hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) I met a girl from a dating site. We had a good first date, and she followed me home and slept over. We never slept,but cuddled all night(no sex). She sent me a message, next day telling me she had a fantastic evening and wanted to see me again. We wrote to each other every day, and we finally met again, and she came to my place. I was however drunk when she come. So she wanted to leave. when she left, i sent her like 7 messages, where i threatened here, like i know where you live, and im going to make revenge etc(i was really really drunk). Next day i sent a very well written message where i apologised. She sent me back that she doesnt want to have any contact with me again whatsoever. you sent messages where you threatened me. Dont contact me in anyway in the future. I wrote back: i understand. I cant do anything about that. Thanks for letting me now. i will drop this. i blocked her on the dating website, and she loggined in quite shortly thereafter(ive another account so i can see that). Since that, she hasnt been logging in for one week now, even though she usually loggined in like once a day. Im just wondering, are my chances completely zero with her? Will she maybe change her mind and contact me again? Im not going to contact her again, but i hope she does... Edited October 9, 2013 by hardlover
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 You will never hear from her again. She is likely afraid for her own safety. You really need some help to address why you feel it's okay to threaten and intimidate women, has this ever happened before? You don't even seem that remorseful, that's the scary part. 'I wrote her a very well written message apologising' as though that negates what you did. If I had been in her position I'd have called the police. 3
Mascara Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Yes, you have totally blown it with her. Work on your psychopathic tendencies. Drunk my arse. I don't any men who threaten women when they're drunk unless they're already that kind of person. 3
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 You will never hear from her again. She is likely afraid for her own safety. You really need some help to address why you feel it's okay to threaten and intimidate women, has this ever happened before? You don't even seem that remorseful, that's the scary part. 'I wrote her a very well written message apologising' as though that negates what you did. If I had been in her position I'd have called the police. Im really remorseful, and this has never happened before. I just got so sad that she left me so early, and this sadness turned into anger. I was really drunk, had been drinking 700 ml bottle of vodka :/
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I just read back through some of your old posts dating four years back, where you talk about stalking and how you called someone's phone 30 times the day you split, and have Aspergers. It sounds like you're having a lot of difficulty in beginning and maintaining appropriate relationships with women without causing them to feel concerned by your behaviour. I really think you could use some therapy to understand where you're going wrong and how to relate to partners more appropriately, or this kind of thing is just going to keep on happening. 2
Mascara Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I've just read your brief posting history. You SERIOUSLY need help.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Im really remorseful, and this has never happened before. I just got so sad that she left me so early, and this sadness turned into anger. I was really drunk, had been drinking 700 ml bottle of vodka :/ Look, you blew this. Completely. And that poor girl is probably terrified of you now. Have you ever had therapy? Do you drink that much alcohol on a regular basis? How old are you anyway?
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 I just read back through some of your old posts dating four years back, where you talk about stalking and how you called someone's phone 30 times the day you split, and have Aspergers. It sounds like you're having a lot of difficulty in beginning and maintaining appropriate relationships with women without causing them to feel concerned by your behaviour. I really think you could use some therapy to understand where you're going wrong and how to relate to partners more appropriately, or this kind of thing is just going to keep on happening. These things are hard wired into who i am. Ive aged and do things somewhat better. For instance,me 5 years ago,would still have contacted her. Today, i stopped contacting her. THings are improving....
Mascara Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Then work on "who you are" before you end up in the newspaper for all the wrong reasons. Do you understand you could go to jail for what you did? 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 These things are hard wired into who i am. Ive aged and do things somewhat better. For instance,me 5 years ago,would still have contacted her. Today, i stopped contacting her. THings are improving.... That's good, it sounds like things are slowly getting better for you. Have you done this on your own, or with the help of a counsellor or therapist? I wonder if you'd be able to improve even further if you had some support. It's really not cool to do what you did and it's worrying if your actions feel out of control when you've been drinking. Plenty of us have issues hard-wired into us, but it's always possible to improve ourselves and our behaviour, little by little, if we really want to, even with a disadvantage such as Aspergers. 1
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 Look, you blew this. Completely. And that poor girl is probably terrified of you now. Have you ever had therapy? Do you drink that much alcohol on a regular basis? How old are you anyway? nah just in the beginning while dating a girl. it helps my aspergers and make more relaexed and normal. Nah never had therepay. I promise you, my improvements in the social department are enourmous. Just now im focusing on respecting people. This happened because i was completely drunk... So now im thinking about setting rules on how much to drink...Im really sad. This girl was really into me and we connected really well. THanks for letting me know about this, so i dont get any hopes. I will just leave her alone...
