hdev340 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I have been in a long distance relationship for over three years now. I go to college while my boyfriend lives back home and works. He is my first and only boyfriend. I don't always feel like my boyfriend supports my decisions . This year I have been looking at life a lot differently and really figuring out what I want to do with my life. My boyfriend wants to live back home for the rest of his life, but my town is so small and I don't know if I want to go back. I am so confused and don't know what would happen if I told him I don't want to move back home and I want to start a life in a bigger city with him. I love him a lot and I am scared to loose him. I am a very supportive girlfriend and I always give in to anything he wants, but I don't know if I can give up on my dreams. What should I do????
Polak Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 First off, props to your relationship length. For your first to be long-distance for over 3 years certainly shows you're willing to make things work. I take it from your post that you met your boyfriend in your hometown. I think the best thing in this situation is to sit down with him and speak your mind. Communication is very important, so be transparent and honest. Considering you've already made it through 3 years in this relationship, it might not be too bad to go another couple in a different city where you want to start working. I don't think you should give up on your dreams (whatever they are) but if your boyfriend plays a part in those dreams, you have to talk with him. In a relationship, compromises have to be made sometimes in order for things to work out. So this brings me to what you said about "giving in to anything he wants"... I hope that's not 100% true, you need to have a say in some things. Relationships shouldn't be one-sided. Just be honest with him. Some people take a break from their relationship to go off and do what they want, and some even get back together later on down the road. It's not an improbable scenario. I know it sounds cliche, but do what feels right. Take some more time to think about your future, and pray about it. You've still got some time to figure it all out! 1
CherryT Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I don't think that you should give up your dreams. Sometimes people grow together and other times people grow apart. In order for your relationship to thrive and be healthy, you must both have some shared goals and be willing to compromise and work together to build a life you both want to live. If he is unwilling to move to the city and you're unwilling to move back home, it's an indicator that both of you just want something different out of life. It's not a bad thing, but it's something you both have to sit down and discuss. 1
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