How do you feel at the 5 month stage?

[Emma1234]

How did/does everyone else feel at the 5 month post break up feel?

 

I currently feel a billion times better than at the beginning and it's certainly true that time and no contact helps the healing but I still miss him and feel sad that things have ended.

[robbysurfs]

I wake up some days and feel extremely sad and miss my ex girlfriend it passes. I get caught up in it sometimes and it can get upsetting I honestly feel worse at times more then when we first broke up. It feels a bit gut wrenching the idea that it is really over...I can only move forward and I remain nc. I honestly miss all my ex's to some degree but it is easier then it was a month ago because I finally started trying to meet new women.

[Emma1234]

Thank you, helps to know it's normal to still feel rubbish at times and that there is further recovery

[Sameold]

I'm 16/17 months in and I still feel bad but the difference is that when I meet new women now I would be ready to go out with them/date etc and would not always be thinking of my ex.

 

I think if you are alone you will always look back to a meaningful relationship especially if it lasted many years like mine did. Don't put a time on it all.

[mtnbiker3000]

Thank you, helps to know it's normal to still feel rubbish at times and that there is further recovery

 

Just remember. Recovery is not a linear process. It is always up and down. Back and forth. Be kind to yourself and let it happen

[Fufu]

At 5 months, I was still struggling badly.

[cavalier99]

I remeber at 5 months NC i was still having a hard time. And even remeber crying again for the 1st time in a while. ..and it was the last time. By 7 months NC i was over it. Something in me snapped in a good way (i gave up the internal fight) and i couldnt suffer any more. Cav

[Never Again]

I haven't yet hit the 5 month mark, but I'm not over it yet.

 

I'm nearing 4 months. Because we have to be in a wedding together this month and I wanted to remain "civil" with her, I allowed VERY limited contact. I plan to go full NC after the wedding.

 

It hurts. Not as much, but I still find myself getting emotional when I think about her. I miss her, and it's a struggle every day to not let it show.

[JDPT]

I am currently at my 5 month stage and I will not lie I still have my ups and downs, however, feeling substantially better. If I can look back on month 1 or 2, I honestly thought I was paralyzed those months. And just like everyone thought I would never climb out of this hole.

I am still in this dark hole but slowly climbing out of it and seeing the light on top. I've learn that it takes so much dedication and commitment to continue on my recovery journey and that I should make every day count whether I'm having a good day or bad and simply learn from it.

I still have a long way to go which is perfectly fine, I takes this break up as a learning experience which is certainly helping me get to know myself in a deeper sense, what I'm willing to tolerate and what I'm not and ultimately what I look for in a woman once I'm ready to start playing the field.

[chinacat sunflower]

The 5 month mark was tough for me. Not only had I just lost my Grandma whom I was very close with, but my Aunt (who was like a second mother to me) cut off all ties with my family and I. So during that time I lost two very close people to me. In a moment of weakness I reached out to him for the second, and last time. Only to be ignored.

 

From then on I have picked myself up and made a lot of progress. I have my good days and bad, but in general I'm doing a lot better. It's an uphill battle, but we just gotta keep trucking on to slowly start to find ourselves again.

 

Good luck and I hope you feel better

[Beautiful diamond]

It was ok at that point. But little did i know the worse awaited me.....ie finding out about his new gf

[vascularity]

I'd argue that recovery is more contingent on how long you've been in NC as opposed to how long it's been since the breakup. In my case, the total amount of time since the breakup has been more about adjusting to the single lifestyle again and getting used to making your own plans, whereas NC itself is more about removing your mental dependence on the other to validate yourself or to make you happy... I think of it like physical vs. psychological addiction. Though it hurt immensely, kicking the oxytocin/vasopresin bond hasn't been nearly as hard as letting go of the negative emotions that result from getting back in touch with reality and accepting the loss indefinitely.

 

Are things better now? In spades, yeah - both my instinct for self-preservation and drive to succeed have been coming back, slowly but surely. That doesn't mean I don't suffer hard days, weeks, whatever, but I can definitely attest that NC is always, always better than breaking NC. Restarting NC 2 months ago after breaking nearly two months of it felt like I was freshly going through the breakup all over again, neurotic bouts of paranoia or panic attacks and all. That includes social media lurking - if there was a single thing I could recommend above all else, it'd be to completely cut them out of your life in every capacity. Any information you gather, regardless of how innocuous is actually is, will bring you back to day 1 and trust me, you've lived through that once already - you don't need any more aimless pain in your life.