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Posted

Hey guys. I'm currently going through a breakup with my fiance of 6 years that I currently live with. Sure I'm upset about us breaking up. But the more I think about it the more I realize, I'm more upset about moving and trying to find a mew place to live in a short amount of time than the loss of my relationship!

 

Anyone else have this?

 

What was the complete worst aspect of your break up?

Posted

The worst part for me was leaving work and forgetting that I wasn't going to his apt. Driving partial way there then remembering and having to turn around. That is over now but used to hit me so hard in the moment. Now the worst part is waking up in the middle of the night to a cold bed.

Posted

The pain which with a lot of work is subsiding.

Posted

Realizing I wasted my time. Was played out. Was used. Was never loved.

 

But it's ok, I'm good now. :) You will be too.

Posted

A friend once told me that a large part of the problem is being inconvenienced. You didn't plan to be single today. You didn't plan on transitioning. You didn't plan on starting over.

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Posted

Worst for me was the anger stage. Anger at my ex, anger mainly at myself for staying in something so toxic and for allowing him to treat me so poorly. I was pretty much Satan for a good 6 months. I could never be happy, I didn't genuinely enjoy life... everything revolved around cursing my ex, harping on what I allowed to go on... just hatred and violent thoughts always. By far the worst is being angry 24/7.

Posted

As someone who was with someone 8 years, and lived together a good month after the BU before he moved out, I can honestly say I felt the same as you.

 

Were you the dumpee?

 

It hit me hard about a month later, when the reality of it was so in my face I couldn't just brush it off like I could before. Month 2 was by far the worst for me -when it all sinks in.

Posted

Contingent on the level of the relation any of the following held true :

 

(1) The reminders , of their not being around. A sound or an aroma they had.

(2) The day to day habits - like calling them to see how they are

(3) The Bad memories flashes- Catching them with someone else...That took along time to get over....

(4) Getting rid of things we shared....The photos, the momentos...The families , friends we had together.

 

The physical moving is nothing compared to the getting "over" the relations....

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Posted
As someone who was with someone 8 years, and lived together a good month after the BU before he moved out, I can honestly say I felt the same as you.

 

Were you the dumpee?

 

It hit me hard about a month later, when the reality of it was so in my face I couldn't just brush it off like I could before. Month 2 was by far the worst for me -when it all sinks in.

 

Indeed I was the dumpee. I'm thinking perhaps I haven't hit my two months yet. I'm not even out of the house yet so I still have to look at his face even if I don't want to. I'm trying to be optimistic of my future without him, in my new home. Perhaps I'm being naive haha. But I hope it doesn't sink in like a bag of bricks.

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