Lansing Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 You might think that the booze is helping you and are using it to "Self-medicate" but it obviously didn't help you in this situation. You have to work on self-control (i.e. not drinking almost a whole bottle! Surprised that didn't make you super sick/etc). I really would look into other treatment for your asperger's vs. just self medicating. Maybe cognitive behaviour therapy. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 nah just in the beginning while dating a girl. it helps my aspergers and make more relaexed and normal. Nah never had therepay. I promise you, my improvements in the social department are enourmous. Just now im focusing on respecting people. This happened because i was completely drunk... So now im thinking about setting rules on how much to drink... Good idea. Alcohol might feel as though it loosens you up and makes it easier to relate to people, but it also lowers your inhibitions and can contribute to you acting in ways you'd never dream of if you were sober. You really shouldn't drink when you're dating if this is what happens.
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) Im still wondering: after i sent the message that i understand, i cant do anything about it. thanks for letting me know, i will drop this, she loggined in to the dating site. i had blocked her, which i think she saw. after that she hasnnt logged in for one week, even though she usually loggined daily. What does that tell? That she is afraid, or that the datingsite is a letdown? The seven messages i sent were very misspelled, where 3 of them were threatining like, i will hang you out, i know where youj live, coupled with: why did youj leave me, i hate you, i was kinda in love with you, etc. ANd she was really interested in the beginning. What im trying to say, is that if i dont contact her, will she maybe change her mind, because she knew i moved on, and isnt as psycho as she thought? And beside this drunken day, ive been nice to her and very friendly, and when she was at my home while i was drunk for 30 minute, i was nice as well. It was when she left, and i called her 2 times, annd she didnt answer, that i got so angry and sent those messages.. Edited October 9, 2013 by hardlover
clia Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 There is 0% chance she is going to change her mind. Seriously. You threatened her. Beyond that you sounded like a lunatic. Don't you understand how scary that is? I wouldn't find it hard at all to believe that she left the dating site because she met you and you scared the crap out of her. Leave her alone. 1
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 There is 0% chance she is going to change her mind. Seriously. You threatened her. Beyond that you sounded like a lunatic. Don't you understand how scary that is? I wouldn't find it hard at all to believe that she left the dating site because she met you and you scared the crap out of her. Leave her alone. I know the ony chance to get her back, is to leave her alone, since contacting her again would make me look really psycho... So ye, im 100% going to leave her alone. I was just hoping that she would change her mind.. But if she wrote the message i dont want any more contact with you whatsoever. you sent messages threatining me. Dont contact me in anyway in the future. I think if a girl writes that, she means what she is saying. Im still wondedring how she interpreted this message from me: i understand. i cant do anything about that. thanks for letting me know. i will drop this. and then she saw that i blocked her. does she think that i moved on and reliefed?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Im still wondering: after i sent the message that i understand, i cant do anything about it. thanks for letting me know, i will drop this, she loggined in to the dating site. i had blocked her, which i think she saw. after that she hasnnt logged in for one week, even though she usually loggined daily. What does that tell? That she is afraid, or that the datingsite is a letdown? The seven messages i sent were very misspelled, where 3 of them were threatining like, i will hang you out, i know where youj live, coupled with: why did youj leave me, i hate you, i was kinda in love with you, etc. ANd she was really interested in the beginning. What im trying to say, is that if i dont contact her, will she maybe change her mind, because she knew i moved on, and isnt as psycho as she thought? And beside this drunken day, ive been nice to her and very friendly, and when she was at my home while i was drunk for 30 minute, i was nice as well. It was when she left, and i called her 2 times, annd she didnt answer, that i got so angry and sent those messages.. You scared her. You threatened her and she is wise to stay the hell away from you. Do NOT contact her and do NOT expect her to come back. I wouldn't. If that's how you behave with alcohol, you need to put the damn bottle down forever. In her mind, it's completely irrelevant that you've made "enormous" changes. You're still a long, long way from being able to have a healthy relationship. Do you understand that your behaviour could constitute harassment in some areas?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I know the ony chance to get her back, is to leave her alone, since contacting her again would make me look really psycho... So ye, im 100% going to leave her alone. I was just hoping that she would change her mind.. But if she wrote the message i dont want any more contact with you whatsoever. you sent messages threatining me. Dont contact me in anyway in the future. I think if a girl writes that, she means what she is saying. Im still wondedring how she interpreted this message from me: i understand. i cant do anything about that. thanks for letting me know. i will drop this. and then she saw that i blocked her. does she think that i moved on and reliefed? OP, she is probably glad to be rid of you. I doubt she gives a flying rat's arse that you blocked her. I sure as hell wouldn't. Block away!
