Gisss Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 These days after lots of doubts and fights, my MM and I are spending really nice days together. We don't even have sex! Maybe that is what was missing (no sex) LOL. I think the W is ok with our spending time together and she is happy too. And... I finally feel happy and secure with him. So.. Hope it lasts!
bentleychic Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Reality: wife has no idea, MM isnt initiating sex b/c he's gotten it from her this week, and thats why she's "happy". What makes you think wife knows and is ok with your R with her husband? What are you secure in? For me, what is love without a future? Unless he's filing for divorce, or you are content with being his OW indefinitely, then what are you feeling secure about? Sorry to play devil advocate, but c'mon. I just sense a bit of unhealthy delusion. Might want to read her original post w/ the back ground story. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/429683-seems-hard-task-learn-how-other-woman 1
thefooloftheyear Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Alrighty then. That was great..thanks!...:laugh: TFY
keesy14 Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 ? She said that she thinks the wife is happy too - I guess I missed where the wife is/was crying? He told her he loves me and that he will never ever leave me because it was really hard for him to get me (one year in which he never gave up). She cried a lot but in the end she said "I don't want to lose you, I love you and accept everything you do and feel. If that's what makes you happy I'm happy. too". I don't know how it will all end but I love him as I never loved someone else before. W do lots of things together. She receives me in their house and we have meals together... It is like he has two women! I know she suffers sometimes but as she lives with him and because of all the time they've been together I also know she is more secure than me. 10 characters
Author Gisss Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 Reality: wife has no idea, MM isnt initiating sex b/c he's gotten it from her this week, and thats why she's "happy". What makes you think wife knows and is ok with your R with her husband? What are you secure in? For me, what is love without a future? Unless he's filing for divorce, or you are content with being his OW indefinitely, then what are you feeling secure about? Sorry to play devil advocate, but c'mon. I just sense a bit of unhealthy delusion. Well. I'm sure she knows because she told me that she knows he loves me but that she also knows that he loves her. I know that yesterday he told her that he loves me a lot and she said that it's ok for her and that she's trying to understand that mess, as I do. I don't know if there's a future but the only thing I know is that I love him, he loves me back and she loves him and he cares about her a lot so, for now that's all I (the three of us) care about. =)
Author Gisss Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 People! I said that these days we are having great times together! that's all I said and wanted to share it with you =) I also wrote after lots of doubts and fights... ^^
peaksandvalleys Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Well. I'm sure she knows because she told me that she knows he loves me but that she also knows that he loves her. I know that yesterday he told her that he loves me a lot and she said that it's ok for her and that she's trying to understand that mess, as I do. I don't know if there's a future but the only thing I know is that I love him, he loves me back and she loves him and he cares about her a lot so, for now that's all I (the three of us) care about. =) Maybe she will go get a partner too if she is okay with the two of you. Open marriages are good for some people.
legalgirl Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Just be happy, it's your life. You don't need verification from anyone on here. No one can dictate what makes you happy but you! 3
Artie Lang Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) blows my mind how two seemingly smart- although, very naïve -women would be content and willing to share a POS such as this guy. what has the world come to??? Edited October 9, 2013 by Artie Lang 3
Author Gisss Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 blows my mind how two seemingly smart- although, very naïve -women would be content and willing to share a POS such as this guy. what has the world come to??? I don't understand it either. But I don't want to think about it. I'm just enjoying these days and hope it never ends.
Author Gisss Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 I wrote it here... These days were the most wonderful days with my MM. Today I noticed that he was different with me, he was more like in a "I don't care about it anymore" attitude. I got very sad. I talked to a friend and she... She did it. She said everything I didn't want to hear. Yes, the he doesn't love you, doesn't care about you and won't give you a future thing... It tortured me. I was pretty happy with him. He was the person that made me the happiest person in the world, he made me feel loved, secure, realized... But all she said really hurt me. So, what did I do? I break it up with him. I told him everything she told me but as they were my words. I know I hurt him. Well, that's what he said to me. He said he's not going to contact me anymore and that he will disappear for some time. I'm so hurt. I need him. But I know that's the right thing to do... Wish I be strong enough to face it. Wish me the best!
happy stillmore Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I know it all seems complicated but in reality, it really isn't. First, life not lived openly and honestly is not a good life to live. It only leads to further lies. Lastly, actions speak louder than words. Seriously, that is all that is needed when making decisions about relationships. Do what is best for you. Go with your inner voice. Good thoughts. 3
Author Gisss Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 I know it all seems complicated but in reality, it really isn't. First, life not lived openly and honestly is not a good life to live. It only leads to further lies. Lastly, actions speak louder than words. Seriously, that is all that is needed when making decisions about relationships. Do what is best for you. Go with your inner voice. Good thoughts. Thanks for your words =) I know it's the best thing I could ever do.
