Alpha11 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Ok so I am seeing a girl. We get on really well and we seem to be compatible for each other. A few "dates" ago we had a chat about the spark and what is missing (me being more chilled out). We met again, where i nthe closing stages I was those things. We the went on a trip, which we both really enjoyed. She said she liked me a bit more (the week up to this, she said she was liking me a bit). We meet 2 times later, and she tells me she isn't feeling the spark etc. What really hurts is I missed my chance to hold hands at the trip. But even if I did, in between us meeting, the spark fades. Why? Just to note, I initiate all comms like txts/calls, etc. This may be why the spark fades, I don't know. But if she wants to call it quits as soon the spark fades, there's no hope for us. As I said, she has to like me as person regardless of spark, but I think she still needs to see me as a person more (as in see my different sides) to really like me. Any help with keeping the spark alive will help
Mr.Mango Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Well if by spark, you mean, her attraction to you, then that's completely up to her, nothing you can do about it. If by spark, you mean, a weird sense of excitement people at first get when dating, then feel free to use any move or dating technique people might suggest to you. I'm sort of missing info here (how long you've dated, age, etc.) but if a girl began talking to my about the spark, I'd have some concerns. Fireworks are exciting, but short lived. Setting one of every once and a while is fee-sable, but you can't be running a 24/7 light show. As anyone who has had a LTR relationship will tell you, a spark either dies out or eventually fades and resolves into a slow burning fire. Some individuals can become a bit addicted to this early stage of dating, but it only becomes less and less important the longer and more serious a relationship becomes. 1
Author Alpha11 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 We've seen each other 6 times over 4 months. Spark as in butterflies and the excitement. Attraction is mentioned too, however. We are both 25. I think in our case, the spark dies and doesn't turn into a slow burning fire.
deathandtaxes Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 We've seen each other 6 times over 4 months. Spark as in butterflies and the excitement. Attraction is mentioned too, however. We are both 25. I think in our case, the spark dies and doesn't turn into a slow burning fire. Six times in four months? That's not a relationship. That's six weeks between dates? Why so few dates in that long of a time?
KatZee Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) I wouldn't even call meeting 6 times in 4 months dating. I'm finding it hard to even considering this a friendship. It's like a mere acquaintanceship at best. Add in the fact that she never initiates conversation, and that you guys are struggling to keep a "spark" alive in such early days and I'm going to say: forget it. Relationships that are right for you and that are a good fit, are not this much work. They aren't such a struggle, and they most certainly aren't things you force. All I see here is you trying to force something that isn't there. She's already admitted to you that she doesn't feel that "thing" for you. It's not going to magically manifest itself if you show her more things about you. It's been 4 months. More than enough time for her to have a pretty good grasp on who you are and what you're about. The spark isn't "dying" in between get together's with her. It's just not even there to begin with... at least not from her end. This is why she doesn't reach out to you, and it's why you've only met with her a mere 6 times in 120+ days. Edited October 8, 2013 by KatZee 1
Phantom888 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Six times in four months? That's not a relationship. That's six weeks between dates? Why so few dates in that long of a time? 6 times in 4 months (around 16 weeks) would make it 2.66 weeks between dates, right? Still that's not a relationship. You guys are just friends, so of course the sparks don't go crazy. You so silly.
deathandtaxes Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 6 times in 4 months (around 16 weeks) would make it 2.66 weeks between dates, right? Still that's not a relationship. You guys are just friends, so of course the sparks don't go crazy. You so silly. My math was so off. o_O
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