Petunia20 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I just found out yesterday through Twitter that my ex has gone back to the woman he cheated on me with over a year ago. When we broke up he moved back to his home state. She lives there also.When he first moved back he was still giving me breadcrumbs saying he hadnt moved that he was only visiting. After a month I cut all contact but not before sending her evidence that he was clearly still very much in contact with me. She then cut contact with him also. Shortly after he started dating another girl who he dumped not too long ago. Now he has gone back to the girl he cheated on me with and I'm devastated. For those who had a difficult time cutting all cyber stalking, can you please give me any words of advice? I understand that I'm only hurtng myself by looking at what he's up to. It was verydifficult for me to stop texting, calling, emailing him. I have been on 3 months NC . I now need to learn to stop checking up on him. I need more self control and I dont know how to stop this.
Philosoraptor Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 You're not NC if you are getting any information on him. Realize that your imagination is much easier to accept than the truth. You can forget something you made up in your mind, but something you see isn't something that is going to go away easily... and it's just going to leave you with more and more questions, and waste more of your time. Spend time taking care of you, not worrying about what some cheater from your past is up to.
JoelBarish Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 It sounds like you are having trouble accepting that it's over. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself it's over. What he does in none of your business. Besides the fact that it's not your business you shouldn't care anyway because you are getting on with your life. If someone mentions his name tell them you don't want to even hear that name anymore because you are done. You have to act as if it's over now and believe it. Close that book in your head. If he texts, ignore it or have him blocked. He gave up on you now it's time for you to give up on him. Block him on social media or stay off it all together. It's time for you to be done with him.
petall Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 If you have an open wound, would you pour salt on it? Well, that's what you are doing when you break NC by checking up on him. Do you want to keep pouring salt on your wound? Or do you want to go on the path to recovery?
Author Petunia20 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Thank you to those who responded and yes I understand I am doing this to myself. I kind of saw it that by knowing the truth and who he really is would help me despise him and forget him. But I am seeing that its doing more bad than good. Regardless of who he is I guess love is blind and I will have feelings for him regardless. So its better to stop snooping and let time heal my wound. I will take it a day at a time. Not sure if I am in denial its been 4 months since our supposed BU and 3 months since i've spoken/seen him. 1
avacado Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Just get rid of social media entirely. I did it mostly so I wouldn't be tempted to check up on my ex, but have realized in just a week's time what a waste of time social networking is.
Author Petunia20 Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Just get rid of social media entirely. I did it mostly so I wouldn't be tempted to check up on my ex, but have realized in just a week's time what a waste of time social networking is. I have a FB and IG which are both private. He also has FB and IG and they are also private. We are not friends on either and have no mutual friends in common. I deleted any mutual friends we had. However, his Twitter, which he had abondoned until a few days ago is public. I just have to stay off of it.
mea_M Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Petunia, If possible, block all sites you can see him on. I can't say I've had a cyberstalking issue as me being the stalker per say, but it only makes sense to block off any avenues to sites or places you know he posts. FB is easy.Delete and block. Instagram the same.Check the settings of apps or sites. Mea 1
JoelBarish Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Thank you to those who responded and yes I understand I am doing this to myself. I kind of saw it that by knowing the truth and who he really is would help me despise him and forget him. But I am seeing that its doing more bad than good. Regardless of who he is I guess love is blind and I will have feelings for him regardless. So its better to stop snooping and let time heal my wound. I will take it a day at a time. Not sure if I am in denial its been 4 months since our supposed BU and 3 months since i've spoken/seen him. Supposed BU? I think it's pretty clear it's over.
Author Petunia20 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 Supposed BU? I think it's pretty clear it's over. I put supposed because he never once told me its over. He had me lingering. I had to initiate NC and he then moved back to his home state. Even while he was there he still sent me breadcrumbs for a month before we stopped talking completely. He would tell me that he was confused that he still loved me blah blah blah... I asked him to tell me to move on and give me closure which he didn't. I then realized that I was the one who had to give myself closure and move on because he was just going to keep playing with me.
JoelBarish Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I put supposed because he never once told me its over. He had me lingering. I had to initiate NC and he then moved back to his home state. Even while he was there he still sent me breadcrumbs for a month before we stopped talking completely. He would tell me that he was confused that he still loved me blah blah blah... I asked him to tell me to move on and give me closure which he didn't. I then realized that I was the one who had to give myself closure and move on because he was just going to keep playing with me. That's too bad. I think your healing has only just begun because of it all went down.
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