MissBee Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 These days after lots of doubts and fights, my MM and I are spending really nice days together. We don't even have sex! Maybe that is what was missing (no sex) LOL. I think the W is ok with our spending time together and she is happy too. And... I finally feel happy and secure with him. So.. Hope it lasts! So he is in an open relationship?
unicorn farts Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Good luck Gisss. You deserve a man that will treat you well and give you his whole heart. I wish the best for you! 1
Bluebelle38 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Why would any woman want a man like this one? Talk about setting the bar really, really low. 1
waytogo Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Well. I'm sure she knows because she told me that she knows he loves me but that she also knows that he loves her. I know that yesterday he told her that he loves me a lot and she said that it's ok for her and that she's trying to understand that mess, as I do. I don't know if there's a future but the only thing I know is that I love him, he loves me back and she loves him and he cares about her a lot so, for now that's all I (the three of us) care about. =) Hi Giss. I know there have been further developments since this post i copied. I do cheer you on in putting the situation behind you. What jumped off the page for me in this post was you previously posted he said he loves his wife. In this one you softened it to 'he cares about her a lot'. That's easier to even type than HE SAID HE LOVES HIS WIFE isn't it. I know because in the past I also wanted to filter what I was told about being loved to only that. In reality, the escape I provided was what was loved. It was I who was cared about a lot also. I wasn't the one that was REALLY loved. I would have recieved any help that was possible to offer but never an open R. Good news is make yourself available to men who are available. That's when the opportunity to be truly loved and truly love happens. Good luck! 2
Cinnimon Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Hi Giss. I know there have been further developments since this post i copied. I do cheer you on in putting the situation behind you. What jumped off the page for me in this post was you previously posted he said he loves his wife. In this one you softened it to 'he cares about her a lot'. That's easier to even type than HE SAID HE LOVES HIS WIFE isn't it. I know because in the past I also wanted to filter what I was told about being loved to only that. In reality, the escape I provided was what was loved. It was I who was cared about a lot also. I wasn't the one that was REALLY loved. I would have recieved any help that was possible to offer but never an open R. Good news is make yourself available to men who are available. That's when the opportunity to be truly loved and truly love happens. Good luck! This........yes
jlola Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) blows my mind how two seemingly smart- although, very naïve -women would be content and willing to share a POS such as this guy. what has the world come to??? I too have noticed many young women are settling for emotionally messed up immature,cowardly much older MM wit a wife and tons of baggage to boot. . You have to wonder why the bar is set so low. They may claim to be beautiful,educated,confident,emotionally balanced. But do they really believe it? Or is it all just talk? Reality is 'water seeks it's own level". Is it that younger,single guys who are successful, have their act together,have little baggage are not paying attention to these women . the older MM validating them with words make them feel special? Something seems quite off with these stories. Take a step back and become a spiritually and emotionally whole person and you will attract the same. Not a half a person who is morally corrupt,selfish and MARRIED!!!! Edited October 11, 2013 by jlola 1
LilGirlandOW Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Jlola what part of the A dynamic do you have experience in? You seem to blanket WS's and AP's as bad guys, but I also don't recall you reflecting as a BS. Are you just an anti-A vigilante?
