elmichi Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Okay so he messaged me on Tinder (a dating app on your phone) We chatted for a very short amount of time and then he said "So, we should get dinner, lunch, or coffee sometime, if only to meet another grad student." We both agreed later in the week is good for us and we tentatively settled sometime after 5 on Thursday. We "met" on Saturday. Should I expect any texts until then? If it's wednesday and he doesn't text me to plan a what/where, should I text him? Just wondering. Obviously, I hardly know him but I wanna go on a date! lol
coolheadal Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Sounds like your two are just in the early stages. Give it a chance and see how it develops between you two?
Author elmichi Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Sounds like your two are just in the early stages. Give it a chance and see how it develops between you two? Well, I guess my real question is, is he the one expected to confirm or does it not matter? As in, if he doesn't, will that mean he's not interested? --Clearly, I haven't dated in awhile (or really ever at all) so I'm nitpicking texting.
coolheadal Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Your going out this Thursday so wait and see how it goes with him. Just to early to tell. Also be your self. Relax, don't talk to much let him talk then you talk. But just don't sit there an say nothing. Again see how this develops. Look at him and smile. Check his eyes and see if he's focus on you? Same goes for you also. See if you have chemistry doing the time your with him. Also to answer your other question yes there is some intent for you otherwise he won't have plan to go out with you this week. Do report back how that goes? I wise you the best! Just enjoy yourself with him.
Author elmichi Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) Okay, so we went on the date (he texted me) The date went well, we went to a local campus bar and each got a beer (paid separately, he got his before I arrived). We both seemed to talk about our grad programs a lot, he seemed interested.. leaned in towards me, his leg touched mine and he kept it there, etc. He also mentioned all the girls in his program were married or taken but not him. He also hinted halfway through the date that his friend from out of town was coming and if me and my friends wanted to come we should. Ok, ok.. good right? Well, I think I screwed up the end. He said (after conversation died down a bit) hey, well, I have to get back to my lab... which I immediately took as him ending the date cause he wasn't interested... and started to zone him out.. but I think he was trying to walk me home (he knew I lived by his lab) and I blew it by saying (after he asked if I was heading home) "I actually have to go back to my clinic (I had to get my backpack but didn't say that) " .. and we awkwardly hugged and went separate ways. What now? Should I text him? I'm not positive he was trying to walk me home but I think he was.. and now he probably thinks I wasn't interested. lol Edited October 11, 2013 by elmichi
tlegend Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Okay, so we went on the date (he texted me) The date went well, we went to a local campus bar and each got a beer. We both seemed to talk about our grad programs a lot, he seemed interested.. leaned in towards me, his leg touched mine and he kept it there, etc. He also mentioned all the girls in his program were married or taken but not him. He also hinted halfway through the date that his friend from out of town was coming and if me and my friends wanted to come we should. Ok, ok.. good right? Well, I think I screwed up the end. He said (after conversation died down a bit) hey, well, I have to get back to my lab... which I immediately took as him ending the date cause he wasn't interested... and started to zone him out.. but I think he was trying to walk me home (he knew I lived by his lab) and I blew it by saying (after he asked if I was heading home) "I actually have to go back to my clinic (I had to get my backpack but didn't say that) " .. and we awkwardly hugged and went separate ways. What now? Should I text him? I'm not positive he was trying to walk me home but I think he was.. and now he probably thinks I wasn't interested. lol If you text him that you had a great time and set up another date, all feelings of whether or not you blew him off will go out the window. A guy doesn't try to walk a girl home that he isn't into.
Author elmichi Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 (edited) If you text him that you had a great time and set up another date, all feelings of whether or not you blew him off will go out the window. A guy doesn't try to walk a girl home that he isn't into. I just wasn't positive he was trying to, you know? I just heard "I have to go" and started to think about that but when he asked if I was heading home I realized what I think he was doing. I wish he would have just said "Hey I have to get to lab but your're heading that way too, right?" then I wouldn't have taken it as him ending it to leave lol Update: I texted him " I had a good time tonight Let me know what you're up to this weekend" and he said "Yeah it was nice and I will!" Edited October 11, 2013 by elmichi
Author elmichi Posted October 11, 2013 Author Posted October 11, 2013 Any other thoughts on how this date went/his reply? I'm not sure. Haven't heard anything today.
tlegend Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Any other thoughts on how this date went/his reply? I'm not sure. Haven't heard anything today. Pretty short and to the point. Can't really make any assessment off of that. Today IS friday however.... Maybe hit him up tomorrow afternoon or around lunch and see what his plans are for that night? Don't be afraid to take the reigns and take HIM out on a date if you're really into him. Maybe he's the kind of guy you have to pretty much slap upside the head and say "hey doofus, I like you, and I'm asking you out on this date so you won't be such a pussy the next time!" Best of luck!
