Jay C Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) after our breakup, me and my ex agreed to be friends. we promised not to badmouth each other to our friends and families. things were okay for a while and we were on friendly terms, we hung out still, everything was the same, just not romantically. about a couple of weeks later my ex, and all her friends and family suddenly start blocking me from all social media. i asked my ex why everyone is blocking me at the same time, she responds "idk, i didn't say anything." it really got to me, because we promised to be in each others lives, and i feel that she's hiding something from me now. i found out she has pictures with some guy, i can't confirm or deny if they're together or not. i asked her if she has someone new, and she told me i'm insecure and make things up. told me "i'm hanging out with all my friends." my ex does have a lot of close guy friends, and i honestly got jealous and accused her of cheating a few times. i found out that they're even gay, so nothing is what it seems. i've been going crazy for her blocking me, i just want the truth from her. do i have the right to be suspicious, or am i insecure, overthinking things and she just need space from me? Edited October 9, 2013 by Jay C
ponchsox Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Who do people get so offended when you get unfriended after a breakup? It's a form of contact and both of you need NC. I unfriended my ex GF the night she broke up with me. Several months down the road, when I'm completely over her romantically, I may friend her again as a friend, I may not. 2
Author Jay C Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 Who do people get so offended when you get unfriended after a breakup? It's a form of contact and both of you need NC. I unfriended my ex GF the night she broke up with me. Several months down the road, when I'm completely over her romantically, I may friend her again as a friend, I may not. in my situation, i think she left me for another man and she's hiding it. it was just weird how all her family and friends started blocking me too, i didn't do anything wrong.
reddragon588 Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 She's right. You're not together anymore you have no right to be upset over who she is with. This is why being friends with an ex doesn't work. If you can't handle her being with someone else, you need to end the "friendship".
Chi townD Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Sounds like there's someone else. But, at this point, so what. You're not her boyfriend, lover or anything. You have no title with her. AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE FRIENDS WITH HER!!! You can be friends with someone you still have romantic feelings for! I'm guessing that she didn't turn her friends and family against you. I have a feeling that she finally made her relationship public and her friends and family said, "Oh sh*t" and are blocking you the pain of seeing anything in their news feeds about it. Dude, do some blocking of your own and go No Contact with her. Ignore all texts and phonecalls and move on with your life. Time to start making positive changes. See the world, travel! Have adventures! You're free to do so! 1
organizedchaos Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 after our breakup, me and my ex agreed to be friends. we promised not to badmouth each other to our friends and families. things were okay for a while and we were on friendly terms, we hung out still, everything was the same, just not romantically. about a couple of weeks later my ex, and all her friends and family suddenly start blocking me from all social media. i asked my ex why everyone is blocking me at the same time, she responds "idk, i didn't say anything." it really got to me, because we promised to be in each others lives, and i feel that she's hiding something from me now. i found out she has pictures with some guy, i can't confirm or deny if they're together or not. i asked her if she has someone new, and she told me i'm insecure and make things up. told me "i'm hanging out with all my friends." my ex does have a lot of close guy friends, and i honestly got jealous and accused her of cheating a few times. i found out that they're even gay, so nothing is what it seems. i've been going crazy for her blocking me, i just want the truth from her. do i have the right to be suspicious, or am i insecure, overthinking things and she just need space from me? You have no right to anything! You're not her boyfriend anymore! Why are you still in contact with her? You are only making this harder on yourself, which is evident based on this post. 1
Author Jay C Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 You have no right to anything! You're not her boyfriend anymore! Why are you still in contact with her? You are only making this harder on yourself, which is evident based on this post. we agreed to be friends, its a long story. i'm just trippin because all the sudden i'm given the cold shoulder. we broke up because she couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, didn't want to be a team player. it sucks because she's with maybe with this other guy, and not me, so i was being lied to.
organizedchaos Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 we agreed to be friends, its a long story. i'm just trippin because all the sudden i'm given the cold shoulder. we broke up because she couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, didn't want to be a team player. it sucks because she's with maybe with this other guy, and not me, so i was being lied to. And you shouldn't be concerned about any of this or putting yourself in a position to be upset by what she's doing. She doesn't owe you anything and you should have zero expectations right now. You are killing yourself b/c you're remaining in contact and haven't let go. 1
Hippie Lady Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Similar situation, my partner left me saying "they need to be free to find themselves, they can't be with anyone right now..." Next day they're pursuing someone they had been having an emotional affair with. I believe it's just their guilt trying to make them and you feel better, by lying to you or deceiving you. Also they gain the power by lying to you instead of just being honest with you and really hurting your feelings. If they really hurt your feelings and blamed them self for their role in the partnership ending, they would have to confront or question their loss more and hey, then you might actually hold on to NC, move on and realize you deserve someone who treats you with respect, communicates problems and doesn't lead you along while they're trying to decide if the grass is greener or 'different'. What I'm trying to say is, it's better to look at it like, yes you've probably been lied to by a person you thought 'loved' you, maybe they did at one point. No one can control their emotions, but they can control their actions and how they treat someone in the process. It's cowardly and not in the best interest of the dumpee to gaslight someone and block them out, but as everyone is saying they owe you nothing. Think about that. Just my thoughts, I'm at 3 weeks NC, it's difficult.
Author Jay C Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 i understand. but would you guys think i'm insecure? i tend to over-analyze things, and over thinking is making me have negative thoughts, hence why i do need to use NC.
organizedchaos Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 i understand. but would you guys think i'm insecure? i tend to over-analyze things, and over thinking is making me have negative thoughts, hence why i do need to use NC. You can't over analyze and get negative thoughts if you don't know what she's up to. It's hard, and I'm in the same boat. YOu can only spare your hurt if you disappear from her existence.
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