jlola Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) Jlola what part of the A dynamic do you have experience in? You seem to blanket WS's and AP's as bad guys, but I also don't recall you reflecting as a BS. Are you just an anti-A vigilante? Ok, I know it is difficult to look back on numerous post to see where people tell their stories. So I will tell you. I am not a BS,WS or OW. Infidelity has ruined my immediate family before I was even thought of. My father had an affair with MOW 3 doors down. They had a child who is my half-sister. My mother did not find out until the child was 3 years old and my paternal grandmother(a crazy witch) pointed out a little girl playing. My mother had never looked at the little girl before. But as soon as she saw the face, the dimple on chin. She knew. I had just been born. The last of 3 girls by mother,but 4 in all. My mother is absolutely the most loving,wonderful and beautiful woman you can ever meet. She married way beneath her physically and class wise. My father is a smooth talker and ultimate cheater. He has always been able to twist everything around to make her look like a bitter spiteful woman. He wears his mask very well. My father has also had us meet his mistresses. But we never knew who they were till later. They were "friends" He had to show off his beautiful well behaved kids and take credit which was due to my mother. I kid you not, I found out recently, the clothes one of these kind women gave to us hen my sisters were teens and I was under 10,were actually one of his OW's hand-me downs. He likes them small and thin, so they fit. But the nerve of them both!!!! He also had an affair with my mother's BFF who we had considered an aunt. Her husband who was a just a good guy rightly divorced her( he used to spoil us because they had no children). My mother should too have left long ago. My mother found a letter once stating to one of his OW the day he made love to her was the "happiest day of his life"! I guess the birth of his daughters meant nothing. Sex trumped that! My father was super romantic with his affair partners. they were all the loves of his life. My oldest sister (by 7 years) has cheated on all 4 husbands. Now has a 5th and I suspect she is at it too. 4 months after the wedding, he was at the hospital with anxiety attacks. She was already coming home late and not talking to him for days at a time(this has been M.O. with all husbands). But before she marries them, they are always "her soulmates",her "true love'. everyone before "him" was a mistake! She left her first husband for another man when her only son was just a year old. She somehow manages to lure really good,educated,a couple very wealthy men to marry her. I think they must all have had a white knight syndrome. All except husband #2 who was her affair partner. I have seen her destroy men. None has ever remarried.Pretty sure they will never trust another woman again. She comes off as a damsel, sweet ,caring,loving. Till you marry her. One Christmas, she left husband #4 at my other sister's home in another state. She made BS #4 drive 8 hrs just to dump him with us all Christmas day while she took off to see an ex BF. The same x-BF between husband #2 and husband #3 who sent her to a mental ward. Apparently when cheating happened to her, she could not handle it. We have loved all her ex's. Still talk to all, except #2. Good guys who she would then turn against and talk bad about them because they turned out not to be perfect. It still hurts my heart to see how these men were treated by her. But as I said, she has a gift and attracts really good men. My half -sister pulled what is called (repetition compulsion) she too was married and had her MOM's child(This crap you cannot make up). She was having an affair with a much older man( a friend of my father's. Since her teens,noone knew) she tried to pass my nephew off as her husbands. When there was a DNA and BS and family found out, they were distraught! That was the 1st grandchild and he was doted on by all. The grandmother went into deep depression. My brother-in-law died in a car accident 8 months later. He was only 28 and never the same after the revelation! oops, forgot. My crazy grandmother(father's mother) had 2 children(sons) out of wedlock for a married man. But at least she was single. I guess that is the good part. I have written about all this before. the buck stops here with me! I will never cope the way members of my family have. I also come from a culture where cheating is rampant,so I have seen way too much to see any positive. Whenever I hear someone talk about how affair partner introduced to friends and family, I trigger because I have seen all of that. Lived that. Some of my uncles do it too. I find it highly disrespectful to BS. If you want to cheat, it is bad enough. But to bring your OW in front of people you both know is beyond disrespectful. Then they wonder why BS is so bitter. I have said enough. To me, nothing good comes from affairs and in reading this forum, I see little WS's these OW talk about who have any respect ,integrity or good character. Edited October 11, 2013 by jlola 2
Artie Lang Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 They may claim to be beautiful,educated,confident,emotionally balanced. But do they really believe it? Or is it all just talk? i often wondered that myself. i mean, if they have so much going for themselves, why be content with being the OW..... why be content with only being the "side dish"..... why be content with table scraps. i dunno..... it just seems like being the AP is fashionable these days.
yellowmaverick Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Jlola what part of the A dynamic do you have experience in? You seem to blanket WS's and AP's as bad guys, but I also don't recall you reflecting as a BS. Are you just an anti-A vigilante? Maybe she is just pro-respect, pro-honesty, and pro-integrity. 3
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