Author elmichi Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Pretty short and to the point. Can't really make any assessment off of that. Today IS friday however.... Maybe hit him up tomorrow afternoon or around lunch and see what his plans are for that night? Don't be afraid to take the reigns and take HIM out on a date if you're really into him. Maybe he's the kind of guy you have to pretty much slap upside the head and say "hey doofus, I like you, and I'm asking you out on this date so you won't be such a pussy the next time!" Best of luck! Really? I thought since I was the one to text him after the date and since he said "he will!" text me about the weekend, that I should wait for him. He doesn't use !!'s all too often so I feel like he should.. as silly as that sounds
Author elmichi Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Hmmm. And no text and its Saturday night. Bummer.
ebt100 Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Hmmm. And no text and its Saturday night. Bummer. I don't think there would be any harm in sending another text, asking him if he wants to go out. I guess the worst he would say is "no," but at least you'll have tried and you'll know. It's possible he was busy or something, or just forgot. At least he responded to your post-meeting text (he could have just ignored it). If, however, you just kind of feel awkward texting him in general (since you don't know him that well yet) I can certainly understand that. The last thing I'd say is given you are both in grad school, with a heavy workload some people's focus may not be as much into dating and personal life as if you just had jobs or something. Good luck.
Author elmichi Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 I don't think there would be any harm in sending another text, asking him if he wants to go out. I guess the worst he would say is "no," but at least you'll have tried and you'll know. It's possible he was busy or something, or just forgot. At least he responded to your post-meeting text (he could have just ignored it). If, however, you just kind of feel awkward texting him in general (since you don't know him that well yet) I can certainly understand that. The last thing I'd say is given you are both in grad school, with a heavy workload some people's focus may not be as much into dating and personal life as if you just had jobs or something. Good luck. We both are really busy, but we both bonded over being new to this school, being new to grad school, and he seemed like he was really looking for "someone". We also live really close to one another (like 5 minutes) and he seemed to light up over that. I just find it really strange he said would text me for sure and didn't. I'm pretty disappointed. He mentioned his friend was coming into town but he invited me casually during the date to come out with them. I don't get it. I didn't think the date went perfect, but judging by his want to meet new people (girls) & his mention of how hard it was to meet fellow grads, I'd at least think he'd give it another chance. I don't want to text him cause I'm afraid he'll say yes to another date out of obligation. I don't want to date someone who isn't into me.
Author elmichi Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 What is the overall consensus? Should I text him or no? When he first messaged me on the profile, we talked Saturday, set a time for Thursday, and then he didn't text until Wednesday to set the place. He doesn't seem super chatty over text. But at the same time, is it obvious from my last text I'm interested? and should he text me?
MidwestUSA Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Text him and ask him out. Have a specific date, place and time in mind. His response (or lack of) will give you your answer. Believe me, if he's not interested, he won't waste the time 'out of obligation'.
Author elmichi Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Against everyone's wishes, I texted him about an hour ago. I said "So, another weekend of studying for me. How was yours?". To me, I handle rejection pretty well. What I don't handle well is confusion (what I was experiencing before). I don't care if he rejects/is not interested.. I just want a for sure he is/isn't interested so based on his response (or lack thereof) I'll know. I think this is best for me. My BF of 3 years broke up with me a month ago and I moved on just fine because he was straightforward about it. That's just something I need, personally.
Author elmichi Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Well, he responded 15 minutes later. He said " Just spent some quality time with my visiting friends, nothing crazy, just catching up. Now I'm trying to catch up on statistics. Sorry I didn't text, we didn't do much anyways." Long reply, said sorry for not texting. More than what I expected! This is what I'm thinking of replying with: " That's fine. Since I know we both have stuff to do, let's study together sometime this week. It'll give me an excuse to sit down and actually study (which I desperately need to do)" thoughts?
Author elmichi Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Anyone? It's been 2.5 hours no reply to the last text.
LilacLolly Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I think you handled that well. Has he replied?
Author elmichi Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 I think you handled that well. Has he replied? Nope, never replied. Time will tell. That was my last text for sure though.
Author elmichi Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Well, he replied to my study "Date" and said "Sorry, I'm preparing for this meeting. I don't actually have any studying to do, just data analysis, so I'm stuck in my cubicle." So, not interested for sure. But is being friendly, why? Should I respond to that?
snowflakes88 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 There is nothing there to respond to. He is very clearly not interested in seeing you again. Let it go.
Author elmichi Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 There is nothing there to respond to. He is very clearly not interested in seeing you again. Let it go. I know he's not interested. I wasn't going to respond, don't be so harsh! lol
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