cristy Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) <Moderation note: Two similar threads merged> Brief summary: Awful break up after two years. He dumped me. I didn't expect it, so I left things at his place. We bought stuff together, I lost my job and the bills are coming to my account. Right after we broke up I told him I'd call him to get my things back and discuss the bills issue. Almost three weeks of NC now. I know I have to do it, I just think it might be too painful and will get me back to square one. I'm trying to move on, actually I've met someone recently and we're sort of getting to know each other. I don't want to relive the pain again. What should I do? Wait? Get it over with? Please help Edited October 10, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged threads
headinthecloud Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 It's only been 3 weeks so be gentle with yourself. Prioritize what's important - which is you. I would make arrangements via email to pick up your things and be clear about what you expect to take when you come to pickup your things. You will have to compromise so be prepared, it might be best to have a friend or family member help you when you do go to pickup your things. Once the living situation is sorted then go NC (no contact) and move on. You will get through this, be strong.
Author cristy Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 It's only been 3 weeks so be gentle with yourself. Prioritize what's important - which is you. I would make arrangements via email to pick up your things and be clear about what you expect to take when you come to pickup your things. You will have to compromise so be prepared, it might be best to have a friend or family member help you when you do go to pickup your things. Once the living situation is sorted then go NC (no contact) and move on. You will get through this, be strong. Thank you so much for your imput Headinthecloud. Thing is he doesnt check his email that much. And I dont wanna use whatsapp for obvious reasons. I really dont want to start a conversation or anything. I guess im afraid of what i might find if i actualy go get my stuff. If he's happy, it'll hurt. If he's cold, it will hurt. And worst of all, indifference. That would be really painful to endure. I want to b honest with myself: i still have feelings for him. And i'm not sure if that's the best scenario to meet again. But i do want my stuff back. I'm not talking cothes or anything like that. My MacBook is over there.. I just dont feel strong enough to face him, nor detached enough to send someone else to pick it up for me, because a part of me still wants to see him :S i know i sound bipolar or something.. Im just so confused right now
Author cristy Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 I have to meet him because he has to return stuff and so do I, besides we bought things together and we have to talk about how we are going to handle the bills (i payed this month because it's coming to my account). I have to face him but it's only been 3 weeks since we broke up. When will be the right time? How will I know? Right now I feel strong enough to face him, but once he's standing in front of me... I dont want feelings to come up again on my end (he dumped me claiming he didn't love me anymore) What do you think? How would you approach this? Btw email is not an option. He never checks it.
hurts2death Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 i would say meet him now and start healing after the meeting ....
h0000 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 probably 6 months later is the right time. but im sure bills cant wait. you just have to be strong I guess if you absolutely cannot avoid it. wait till the last day of the bill lol
Cali408 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Buy new stuff. Return his stuff when he won't be home. Like when you know he's at work, drop it all off and leave a note requesting reciprocity. And write, don't call me, I don't want to see you.
reddragon588 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 I would say the stuff you have to return, box up and have a friend give it to him. Ask the friend if they can grab your stuff while they are there. The bills are trickier. He needs to compensate you for what you paid this month. That part will likely require interaction. I would try to get that done as soon as possible, simply to get it over with. Once it's over you'll feel a lot better. 1
Author cristy Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Thank you so much guys. This past weekend i contacted him to settle this, but he said he had some stuff to do (on a sunday. Yeah, right) and that he'd get back to me. He called sunday at 4pm. He asked me to go to his place to get the stuff. Call me twisted, but being in that place alone with him is like the last thing on earth i wanna do right now. So i told him i had already made plans. I feel kinda proud of myself. I sounded confident and happy, keeping a good mood. What do u think? Did i do the right thing?
anna121 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Get a friend to go with you, and get it over with. You are playing games with yourself and it will block your healing.
Recommended Posts