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) Im just so sad. Im a very very good looking guy 192 cm tall, probably a 10 out of 10.Im very charming and self confident. Im smart. done real iq test, 145. Im 25 years old and earn approximately 10000 usd dollar every month. Ive had sex with like 100 girls. im like the perfect package, except that i got this ****ing aspergers. its ****ing everything up. I know that, so i decided that i would stay single forever, that im not meant for having a relationship. with this ****ing girl, i made an exception, i didnt **** her the first night, because she was a freaking 9 out of 10, and still nice personality(how common is that?). I thought i would be perfect with her. And i wanted to be really charming,outgoing, and made the illogical thought that the more i drink, the better i would be at the date -_- its not just aspergers, im sure ive some psychopath tendencies as well. Imm trying my best to be a nice guy. Maybe i can be that 10 times if i focus, but the 15 time i will screw up. im doing everything i can to mimic the nice guy. Because i know it will benefit me in the long run... Edited October 9, 2013 by hardlover
soccerrprp Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Im just so sad. Im a very very good looking guy 192 cm tall, probably a 10 out of 10.Im very charming and self confident. Im smart. done real iq test, 145. Im 25 years old and earn approximately 10000 usd dollar every month. Ive had sex with like 100 girls. im like the perfect package, except that i got this ****ing aspergers. its ****ing everything up. I know that, so i decided that i would stay single forever, that im not meant for having a relationship. with this ****ing girl, i made an exception, i didnt **** her the first night, because she was a freaking 9 out of 10, and still nice personality(how common is that?). I thought i would be perfect with her. And i wanted to be really charming,outgoing, and made the illogical thought that the more i drink, the better i would be at the date -_- its not just aspergers, im sure ive some psychopath tendencies as well. Imm trying my best to be a nice guy. Maybe i can be that 10 times if i focus, bon the 15 time i will **** up. But, most importantly, you are dangerous and unstable at times. You need to work on yourself w/o relying on alcohol to help. Good luck.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Im just so sad. Im a very very good looking guy 192 cm tall, probably a 10 out of 10.Im very charming and self confident. Im smart. done real iq test, 145. Im 25 years old and earn approximately 10000 usd dollar every month. Ive had sex with like 100 girls. im like the perfect package, except that i got this ****ing aspergers. its ****ing everything up. I know that, so i decided that i would stay single forever, that im not meant for having a relationship. with this ****ing girl, i made an exception, i didnt **** her the first night, because she was a freaking 9 out of 10, and still nice personality(how common is that?). I thought i would be perfect with her. And i wanted to be really charming,outgoing, and made the illogical thought that the more i drink, the better i would be at the date -_- its not just aspergers, im sure ive some psychopath tendencies as well. Imm trying my best to be a nice guy. Maybe i can be that 10 times if i focus, but the 15 time i will screw up. im doing everything i can to mimic the nice guy. Because i know it will benefit me in the long run... Right. Awesome. Do you share those tidbits with your dates, too?
truth_seeker Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I saw this line on LS written by someone else: drunken words are sober thoughts. It applies here. You're one unstable guy with some issues. This girl should NEVER contact you again unless she's a loser looking to be abused.
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 of course not. I never boast about anything on dates. I almost never say weird stuff even though ive got aspegers. Im friendly,nice, flirtatious and funny, and self confident. I think ive showed my salarycheck to a really ugly girl i took home once, because i didnt care about my attraction level sinking in her eyes....
Author hardlover Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 I saw this line on LS written by someone else: drunken words are sober thoughts. It applies here. You're one unstable guy with some issues. This girl should NEVER contact you again unless she's a loser looking to be abused. Im very well aware of this, and im still wondering where these things come from? Im trying too look deep within myself to rid myself of the dark things that still exist. Im trying to rewire myself into a nice guy. I think its about me getting very angry when i feelt i been treated in a wrong way. and im easly angry when someone looks down on me or dont like me, or when i get a rejection. Im still thinking about it, and dont know how to change these thoiught patterns....someone good with psychology?
heartshaped Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 If you can afford it, and from what you've said you can, seek therapy. I don't think you're a bad guy, but these issues you have as you said yourself are ruining your life. This is bigger than something you can cope with on your own. You need to seek a professional that can help you to work through these things and overcome them.
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