthinking things WAY too much.
Author djcos25 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 You are going to screw this up if you keep thinking too much. Maybe she saw your text and it made her smile. She had no reason to respond back to your text. It wasn't like you asked her anything or were starting a conversation. You should just TAKE THE LEAD. Tell her "hey, so, what time should I pick you up on Saturday" or... just wait until you are done your game on Saturday and heading back to shower or whatever and tell her the game is wrapped up and you will see her soon, whatever, You are overthinking things WAY too much. Yeah true. I'll give her a text tomorrow and see where things go. I'll basically know this weekend. She's off on Saturdays so if she ends up blowing me off then I'll move on.
Author djcos25 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 Just a small update. I texted her this morning and she texted right back within a minute. She told me she's got bronchitis though. Monday when we went bowling she was just getting over being sick, she also smokes. Me: Hey good morning, how are you? Her: I'm good. Just sick... I think I got bronchitis from smoking don't worry you can't crack it. (I think she meant catch it? lol) Me: That sucks. My Dad had it once. You still going to work? Her: Yeah. Me: I don't know how you're doing it. I'd be bed ridden if I had bronchitis lol. How bad is it though? Her: Can't stop coughing last night I choked on a drink couldn't breath had an asthma attack trying to drink. Me: That sucks. Try to get some rest. I was gonna ask if you wanted to drive up tomorrow but if your sick you wanna stay home and rest? Her: I'll let you know tomorrow how I feel. Me: Ok. I left it at that. Figured I'd just post the whole conversation, it was rather brief. What I'll do is if I don't hear from her tomorrow after my games I'll text her. Seems like when she's sick she doesn't text much. I'll give her the benifit of the doubt though. She's still texting me lol. My friend was right, the beginning is always the hardest.
Author djcos25 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 So everything is going fine on my end, although something odd happened last night. In the softball tournament we ended up playing 5 games. I was beat after but I still wanted to meet up with her. I texted her around 3:30, she didn't get back until a few hours later saying she was busy, but asked me where I was going to watch the Red Sox game and she'd meet up. I was going with a friend. I get to the bar at the same time, I saw her in front of me trying to park. There's not a lot of spaces to park. The lot gets full real quick and you have to park next door at the gas station. I'm watching her try to find a spot to park, suddenly she drives off! I'm standing there with my friend wondering what the hell just happened. She calls me and said she's had a bad day, frustrated with trying to park and that she's going home. I was annoyed but tried to downplay it. She texted me later saying sorry, I said hope things get better. She asked me if I wanted to go to an art festival on Sunday. I texted her today and she tells me shes hung over. I asked if we were still on for the art festival, she said when she feels better. She never officially cancelled on me, but she was beating around the bush, saying she was being lazy, had a headache, etc. We texted a little bit throughout the day. Lately it seems like she makes plans with me then cancels. While she did come out last night to meet me, it didn't matter because she left after like 2 minutes. I thought that was kind of a low blow. Any advice going forward?
Author djcos25 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Hate bumping threads but anyone?
GB25 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 (edited) Honestly she sounds pretty flakey to me..and not 100% interested. Dont get me wrong i am sure she likes you and has fun, but the difference seems to be that YOU are making her a priority and she does not seem to make you her priority She keeps asking you to do stuff and then when push comes to shove she gets all wishy washy about it.. Tries to find parking then drives off bc parking was annoying?? wtf i'd be kinda pissed..the asks you to go to the art fair and then pretty much cancels.. yeah id keep hanging with her if she really made it happen and initiated.. I think you are wasting way to much time with this girl who seems to be elsewhere..go date a girl who will be reliable..she doesnt seem to be How old are you guys? Edited October 15, 2013 by GB25
Author djcos25 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 She is 26 and I'm 27. I didn't text her yesterday and honestly, I don't think I'm texting her again. We're still friends on Facebook, and this morning she put up a status: "That moment he calls you and you talk for hours...." It was nice getting the attention that she gave me, I never got that before. But like I said earlier, what she did Saturday night, I thought was a low blow.
truth_seeker Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Delete and block her from Facebook. If she contacts you by text, tell her: "I'm seeing someone else and am very happy! She's great! I wish you the best in finding a man!" 1
myothernic2 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Hate bumping threads but anyone? It seems like she drinks a lot.. Maybe she did you a favor.
Author djcos25 Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 Figured I'd share the end to this story. After Saturday where she came out to meet me and only left cause of lack of parking, then Sunday where we had plans but she bailed on me (without actually bailing on me, if that makes sense), 3 days went by where I didn't text her or hear from her. I ended up deleting her from my phone and off of facebook. The 4th night I was getting drinks with another girl. Guess who texts me? She asked what I've been up to and why did I delete her off facebook. I should have said because you make plans but then bail on me. I didn't, I gave her an excuse thinking she did it. I re-added her. A day goes by I text her, we text back and forth a little bit. A few more days go by, just wanted to see where this would go, I text her again. "Hey whats up" "Hello" "How's your vacation going?" *3 hours later* "Good" "When we hanging out again?" Never heard from her. Deleted from my phone and facebook again lol. Oh well. Shouldn't have made plans and bail on me or asked to meet up, come out only to leave haha.
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