klienman2005 Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 My girlfriend is away at college, we have been going out now for about a year. She is at a very-party oriented school, she is always going out drinking, partying etc. Before I met her, in her freshman year she had sex with like 10 guys in a matter of a few months. Hit up every frat house in town. Prolly worse than that. Any ways she was out of control. I met her and wev’e had a really up and down relationship a lot of fighting due to our long distance relationship. But I know that we both love each other.I also know that sometimes I can be jealous. But recently she started hanging out, and partying with a guy from a fraternity , whom she use to screw, and date etc. I didn’t even know until I found out about it on her cell phone I bought her. She claimed she didn’t want me to blow up about it, and that’s why she hid it. She says theres nothing to worry about, she loves me. BUT im sorry am I wrong to be jealous, and think about her with that guy. I mean last night I called her and she was acting all weird, and I asked her who she was with and she said nobody. Then I asked her again and she said his name, and her other friends name, and claimed they were watching a movie could I call her back. I think that’s ****ty, I mean if there just friends why does she feel I should call her back, I mean she’s seen the movie 10 times. I agreed to just call back, and I am trying to get better at this trust thing, but it just seems disrespectful to me, for her to be hanging out with a guy she use to screw.. Do I have a right to tell her to stay away from him, or will she just see him more if I say that. Im stuck, Am I wrong here? Remember he is from a fraternity….
Merin Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 My theory is.. If you wouldn't want your Mate to know that you're doing something.. then You shouldn't be doing it. I am more concerned that she lied to you, and tried to cover up the fact she is hanging with this guy.. I'm also willing to bet that IF you were chillin with a girl you used to date/sleep with she wouldn't be all okay with that. While you really can't tell her whom to hang out with.. I would let her know you're not comfortable with it and the reason(s) why. LDR are hard enough without having mistrust for your Mate.. that is a killer in any relationship, but especially a LDR. Good Luck
Author klienman2005 Posted December 3, 2004 Author Posted December 3, 2004 thanks, but whats LDR? and also she claims that if i hung out with other girls it would be alright, but honestly i dont, and i dont think i would because i think its disrespetful, i mean iv'e told her i was uncomfortable with it, then i didnt want to be too jealous, cuz she says i am, so i said do what ever i trust you, but really i dont.... Does that make me an ass. I mean, i wanna trust her, but i can't. its in my head already. She always has a way of making me feel im wrong so i need to know is it wrong for me to get pissed about her hanging around with him, i mean i mostly dont trust him, hes prolly trying to cop a feel right now.
Merin Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by klienman2005 thanks, but whats LDR? and also she claims that if i hung out with other girls it would be alright, but honestly i dont, and i dont think i would because i think its disrespetful, i mean iv'e told her i was uncomfortable with it, then i didnt want to be too jealous, cuz she says i am, so i said do what ever i trust you, but really i dont.... Does that make me an ass. I mean, i wanna trust her, but i can't. its in my head already. She always has a way of making me feel im wrong so i need to know is it wrong for me to get pissed about her hanging around with him, i mean i mostly dont trust him, hes prolly trying to cop a feel right now. LDR= Long Distance Relationship You know IF she hadn't given you ANY reason(s) to feel jealous or distrustful then I would say nah you're overreacting.. HOWEVER from what you've said, she tried to hide the fact that she was chillin with this guy.. so yeah being that she had been intimate with him previoulsy and she is NOW trying to cover up the fact that she's spending so much of her time with him.. I think it's reasonable that you're feeling pissed about it. Regarding not trusting him.. Honestly, he isn't the one who needs to be accountable or trusted here.. it's HER. She is the one in the relationship with You..not HIM. So IF anything is going on.. then IMO it would be on her. You need to talk to your girl.. let her know that you're trying really hard to make things work and that you really care for her.. but tell her you are NOT comfortable with her hanging out with this guy.. and the part about her saying it's okay with her IF you do it.. well being that she knows you WON'T do it, it makes it pretty easy for her to say that.
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