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Being autistic is a living hell.


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Posted

I have a mild case of autism which causes me to be zoned out. I remember in high school I would go an entire class period without saying a word. Everyone would say why doesn't he talk. My nickname was 'The aloof one'. I had few friends in high school and never dated and what is worse I remember some of the prettiest girls in the school saying I was hot but nothing I could do.

 

When I was 19 I learned that the more times I put myself in uncomfortable social situation the better I could handle them. Whenever there was a group of people talking it would make me feel tired and if I said anything it came out wrong. I would drive to different malls and stores, and try and talk to new people. At first, if I met one new person on a Saturday that was a good day. Eventually, I got to the point where I was very out spoken. I had a job as car salesmen, made some good friends.

 

However, I developed a bit of an addictive issue towards dating. I wouldn't date any girl more than twice. I felt that there was always somebody better, and any time I saw an attractive girl I would try and ask her out. There was several times I got numbers from girls who had a bf nearby that's how sick I was.

 

This lasted for about three years. I then was able to relax on the dating ,but I faced an bigger problem. I met a girl who I liked. I had no experience dating anyone that really cared for. We'd go out on a date, have a good time and I would be crying my eyes out afterwards. I couldn't handle it. She gave this speech implying that I was the guy for her and I agreed to only date her. We only dated two months and she broke up with me because I was an absent bf.

 

I took losing her as punishment for dating women who had bfs. After dating so many different women I knew exactly what I wanted and she was it. I had to force myself to start dating again but I probably should've just quit back then.

 

I haven't dated in three years. I'm just starting to get back at it. I know it's going to be difficult. Anyone think that life is too hard?

Posted

Hi Roger. My BF was diagnosed (at 49) about a week ago with an autism spectrum disorder. We've been together for 12 years. Are you doing any CBT to deal with some of the associated issues with ASD?

 

I think that life must be difficult for you, probably more difficult that a person without ASD. I know myself and my BF have had many issues through the years, completely different issues than I'd even experienced in a relationship before. It's tough, but after 12 years I'm still doing it and so is he. How's life going for you outside of dating issues?

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